European Stars and Stripes (Newspaper) - November 3, 1990, Darmstadt, Hesse                                Operation desert shield the wive by Ron Mckinney staff writer Robert Potenza could not be with his wife Alice when she gave birth to their first child on oct. 23. The first lieutenant deployed to operation desert shield on sept. 17 with the 12th aviation brigade. But his wife kept a photograph of him near her Hospital bed in Wiesbaden Germany. Early in life Victoria Ann Quot tory had a glimpse of dad. The birth and separation combined for some bittersweet memories for the lieutenant and his wife. Quot he was awfully excited about it but he was sad too a said Alice Potenza who received a phone Call that Day left behind from her husband in saudi Arabia. Potenza is one of several Hundred family members in the Mainz Wiesbaden area who have remained in Germany while their spouses Are in saudi Arabia. Unlike the families left behind in the United states Many have no relatives or lifetime friends to turn to during a crisis. Instead they be turned to one another with open minds and warm hearts. Potenza 25, said she never considered leaving the Mainz suburb of Sinsheim her Home of More than two years to have the baby in the United states. Quot i think that Hurt a few people Back there. But this is Home to me a she said. 1 Potenza who does t drive said her phone was constantly ringing As fellow wives checked in with her. Ultimately her older sister Susan Utera flew in from Boston to be at her Side. But Utera complains that her Sisters fierce Independence left her with Little to do Durino the visit. Quot she does no to even let me carry the grocery bags in which i done to mind except that everyone keeps looking at me like in a a mean person Quot Utera said. Potenza was t always so Strong. When her husband told her that his unit was deploying to saudi Arabia she cried. Quot it was probably the worst Day in be had since being Here Quot she said. Quot but i had to pull myself together for him. I had to make sure he knew i would be  Potenza s pregnancy helped Many of the wives occupy their minds with something other than the Middle East crisis said Jean Graves another wife whose continued on Page 14 the husband by Gary Pomeroy staff writer the Knudson family was thrust into the military s world of role reversal Courtesy of operation desert shield. But sgt. 1 St class Tim a Knudson was deprived of his rite of passage the traditional goodbye scene. A Quot a Day before wife Debra a departure Knudson got Lett behind at Rhein main a by the Soldier who was supposed to drive him Home. Meanwhile Debra a report ame was moved up to 9 . That Day. He did no to find a ride Home until 9 30 . They passed each other on the autobahn. The next Day he received a phone Call from a sergeant in the unit who had seen Debra before she left. Quot just Tell my husband this is a Crock a the sergeant relayed to Knudson. Knudson a first message from his wife was a Mars radio Gram received on sept. 25,11 Days after her departure. A i guess by now you know i m gone Quot she said Quot love you  the Knudson and at least two other Wiesbaden families entered the realm of equal Opportunity deployment when she not he headed off to the Gulf with other members of the 12th aviation brigade. Tim Knudson admits having Felt a Little out of place when he Learned that his asthma condition would prevent him from going. A i was geared to go Quot he said. Quot you re in the service to serve your country but then you can to because of a medical  although Knudson has become accustomed to deployments during his 20 years in the army he and his wife Are virtual newlyweds who tied the knot less than two years ago. He plays Down the separation by saying that his biggest Challenge now is cooking for one. The Knudson both army Cooks Are accustomed to cooking in batches of 100. Otherwise Knudson has settled in to wait with his collection of Elvis Presley videos. Quot Deb is not a big fan of his Quot he said adding that his favorite Elvis movie doubles As a greeting to his wife Quot Loving  a for another Wiesbaden family the streets the goodbye scene was a Little better organized. Sgt. Bettyann continued on Page 15 to be or. Mom by Jane Gross new York times since the Navy Hospital ship mercy set sail More than two months ago Eric Laver has been both father and Mother to his children juggling the demands of work and family and sorting through conflicting feelings of anger and Pride about a wife who volunteered for duty in the persian Gulf. Th0lntr5wif,carmen�?~ medical corpsman stationed at Ine Oak Knoll naval Hospital in Oakland calif., is one of Ino Sands of women deployed in the Middle East Tho can women have taken part in armed conflicts since be a Uthe revolutionary War mostly As nurses but in these numbers or in such a wide variety of jobs a and never with so Many husbands and children left behind to fend for themselves. If the number of women going to the Gulf is a measure of Equality and changing sex roles the families left to Cope without them show that the sexes Are still far from equal. Men left behind like Laver said they were unaware until their wives left How inequitable the child rearing tasks were divided and were dumbstruck by How hard it was to work and run a household at the same time. From the beginning of the deployment the goodbyes in this military crisis have looked different than Ever before with uniformed women waving smartly while men and children weep. While women Are still barred from combat they now make up 11 percent of the armed forces up from 2 percent in 1973 when the draft was abolished. No statistics Are kept that would show How Many Are mothers but the number is substantial. In the persian Gulf the women Arm attack planes direct missiles operate Supply lines and face the threat of attack by chemical weapons. Their husbands meanwhile Are at Home reassuring frightened children that Mommy will be Back soon and taking photographs of a toddlers first step to mail to the front. M since these Are two career families the men know what they Are doing around the House. Laver for instance knew How to Cook and clean before his wife a sudden departure. His apartment is spotless and his children Tara Lynn who is 3, and David 6 months old Are Quot not continued on Page 15 saturday november 3, 1990 the stars and stripes Page 13