European Stars and Stripes (Newspaper) - November 3, 1990, Darmstadt, Hesse Operation desert shield those left behind the wives i continued from Page 13 husband is in saudi Arabia. Graves the acting station manager for the Mainz american red Cross is the wife of master chief warrant officer 4 Stanley h. Graves. Quot there s been much More cohesiveness Between the wives Quot Graves said. Quot Many rallied around Potenza in support in a Way that would t have been done if her husband had been Here Quot Graves 43, went through a similar separation from her husband during Vietnam Quot i Don t know if that makes it easier or harder because we did no to think wed be going through this again Quot she said. She did learn through that experience that spouses must take the responsibility to choose not to make their lives More difficult. Quot our husbands really had no Choice in going. We do have choices in How we Deal with it. Hopefully All of us will choose to make the Best of it and support each other and our husbands because its not pleasant for them either Quot she said. The one time More than others that Graves missed her husband was when she dropped off her 15-year-old daughter Amy with a group of friends to attend her Homecoming dance her other daughter 12-year-old Lisa was spending the night with a Friend. Quot when i turned to leave i started to cry. My husbands in saudi my son s in College and i m leaving my daughter on this special occasion. There was no one Here to share it with Quot Graves said. During the three weeks her husbands unit was on Avert status before deploying Graves said she was on an emotional roller coaster. Quot once you know they re leaving family life is not Normal. It puts a lot of stress on everyone Quot she said. Stress has been a problem for Many of the wives. Quot i know a Tot of wives Are stressing. I can t be the Only one Quot said spec. Theresa Castillo a Supply specialist. Castillo has been hesitant however to turn to the relative strangers within the wives support group. Quot everyone s going through it the same so Why put my problems on someone who a going through the same thing Quot she asked Castillo said her greatest concern is whether her company rotates into saudi Arabia when her husband s company returns to Germany Quot i Don t want the army to destroy our marriage. Being a dual military couple can be real hard on the marriage because of separations due to military duties Quot she said. Castillo 28, said that she and her husband spec. Nicholas Castillo had always shared the household chores and taking care of their two children before he left for saudi Arabia Quot its been difficult raising them with him gone Quot she said. Many of the wives acknowledged that they had not noticed How helpful their husbands had been until they were gone. Dawn Shermer said that it has become difficult trying to Quot fit everything into one she and her husband spec. Jim Shermer spent their last night together cuddling and talking about the future. She said her husband talked a lot about his father who died a year ago and their 17-month-old daughter Danielle. Quot if anything happened to him he was concerned that i would never let his daughter forget him. That was his biggest thing Quot said Shermer 26. Sandl Voynow a marketing director with City colleges of Chicago in Europe said the 12th aviation brigade rear detachment troops have pitched in to help with whatever problems the spouses May face. She took advantage of that offer when her car broke Down. Normally her husband chief warrant officer 1 Dave Voynow dealt with the car repairs. Quot someone from his company came and repaired the car at 6 30 in the morning on his Way to work. It was really super of him Quot Voynow said. The new York native had two complaints about life since her husband headed South the flow of letters is spotty and there is no regular Telephone system set up. Quot its been five weeks and i Haven t had a phone Call. It s just ridiculous Quot she said. To Cope with her time alone Voynow 24, spends much of it Quot meandering around the pm window shopping. Buying stuff for before her husband left in september Voynow found it very hard when his unit s scheduled departure was called off three or four times. It was a lot of havoc a the tears that Felt the misunderstandings and the last dinners Quot Voynow said. Quot could you Tell him t miss him terribly a she asked. On the Day her husband finally did leave for saudi Arabia Voynow received a phone Call at work saying that her husbands unit was deploying and that she should t drive to Fin then army air Field near Mainz because she could t make it in time. She went anyway. Quot i made it a of course i did Quot she said. Arriving in time did t help much in the Case of Lisa and sgt. Kenneth Smith. Quot i could t even hug him because tie had All his gear on. There was no room Quot Smith said. Smith 25, a Field representative for City colleges said she has been paying More attention to world affairs since she arrived in Germany two years ago. Quot in the states you re pretty much hidden from what s happening. Over Here its right in your face a she said. While some wives have children to cuddle in moments of need Samantha Woodward gets her wet kisses from Spaz her lovable pekingese. Quot it s very lonely without having children. I Only have Spaz Quot said Woodward the wife of 1 St it. Charles Woodward. Quot we just have to keep reminding ourselves that this is their Job. This is what they train she said that one of the boxes she sent to her husband was opened apparently checked by the saudis for customs violations. Quot i Don t appreciate their ripping our boxes open and taking the customs form so her husband does no to know what s in it. That upset me a Woodward said. Otherwise Woodward 24, believes she has been taking the separation Well. Quot seeing the Guys on to saying hello to their family really gets to me. It gives me Goose bumps Quot she said. To counter her loneliness Woodward