European Stars and Stripes (Newspaper) - March 4, 1991, Darmstadt, Hesse                                Ease the pain continued from Page 14 normally go can t do the things they Are accustomed to a can t have the Freedom of going out on their own.  a. A a a a a a a a Quot it impacts on children in a Way they can t possibly. Understand Quot Jenkes said. A they think they re being . A a a 1 a a. A a a a. A a a Sandy Vogel 27, the wife of a deployed air Force sergeant from Raf Mildenhall England agrees. A Quot just because one Parent is gone does t mean that life should Stop Quot said Vogel whose husband is on his third deployment to the Gulf. A i kept thinking Well when he gets Home Well do this and Well do that a but i can t think Fiat Way. We Cap still do fun things Quot she said. Wells  Counselor also warns. Against disrupting the children s lives keeping Thema Honroe from school Lor example Only adds to the. Confusion and fear she said. A. A. ,. = a a Quot the changes around them Are enough. You. Should t a add to their anxiety Quot she said a. A. Finally the experts advise parents should look to other adults for  their youngsters children can. Help a Parent keep bus said map Bill Astley the director of the family support Center at Raf Mildenhall England 0 but Quot kids need to be  a a a. Pupils at Torrejon elementary school in Spati prepare messages for Quot a tree of love Quot they made and sent to their moms and dads of the 401st tac fighter Wing who Are serving in the Gulf  military mothers stay with their children by the stars and stripes a a a. A a a. A. A it m is wars have always meant teary goodbyes s la r and painful separations for military families but operation desert storm has brought w w new and disturbing farewells mothers a. Leaving their Newborn babies Young children waving goodbye to both parents single parents frantically seeking Long term care for their youngsters. A and these poignant images have fuelled the ongoing debate about mothers roles in combat. A i / a Newsweek poll showed that americans Are Evenol divided on the question of whether mothers in the military should be Able to refuse assignments that Jake them away from their  sen. John Heinz ripa., and rep Barbara Boxer a Calif have introduced legislation that would exempt one. Parent from combat duty in two Soldier families. A a a readers action Lin information Gap on travel orders i flew from the United states to Germany to join my husband before his departure to the Middle East. I left two Days before my orders arrived at our stateside _ address. I Lew dec. 5 and my orders gave me permission dec. 7. A. A. Quot .1 was fully aware that my airline flight would not be reimbursed. However i was totally unaware that i would forfeit my command sponsorship overseas housing a allowance and temporary lodging allowance nowhere. Does it state on my orders or my husband s orders that these penalties would take place. A when i did receive my orders they simply stated. A Quot reimbursement is not authorized if family member s travel before the effective  in addition the orders state the following Quot reimbursement is limited to Cost of. Ticket or. Mac rate whichever is  a a a a. A a a  does not state command sponsorship overseas housing allowance and temporary lodging a allowance will be forfeited in the event the family member leaves before the effective Date. Had i known this would take place i would never have flown before the Given Date on the orders please understand with the Middle East crisis i was quite impatient and desired to see my husband before ins a. Quot Quot i can understand the concern Quot said Pat Jenkes a  the association of Young children Quot Europe. Quot its something military policy makers should work out. In terms of the. Child who May be left Here in Germany that May be  that needs looking into How to help those children and families. A a a a Quot it must be really hard to have somebody else s child acting out emotionally Quot Jenkes said. Quot maybe you Don t a have any children maybe yours Are Fine because both you and your  there but someone else ingoing through All this emotional turmoil. Its wonderful that people have been so generous offering their Homes and lives to these . Children of soldiers Aren t the. Only ones suffering paediatrician t. Berry Brazezton thinks youngsters across the United states have been deeply troubled by the fighting. A a of. A a a in. An  Quot Brazezton departure i was More than willing . For my own ,. Flight. A a a a a a. A a a a a. A. A our financial department was very helpful. I did get my command sponsorship Back As Well As Oha. All of this could have been avoided. Why was this pertinent / information not in my orders or my husbands Why was my husband not briefed by somebody on this subject. How Many family members have made this same a costly mistake a a _ a a Karrie l. Rue Aschaffenbur Germany James w. Owens chief sponsorship Emp Branch personnel movement div he Usa eur replies a a a. 77.,. A a Quot a 7 your inquiry has helped us identify some areas where we can expand or clarify1 travel information provided to soldiers and families and reduce the possibility of similar situations in the future. A a a Quot �., a a. Your desire to arrive in Germany As soon As possible is understandable. The Date travel is authorized is based on the Date that housing will be available to you and your  the message sent to the installation a. Transportation office in the United states authorized you to travel not earlier than dec. 7 the message contained a statement that advised if travel was performed prior to the Date stated a the message reimbursement would  authorized this restriction should have been Quot conveyed to you by the Ito. A 7 the author of child care books a newspaper columnist for the new York times Syndicate and a contributing a editor  Circle Magazine endorsed the proposed legislation. A a. To make it easier on the children of servicemen and women Quot there a one thing to really fighting for a and i think we ought to All be fighting for and that is Quot. A compassionate reassignment Quot Brazezton. Said. Quot for mothers that s a critical thing to think about. T think the children should come first women second. I know that women Are feeling that it s a women a Issue to be treated like men in this War. To have the right to perform duties that up to now have been performed by men. A Quot but it should t be a women a Issue Quot Brazezton said. Quot it should be a woman s Choice if she has Small children about whether she. Really wants to go there or whether she  be reassigned within reach of that family a in a Way that did t undermine her . Contributing to this report the Newyork times. A a after your arrival overseas command sponsorship should have been requested which authorizes the Quot a ,. Payment of  allowance. There was a never an entitlement for payment of temporary lodging. Allowance because travel could not commence before �?T7 the Date housing was available. A a first personnel. Come publishes a travel Gram which is. A pamphlet containing helpful topics for soldiers and. A families relocating to a new assignment in Europe. It is t mailed As part of an information packet to All  a pinpoint assignment to Germany and other locations in a Europe in the next edition of the travel Gram we will a expand the information provided to include clarification of travel entitlements. If you have further questions please Call ets 379-7770 or 7778. To write us a readers  is the readers Quot court of last resort Quot striving to answer some of the questions _ about life overseas in a military environment or questions about policies and guidelines when other avenues for answers Are not readily available. If you have a question and Don t know where to turn for the answer write to readers action line co the stars and stripes. Apo 0921 b42t 1, All letters must be. Signed and preferences Wolf be Given to those seeking information of general interest to our readers. 7 a. A Page 16 the stars and stripes monday March 4, 1991