European Stars and Stripes (Newspaper) - December 2, 1990, Darmstadt, Hesse                                Observation some easy ways to cosmic balance Michael Mcgee guest columnist ver wonder where most of the world s problems come from Ever think abot t Why things seem to be or get out  More or less All by their selves la or Why the balance sometimes gets tilted even just for the briefest of moments the answer lies Over there in the cosmic Domain that encompasses concepts like balance. Order and randomness. When the balance gets tilted out of whack it is usually because randomness has temporarily gotten the upper hand Over order. Or vice versa. That happens in big ways. Like global warming. Like Hussein a rapacious invasion of Little defenceless Kuwait. Like with the savings and loan crisis. Maybe even Gene therapy fails into this cat Emoiy. When we Start consciously altering our Dan Structure the balance could be in serious jeopardy. Maybe. Being a human Mote on this Vock of a planet i \ worry about the balance order and randomness in very Smalt ways. I believe that i can maintain balance in my life and in others with the proper mixing of order and randomness. Randomness in proper balance is Best illustrated by a party. But it has to be the right kind of party. We Veall been to the wrong kind. The stand up cocktail things where everyone is invited. And you have to Wear Slacks maybe even a tie. Ugh the edibles Are something called a Finger foods and Are More processed than data. The wine comes in a screw top bottle the Bourbon is cheap and peo pie gasp and whisper among their tight Assad selves if you drink your booze neat or with Only a couple of ice cubes. You spend the evening watch g everyone suck up to the Boss and his wife. You drink your drink slowly wander from knot to knot of people you probably Don t want to know and wonder when the Gates to Freedom will open. Then if you re unlucky your wife has found what she thinks is a meaningful discussion. You re faced with staying in Purgatory and silently drinking cheap Bourbon or leaving alone. A proper party is spontaneous usually it starts out very Small. And its totally unintentional. Two or three people on the Back deck. With a couple of Beers and a Sun that has begun to think about dipping Down behind the horizon. Someone audibly opines about getting so and so Over for a Beer. Pretty soon a whirring blender is foun Taining marguerites All Over the Kitchen floor. A pot of leftover Spaghetti from Down the Street is perking on the stove. Frito and canned bean dip. Smoked oysters out of a can. Real olives that someone hauled Back from Athens. A half gluon bottle of Jack Daniels standing mutely among Heap plastic ice trays in various states of fill. Three or four different kinds of Good Beer. There a a cassette cd player eclectically loaded with tunes by Jerry Lee Lewis the beatles guns and Boses Linda Ronstadt Judas priest the Cowboy junkies journey and Jeff Healey. The most formally dressed person has on clean jeans and new re Cooks. There Are no Bosses and no one cares about the Bossy a wife. There a a waiting line at All three bathrooms. Someone has had to run Down the Street for a resupply of toilet paper. It goes Strong until 3 or 4 in the morning. Then the silent blender and empty bottle of Jack Daniels get shoved aside on the Kitchen counter and breakfast gets cranked up you make it to bed about 6 or 7, just As the Sun is thinking about pecking Over the Eastern horizon. Get up around 2 or 3 in the afternoon. Very quickly you re Back on the Back deck swearing to god Buddha and Allah that you la never do it again. That a a party. Spontaneous. Random. Dangerous. But in bal acc. A a a. Maintaining order is important too. Like in the proper use of condiments. You know Mustard Mayonnaise and Ketchup. In a orderly world Mustard is reserved for hot dogs. Mayo belongs on hamburger buns. And Ketchup is strictly reserved for French Fries. Every time some nose picking Crumb snatching Rug rat demands and gets Ketchup on a hot dog the planets slip just a Little bit More out of Orbital alignment. Every time some pimple faced see Ond string Junior High school tight end puts Mustard on his hamburger Bun the space time continuum warps for two or three nanoseconds. And every time some neophyte Wanna be a european gourmet puts Mayo on French Fries god gets an itch on the Back of his neck. Each of us can help maintain the cosmic bal acc. Existentially each of us i supposed to do that. Even the Dalai Lama would Tell you to turn Down invitations to planned parties and never Ever put Ketchup on a hot dog. How hard can it be u. Col Michael l Mcgee la commander of 6lh in 6lh inf in Bamberg Germany. Feedback what has been the greatest adjustment to living in Europe staff sgt. John Kannady military traffic management cored Felixstowe England getting used to the Laid Back culture. The american culture is so fast moving but the British culture is More Laid Back. It s a slower Pace of life. Jim us?"1 a 1 a a a a a a Kelly rus blow morale welfare and recreation office at Lindsey a Wiesbaden Germany shopping hours Are difficult. Its hard to shop because i work. Shopping at the cafes Pis Claustrophobic there Are so Many people. I just can to shop there anymore. Evelyn Dejesus Secretary at Dodds regional office at Lindsey a Wiesbaden Germany the culture is so different. The language is the first problem and driving is also very difficult at first because of the traffic signs on the autobahn i get kind of scared but its of staff sgt Heriberto Collazo 584th trans pet military traffic management cored Felixstowe England the financial Side of living in England has been the toughest adjustment. The Dollar Hasni to been too Strong against the Pound. Us Dull Sale teacher at Wetzel elementary school Baum older Germany i Haven to made any big adjustments i have relatives Here. The devaluation of the Dollar has been the biggest adjustment that and stairwell living. Compiled by stars and stripes staff december 2.1990 sunday to plus Page 3