tries to stay Busy. She travels strolls downtown goes on Volks marches and recently joined the Wiesbaden ski club with several other wives. It s when Woodward is at Home that she misses her husband the most. Quot he s the perfect housewife a she said. Quot he normally Cooks dinner because he likes the four food groups and ill just stick a pizza in the oven. A the needs to hurry and get Home before we starve to a. _ a amps Dov Didi above Tiffany Castillo enjoys a rids on a swing As her Mother Theresa Castillo watches. Her brother 7-month-old Nicholas is named after her dad spec. Nicholas Castillo who is on duty in saudi Arabia. High Alice Potenza places a photograph of her husband 1s u Robert Potenza near their new baby daughter. At right in photo is Alices sister Susan Utera. Page 14 the stars and stripes ouch Ariah Street 2, at left lets her dad David Sheet know he lacks the gentle touch As he Combs her hair. Hair combing is just one of the Many duties Street has had to assume since his wife sgt. Bettyann Street deployed to saudi Arabia. Going to be or mom saturday novel t990 a amps Gary Pomeroy the husbands. A amps Gary Pomeroy 2 Jesse Harris in top photo pitches in at Yard cleanup. He his dad Elbert Harris above sister Lakelsha and brother Anthony Are on their own while mom spec. Beverly Harris is in saudi Arabia. I used from Page 13 a. F Beans and aver a civilian accountant at the Oakland naval Center said he still had plenty to learn and no but to be a Quick study. He now knows How to braid Gater s hair How to fix dinner one handed with a 1 his hip and How to figure out whether a fussy baby r hungry. A so knows not to Dawdle at work when it is time to the children at the baby Sitter and not to a tin ate when there is laundry to fold because the pile niger tomorrow. He knows that a there Are nights Gnu want to collapse but you can to Quot and he has a new respect for his wife and working mothers in and vows that the first thing he will do when comes Home is to say thank you. De real big when i married into this situation and of body i could handle it Quot Laver said. Quot Well now i at the responsibilities Arentt just to love Honor and cherish. You May also have to be or. women going off to War could be a More powerful consciousness Raiser than women succeeding in More workaday jobs said rep. Patricia Schroeder a Colorado Democrat who is a senior member of the House armed services committee and a proponent of Federal legislation to extend child care and Grant leave to parents of newborns. Quot the men Are finding out that it is easier to be a Brave. Soul than a tender of the Hearth Quot Schroeder said. Quot the devaluation of women a work in this society a maybe this will help change that. And child care a maybe it will Stop being just a women s the fathers agree that they cannot duplicate their wives nurturing Quot mom is the provider of the Bandage the Glass of milk on a Day to Day basis Quot said James Meuller who his caring for a 10-year-old son and a 13-year-old daughter because wife Alison a nurse is a lieutenant commander on the mercy. A i done to care How close you Are to your kids you re still not saturday november 3,1990 continued from Page 13 Street a truck Driver with the aviation brigade departed on sept. 7. At that time mom Laid Down the Law to Zachariah 6, and Ariah 2. Quot mind dad Quot Zachariah said he was told. David Street appreciates the support but being around the children so much is still not without its Side effects Quot in a the family Nintendo Champion Quot he said. Although he a always been Active in the household chores Street a civilian Mechanic at the Wiesbaden a motor Pool is venturing into one new area a Bills. He did t tangle much with the family financial responsibilities before Bettyann left but he s learning. A that s a Job a he said. Laundry was about the Only shared task that David did no to like. Quot we took turns doing the laundry,1 he said. Quot sometimes i would get out of it by going to work on the the car is a 1969 Chevelle that David has been refurbishing inside and out and top to Bottom for the past three years. This includes a rebuilt transmission and engine. He used to spend three or four nights a week on the car but now he knows it must wait Street admits that his role of round the clock Parent was difficult to accept at first Quot in a Way it bothered me that she wore the Blu pants in the family Quot he said but now he says he revels in his responsibilities. And he appreciates More than Ever the partner who is missing. When she returns there will be a new sewing machine waiting for her. Quot go ahead and print it Quot he said. Quot she won t believe it. In be been saying it a Long for spec. Beverly Harris and her husband Elbert desert shield is the latest chapter in what is getting to be a Long Story of separation. Beverly a Supply specialist with the brigade transferred to Germany from fort Hood Texas in March. Her husband along with children Lekeisha 5, Jesse 3, and Anthony 19 months moved to Beverly s parents Home in Montezuma a. Until government housing became available in Germany. Dad and the three children arrived on aug. 24, Beverly departed for saudi Arabia on sept. 18. Quot i never realized How much help her parents had been Quot Elbert said. Quot just being in a strange land without relatives and friends a if i d had a few More More months Here it would have been the family a household goods Haven t arrived yet but the family car arrived last week. Now at least the family can go to Church and make two daily outings to the Wiesbaden Mai room. Quot i have received three letters so far a he noted. Quot it s really rough. Every step i take the kids take it with and that s about it for the social life. Quot i be been Reading the paper and seeing on to How they the troops in the Gulf need to be Given ramp a Quot he said noting that he too could use a Little rest and relaxation. Quot their morale can t be any worse than the stars and stripes a a a Page 15
