European Stars and Stripes (Newspaper) - November 3, 1990, Darmstadt, Hesse                                Ann Landers dear Ann Landers i am 36 years old and happily engaged to a Fine Man. Fourteen years ago i was engaged to another Man. Unfortunately my first Fiance i la Call him Greg refused to set the Date and kept putting me off. After wearing his Beautiful Diamond ring for three years i decided to remove it from my hand to avoid the embarrassing question from family members and friends a when Are you two going to get married a i kept seeing Greg for three More years hoping head get serious about marriage but it never happened. As time rolled on i had to face the fact that Greg was never going to marry me. I decided to break up with him and asked if he wanted the ring Back. He said a no. Its yours. I gave it to you for your  because of my admiration for this Man i agreed that we should remain Friendly. We both developed other relationships introduced one another to our new partners and often double dated. Last week Greg told me he wants to marry the woman with whom he a been living this past year. He has asked me to return the Diamond ring he gave me 14 years ago. Its a perfect Stone weighing 1.5 carats purchased in 1976 for $1,800. He says today it would Cost at least twice As much. Ann i have been paying insurance on this ring for 14 years not to mention that i am pretty upset about Greg a request. I done to want to look like a Gold Digger or an Overly materialistic woman. On the other hand i love that ring and would hate to part with it. Please Tell me what to do. A p.m.k., Branford Conn. Dear Branford if you value Greg a Friendship give the ring Back. If you feel that he has so damaged the relationship that you no longer want to be friends a i  blame you a keep the ring and Tell him to take a hike. Legally the ring is yours because he gave it to you As a birthday gift. Had that not been the Case he would have been entitled to the ring because you broke the engagement. Incidentally according to a Chicago Diamond consultant Lester Lampert a Fine Quality Diamond ring that Cost $1,800 in 1976 would probably be Worth about $10,000 today. Please write again. In a dying to know How this turns out. Dear Ann Landers my wife and i Are happily married and someday soon wish to have children. As married couples often do we be discussed possible names for the children. My wife wants very much to have a Junior. I on the other hand feel a child should have its own identity and said i was opposed to it. Six months ago when my pregnant sister and her husband approached me and asked if they could name their baby after me if its a boy i was flattered and said a of  this is when the problem started. My wife was upset that i had agreed to this after i had objected so strongly to our using the name. Second she was Hurt that she Hadnot been consulted. Now every time the family gets together and the baby a name is used she becomes upset and withdrawn. Do you have any suggestions on How we can make this situation bearable in the future caught in the Middle in a. Dear a its too late to completely rectify the situation but i think your wife is right on both counts. Your Only Hope is to agree to name your son after you and Pray for a girl. Creators Syndicate saturday november 3, 1990 the stars and stripes Page 11 letters a responses to Gray s remark Are mixed a 5ecf.n.t article in the stars and stripes desert shield edition entitled a the crushing wait quoted the commandant of the Marine corps Gen. Alfred m. Gray jr., there will be no morale problem in the 1st Marine expeditionary Force because i say there will be mor. A he also stated a there will be no boredom a and said we should a suck in that gut and a buy that  As a career Marine of 10 years and a sergeant deployed away from my wife and daughter in operation desert shield i believe the commandants statements to be demoralizing in themselves. Questions which prompted these Quick witted albeit antiquated responses Are honest and Heartfelt from the very marines which he has praised As the Best trained Best educated and most highly motivated Al Volunteer marines that Over a decade ago we sought to recruit so aggressively. As we Are led to believe the vigorous recruiting campaigns of the past have been geared toward individuals a 0 a.r�, motivated better educated honest and of unfailing integrity. Has the general discounted the simple fact that a person of this Caliper is going to ask questions As opposed to blindly accepting the conditions m which he has been placed the commandant further stated a i do not want