European Stars and Stripes (Newspaper) - April 07, 1991, Darmstadt, Hesse                                Why ants and parents done to like science  Ridder newspaper its getting late on a school night but in a not letting my son go to bed yet because there a serious work to be done. A Robert a in a saying in a firm voice. A come to the Kitchen tight now and blow dry the ant a we have a Large ant about the size of a mature Raccoon standing on our Kitchen counter. In fact it looks kind of like a Raccoon or  a mutant lobster. We made the ant out of papier Mach a substance you create by mixing flour and water and newspapers together into a Slimy goop that drips Down and gets licked up by your dogs who operate on the Wise survival principle that you should immediately cat everything that a Falls onto the Kitchen floor because if it turns out not to be food you can always throw it up later. The ant needless to say is part of a science fair project. We need a big ant to illustrate an important scientific concept the same concept that is illustrated by All science fair project is namely a look i did a science fair project a i know How we can solve our National crisis in educational funding whenever the schools needed Money they could Send a letter to All the parents saying a give us a contribution right now or we re going to hold a science  they a raise billions. Our science fair project is due tomorrow but the ant is still wet so we re using a hair dryer on if. It does no to look like one of those Alert Businesslike Quot can do ants that you see striding briskly around. V it looks depressed like an ant that has just been informed that All 86,932inembcrs of its immediate family were crushed while attempting to lift a Tootsie Roll. While Robert is drying the ant i get a flashlight and go outside to examine the Experiment portion of our project which is entitled a wants and junk  on our Back Fence we put up a Banner that says in 8-Inch-High letters Quot Wel. Come  under this is a piece of cardboard with the following snack substances scientifically arranged on it potato chips a spicy beef stick a doughnut a snickers Candy bar chocolate filled cookies cheer doodles Cocoa Kris pies and screaming yellow  figured this Experiment would attract ants from As far away As Indonesia and wed note which junk foods they preferred and this would prove our Basic scientific Point a look i did a science fair project a. Of course you Veteran parents know what actually happened the ants did no to show up. Nature has a strict Rule against cooperating with science fair projects. So when the ants saw our Banner they said a nah hah a science fair project time for us to act in a totally unnatural manner and stay away from the food a the irony is i knew where some ants were in. My office. They live in one of the electrical outlets i so c them going in there All Day Long. I think maybe they re eating electrons which makes me nervous. I seriously considered capturing one of the office ants and carrying it out to the science Experiment and if necessary giving it Broad hints about what to do a Yum snickers a. But i was concerned that if i did this the ants might  on me and every time they got hungry they a crawl onto my desk and threaten to give me electrical stings if i did no to carry them to a snack a a. A a a a a a. A a. Fortunately some real outdoor ants finally discovered our Experiment and we were Able to observe their behaviour at close Range. 1 had been a o led to believe by. Countless Public television nature shows that ants Are very organized with the Colony divided into specialized jobs such As drones workers fighters Bankers consultants Etc All working together with High efficiency precision. But the ants that showed up at our Experiment were total morons. You a watch one and it would sprint off in a random direction. Sometimes it would sprint Back sometimes it would sprint to another Cocoa Kris Pic and act surprised again. But it never seemed to do anything. There were thousands of ants behaving this Way and every single time two of them met they a both Stop and Exchange a High fives with their antennae along with i assume some kind of ant pleasantries a Chi Bob a a no in a Bill Quot a sorry you look just like Bob a. This was re pea cd millions o f times. I watched these ants for two Days and they accomplished nothing. It was exactly like Highway construction. It  have surprised me if some ants started waving Orange flags to direct other insects around the area. V a a Quot Quot a a a. A but at least there were ants which meant we could do our project and get our results. Id Tell you what they were but i really think you should do your own work. That a the whole Point of a science fair As i keep telling my son who has gone to bed leaving me to finish blow drying the ant. A y a petr1cic Belgrade Yugoslavia o o to a a it n q 3. No kidding most popular names for dogs in America 1. Lady 2. King 3. Duke a 4. Peppy 5. Prince 6. Pepper 7. Snoopy 8. Princess 9. Heidi source guinness Booko names 1989 a Only countries to reject the metric system a Liberia. A. Quot a Myanmar Burma United states source american National metric Council Quot a Collins London a a England to of a o s o a i Page 24 a sunday april 7, 1991