European Stars and Stripes (Newspaper) - October 07, 1990, Darmstadt, Hesse                                Job Security not what it once was Cindy Chambers columnist it was the 1970s, and my husbands three College buddies were out in the civilian world. Smug in their three piece suits and Bobby Goldsboro sideburns they chided my husband Over bodes of Coors. A Cha has they said. A you look like a total Dork with that i haircut. And that uniform you Wear to work is like totally out  a maybe a he admitted. A but it keeps me in Coors. And i have Job Security like you   it was True. He  have gotten out of the army if head driven a tank through the commanders office. Through a million moves and a billion Maneu vers we had a steady paycheck. It Wasny to much but we were saving several thousand dollars a year on three piece suits alone. So when he missed the birth of our first child by a Mere three months we consoled ourselves with the fact that we had Job Security. When we slept on the floor of our fort Hood apartment for half a year because our bedroom set had to quote the transportation office a sort of disappeared a we reminded each other that we had Job Security. And when he recently brought Home his third set of orders in 12 months we went for each others throats. But Between clenched Teeth we managed to croak out something about a you guessed it a Job Security. But life has its moments of hilarious irony does no to it it seems that now that my husbands friends Are settled Down As accountants podiatrists and research scientists making enough Money to furnish a House and then stay in it the Pentagon has announced that it will a continue to trim its Active duty  it sounds like something that might take place in a bakery but actually involves the loss of thousands of soldiers a year. So now my husband is frantically trying to put together a a civilian portfolio a which would be easier if either of us knew what one was. His Brand new incredibly expensive resume consists mainly of six or seven years experience in getting dirty interrupted by several months of schooling in which he Learned How to Tell other soldiers How to get dirty followed by extended periods during which he went out and got extremely dirty. So you can see that he is dripping in marketable Job skills and should be Able to take his pick of Fortune 500 companies if Uncle Sam decides to give him a Hearty handclaps. Still i firmly believe hell choose to continue to serve in uniform. Its so much a part of our lifestyle. And i can see him trading in his Green Cap with the two Silver bars for a Blue Cap with two Golden Arches someday. They have a corporate program called a pm Job Security that sounds very very promising to us  manners Judith Martin dear miss manners a when i encountered a Man i knew from a few years ago he was in the company of another Man. Various clues indicated that they were a  this is All right with me but i do not know if they Are aware of my attitude. If this had been a Man woman couple i would have been at ease in asking tactfully about their relationship a a ooh is this your wife a or a Are you married now a a without causing offence though perhaps risking a mild Faux Pas if the response was a ooh my goodness no a this is my Cousin and a polite laugh by All of us. Is there a Way of making my openness known without risking a serious affront does current convention require that i abide by the etiquette restrictions of a homophobic society gentle Reader a it seems to miss manners that your anxiety to prove How tolerant you Are has blinded you to the Basic Tenet of tolerance a minding ones own business. If indeed you would demand to know whether a heterosexual couple were married or planning to be so you would be guilty of rudeness Only too Likely to cause them embarrassment. These arrangements Are for others to announce. If you feel that the two gentlemen you met have made it Clear to you that they Are a couple and you wish to show your pleasure in their happiness Why done Horoscope for the week of oct. 7 Libra sept. 23-oct. 22 take a break from rules and regulations. Quiet reflection and nature studies refresh your mind. Watch rhetoric. Wasted words mean trouble. Call your own shots. Scorpio oct. 23-nov. 21 step out of character for a change of Pace. Reveal a new facet of your multidimensional personality. Sidestep the grouches. Stay mentally Alert. Sagittarius nov. 22-dec. 20 its a Good week for making commitments but read clauses very carefully. Avoid haste and eccentric ideas. Get More involved in fund raising and Charity drives. Capricorn dec. 21-Jan. 19 Money does no to grow on Trees. Follow traditional methods to avoid financial insecurity. Check with experts before altering investments. Invite friends for Impromptu gatherings. Aquarius Jan. 20-feb. 18 take advantage of rare opportunities for growth. Balance self expression and partnership needs. Rekindle your interest in Community affairs. Charity work lifts spirits. Pisces feb. 19-March 20 Fly into High orbit. Enjoy romantic fireworks. Brainstorms abound. Look below the surface to discover secrets about yourself. Stay flexible. Surprises Are in store. Aries March 21-april 19 time to fight the Battle of the bulge again. Stock up on groceries and health foods. Keep Energy up. Business matters demand full attention. Aggressive action pays you invite them Over for dinner dear miss manners a what i do not know about tipping and i doubt that i am alone is what to co with the tip. Do i hold it in my hand so the person can pick it up do i put it somewhere where it can be picked up what if i am caught with nothing Between a $50 Bill and a Nickel or what if i have Only a credit card i tend to avoid going to places where there arc people who have to be tipped so i will not suffer the embarrassment of doing it wrong. Can you help gentle Reader a tipping is such a vile custom that miss manners is not surprised you go out of your Way to avoid situations where it is done. She offers special commendation to restaurants hotels and other businesses that automatically add a reasonable service charge and then prohibit tipping. Nevertheless she fails to see Why you have a problem handing tips Over. Surely there Are few areas of etiquette in which the subjects cooperate More readily to make the gesture easy. If there is not an outstretched hand there will be when you place Money into yours and reach out. Restaurant tips Are left on the table or on the credit form. If you do not have the Cash for a tip say so. Say a a in a like to give you something for your trouble a and then ask where you can change a $50 Bill or Cash a Check. A Bill to which someone could reasonably be expected to have change say $10, can be handed Over with the remark a could you please give me $9 change for this a United features dividends. Taurus april 20-May 20 nurture family members on the rocks. Join the clan for joyous events. Make positive thinking your calling card. Good Luck comes your Way through the mail. Gemini May 21-june 20 plunge into your fall cleanup Campaign with vigor. Plan festive celebrations afterwards. Look at investment strategies Over the Long haul. Buy new gadgets. Cancer june 21-july 22 Road blocks Are Down. Bust through new streets with passion and verve. Scribble thoughts in a journal. Pick up your Paintbrush and expressive artistic vision. Be flexible. Leo july 23-aug. 22 racing ahead with half baked ideas backfires. Look within for guidance. Read the Fine print in business dealings. Eliminate the word impossible from vocabulary. Virgo aug. 23-sept. 22 buy new books and magazines. Be a Dynamo in career matters. Love life slackers but its Only temporary. Watch mood swings. Put on Green thumb in Garden to relieve pressure. Copley news service Cindy Chambers is a military family member living in Schweinfurt Germany