to hear any More questions about How Long you Are going to be Here a and finished with How he just might extend the commitments of the marines whose enlistments expire while deployed to the operation. I believe that the commandant has failed to touch base with the real problem. If a morale problem exists Here it is not about alcohol food recreation or even living conditions. It is about straight honest answers from those we perceive to possess them. We Are deluged daily with bureaucratic dashing and dodging when our own commanding officers Are faced with the same questions. Did Gen. Gray honestly expect to be spared these queries i believe not. We would like to know that our concerns account for some consideration. We Are not demanding anything nor Are we under the impression that our leadership holds a Crystal Ball. We do however request the respect we deserve. As a reply even a simple a i do not know indicates honesty. Even a a somebody is working on it leads us to believe that somebody somewhere is considering the problem. No explanation is needed because marines for years have come to accept these As Standard. I believe the statements from the commandant to be highly offensive to my intelligence and to be More demoralizing than any condition we Are brought to endure while Here. They Are certainly not deserved without explanation to the Fine marines to which they were addressed. A sgt. Stephen Keim operation desert shield i would like to Call counter Battery on an article aug i me us Sci. Egin with if you Lack morale in general you do list in the . Marine corps otherwise you a morale sags in the  had the author understood the language of marines a particularly that of Gen. Gray he would not have written an article implying a morale sags in the  to beg not enl a. Are asking for trouble. You understand instinctively As Rommel did that a the Best form of a welfare for the troops is first class  and those who saw the commandant speaking on lbs had no doubt that when he said a i say there will be morale a the vocal support of his marines could probably be heard across the Border. In fact it would have been even louder had the marines embarked aboard the amphibious ready group been Able to rid themselves of those Haze Gray Greasy hulls and come ashore to be with their brother marines close to the line of departure. Perhaps the reluctance of some to have the press up front is understandable when so few reporters Nave actually served in uniform and have never taken humor i in the military school of thought. A maj. James Massie Munich Germany this is addressed to the a a Tough Gen. Gray who previously called Uso shows  first id like to say a lighten  the Uso show  Only break up the boredom Over Here it might actually make some of us laugh. You know we already have so Many rules to follow Over Here its incredible what havoc other comments and attitudes from higher ranking individuals in the states can create. Did you Ever think of two shows so the perimeter guards could still do their jobs some of us May even miss it then. I can to believe the cold reaction of a person toward the morale of subordinates. I think those who Are stateside should be trying to see what can be done about the endless hours of dead boredom. Why kill it off with cold negativism we Are All professionals in our branches of service. I am not a Marine and never had any intention of being one. In a in the air Force and serving my country in desert shield like everyone else Over Here. We Are All doing the Best we can being Busy. It sure does no to help for even a Low ranking sergeant As myself to be shot Down by a High ranking officer. Instead Why not try spending a month with your troops in a tent and out on the flight line or at least try to see our Point of View instead of sitting in your office shooting us Down. The Uso show will hopefully go on for some of us and those of us fortunate enough to go will have an hour or two to maybe enjoy ourselves and have a half Way decent time. Is it so a a ludicrous to see that a sgt. C. Evenden operation desert shield pen pals i am 31 years old and a roman Catholic. My hobbies Are listening to music Reading magazines dancing and swimming. A Gau Alosa a. Bolagao South Poblacion siquijor siquijor Philippines i would like overseas pen friends. I am 24 years old. My interests Are writing poetry listening to jazz and Reading espionage novels a Nina Marcella t. Baas Sto. Nino drive Magnao Dumaguet City 6200, Philippines i am 14 years old and would like pen pals from All Over the world. I enjoy rollerskating listening to music swimming Ana going to