European Stars and Stripes (Newspaper) - February 25, 1991, Darmstadt, Hesse Ann Landers dear readers one thing i have Learned from writing this column is that no matter How weird something May seem to me there Are others who hold a totally different Point of View. For example a photographing deceased family members in the Cas. Ket a a a 4, \ a upset in Michigan wrote to say that she was appalled when her Cousin sent several pictures of a deceased relative lying in a Satin lined casket with funeral wreaths All around. I said that i shared her sentiments and suggested she put the Pic a tires away and forget about them. V since that column appeared i have received nearly a thousand Fetters in support of taking such pictures. If you a like to look Over my shoulder be his guest from. Evansville ind when my Mother passed away from lung cancer five years ago i was shocked and appalled to see my Niece taking pictures of her in the casket. I thought it was insensitive and disrespectful but i said nothing. The following week my Niece brought the pictures to my Home. I thanked her politely and put them away without opening the envelope. Several months later 1 ran across the envelope stuck Between two books and decided to open it. 1 had forgotten How Beautiful my Mother was. Those months in the Hospital were so filled with pain and suffering that my last memories of the dear woman Tore at my soul. Those pictures were a great Comfort Ann 1 am so Happy 1 have them. Wayne. Neb we last our baby daughter at birth. She was full term perfectly formed and Beautiful. My dear Abby dear Abby your correspondent a unfinished business a attended a friends funeral and was a dismayed to learn that the family had decided to have a closed coffin burial a thereby denying a visual Farewell and the Opportunity to better Cope with reality. As you rightly pointed out the next of Kin have the final say in such matters. A word of amplification the open casket funeral is unique to the United states and Canada. In no other country is the bizarre ritual of a viewing Quot the deceased a part of any funeral service. In the 1920s, a Public relations spokesman for the funeral Industry coined the phrase a Beautiful memory pictures to describe the embalmed and Pretti fied cadaver in a suitably costly casket. The funeral Industry has Long tried to convince the Public that a a viewing is essential to what they arc pleased to Call a grief therapy a swallowed whole by the likes of a unfinished if that is so How come it in t practice in England France Germany Etc to the contrary an English Jurist wrote that a Public exhibition of an embalmed body As that of Lenire in Moscow would in England be consumed a revolting monday february 25. 1991 Mother asked me if i wanted her to take a picture of the baby before they lowered the lid of the casket. Isaid a no. Please Don my Mother respected my wishes but now i a regret terribly that i did t give her permission to do it. Photographs Are a wonderful Way to memories alive forever. If you print my letter just sign it Cheryl. White Plains . My wife and i were married nearly 50 years when she passed away Mary was a pretty woman but for some reason she did not photograph Well. Consequently she avoided the camera and hid whenever family photos were taken. When Mary passed away the mortician did such a wonderful Job that 1 asked my son to take a picture of his dear Mother As she Lay in the casket with a in her hand. That photo turned out to be the Best one Over taken of wife arid i w Oul Dnn to Trade it for a Mil lion dollars. Modesto Raofi i did no to take any pictures of my Mother just before the funeral service and now in a sorry. My last memories of her were agonizing she was a living Skeleton and weighed less than 70 pounds Lieh she died. I wanted a closed casket but the mortician assured me he could make her a and he did. How i wish i had a picture of her As she looked a then. /. A a a a a a Biloxi miss in the deep South people save for their funerals nearly All their lives even if it s a Dollar or two out of every paycheck. My Kinfolk were All buried in outfits that were much fancier than what they could afford when they were living. We make it a practice to take pictures of ail our relatives in their coffins. They looked better dead and dressed up than they Ever looked when they were alive and in their work clothes. Creators Syndicate. A a a a spectacle and therefore a Public nuisance. Readers looking for a simple and inexpensive funeral should write to the Continental association of funeral and memorial societies an educational non profit organization with affiliates in most major cities. The organization can provide information on dignified Low Cost funerals. The address 7910 Wood Mont ave., be Thesda my 20814. A. A a Jessica m1tford author of a the american Way of death a dear Jessica m1tford How Well i remember the Bombshell your Book Ere died in 1963. A the american Way of death Rode the Best seller list for a year. And 1n its Wake no Pun intended was spawned a new generation of americans who would Bury their loved ones with dignified Low Cost funerals without feelings of guilt or embarrassment. Previously too Many poor people went into debt for lavish expensive funerals because they were emotionally stressed at the time and Felt that the amount of Money they spent on their final Farewell Yves an indication of How much they valued the deceased. Utter Balderdash c United press Syndicate. A. Quibble hmm t. I Don t wow of rw5 doctors Are &et17n& More a Csc a Zed Quot cd to m e d i Ca l Center the stars and stripes today a crossword Page 19 across 1 top rated combat Pilot 4 Endio amp Lor Hosier count 7 make i 11 dress 13 Mauna a 14 actors quest 15 Arab ruler 16 Campaign ammo 17 Cote. 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