parties. A Kerl Everett Box 4981/435 Ces Apo new York 09057-5000 i am 29 years old and a roman Catholic. My interests Are Art jazz watching films on to Reading and swimming. A Sarat. Gaga a Melrose Dorado a Artelle or. Ponce de Leon subdivision Buxiao Dumaguet City 6200 Philippines i am a 31-year-old vietnamese living in France. I would like american pen pals so i can improve my English. A Doan Phuong Lan 11 Rue do Amsterdam 6800 Colmar France i would like pen pals. I am aware of the american military because of my deceased Veteran father. A Maria Wayne m. Cuevas Poblacion tin ago Banawan Negros Oriental 6221 Philippines i would like to share communication through letters. A Irene m. Belotindos do beb s Beauty parlor 1160 Claro m. Recto Street Banawan Negros Oriental 6221 Philippines Hes ipes european edition circulation 190,000 col. Gene e. Townsend Usan commander editor in chief it. Col Gayle w. Fix Usa Deputy commander editor in chief Marie Kominicki Bob Wicker Deane b. Mcdermott production manager managing editor circulation manager is newspaper is an authorized unofficial publication for members of the military services overseas. Contents of the stars and stripes Are not necessarily the official views of or endorsed by the . Government the department of defense or the . European command. The appearance of advertising in this publication including inserts or supplements does not constitute endorsement by the department of detente or the stars and stripes of the products or sen ices advertised. Active raised in this publication shall be made available for Purchase use or patronage without regard to race color religion sex National origin age marital status physical Handicap political affiliation or any other non Merit Rector of the purchaser user or Patron. Main office switchboard 06165-6010. Ets 348-5741 or 5823. For departments dial 06155-601 plus Extension or ets 348-8 plus the Extension. News ext. 237,255,282,226,326. Sports ext. 225,269,263,332,321,221. Features ext. 230,245 or 341. Letters to editor ext. 208. Education a cml Jones ext. 226. Medicine Janet d Agostino ext. 230. Business Randy Mcclain ext. 326. Advertising display ext. 247 or 309. Classified ext. 349. Telex 419-332. Tel fax 06155-601376. Mailing address Apo 09211-4211 or Postrach 11 14 37, d-6100 Darmstadt 11, Germany. News bureaus Bremerhaven Germany Ken Clauson building 103, Carl Schurz Cavern Apo 09069 Telephone ets 342-8659 or civilian 0471-88782. Kaiserslautern Germany Deedee Arrington Doke Peggy Davidson Lynda Davidson building 2899, Pulaski Barracks Apo 09227-3717 Telephone civilian 0631 -52104. Munich Germany Steve Taylor building 16, c stairwell 2nd floor Mcgraw Cavern soured Apo 09407 Telephone ets 440-7320 or civilian 089-690-1800. Nurnberg Germany Vince Crawley Effie Bathen building 21, William o. Darby Cavern Apo 09696 Telephone ets 460-7256 or civilian 0911712563. Stuttgart Germany Joseph Owen building 4303, room 201, Wallace Barracks. Mailing address co Vii corps Fin. Group of amp to Wallace Barracks Apo 09154 Telephone ets 420-7179 or civilian 0711 -542571. Wurzburg Germany John Millar room 110, River building Apo 09036 Telephone ets 350-4704 or civilian 0931-71569. Brussels Belgium David Tarrant International press Center 1 Boulevard Charlemagne Box 45, 1041 Brussels Telephone civilian 00322 238-0967 Tel fax 00322 2309088. Mediterranean j. King Cruger Gary Miller and Candida Sansone Naples Italy Asa Box 56, Fpo 09521 Telephone Auto on 625-1110 ext. 4880 or civilian 0039-81 -7624049. New York City room 401, 252 seventh ave., new York 10001 Telephone 212-620-3333. United kingdom Dave Diehl Amy Geszler Jones building 436 Cess us Raf Mildenhall Apo 09127 Telephone Auto on 238-2228 or civilian 0638-512226. Washington . Janet Howells Lerney Oast a the Pentagon room 2e756, . Box 46095, Washington . 20050-6095 Telephone 703-697-6695 Tel fax 703-693-6366. Circulation offices Germany Berlin civilian 8331846, ets 332-4412 Bremerhaven civilian 0471-85168, ets 342-8119 Rhein main a civilian 069-692050 or 692565, ets 330-6025 or 7103. Telex 412712, Cen Reg Tel fax 069-694087 Kaiserslautern civilian 0631-57070 or 57079, ets 489-7100 Munich civilian 0896901503 or 6901504, ets 440-6556, Tel fax 089-699-1606 Nurnberg civilian 0911-712558, ets 460-7001 Stuttgart civilian 0711-546743, ets 420-7175. Greece Athens civilian 9923390. Italy Vicenza civilian 0444-515358, ets 634-7545, Tel fax 0444-300641. Spain Madrid ets 665-5807, civilian and Tel fax 00341 -6561465. Turkey Istanbul civilian 664372, Tel fax 0090-1-1664372 United kingdom civilian Newbury 0635-44768, Auto on 266-3209