European Stars and Stripes (Newspaper) - August 27, 1991, Darmstadt, Hesse                                Coping with by Susan Campbell the Hartford courant most every night for the past two months Jake Michaud of Hartford has sat Down to a hot game of chutes and ladders with his 4-year-l old daughter Tracy. The nightly games started out As a Good Way to spend time with his daughter. Now he is playing out of a sense of parental guilt. He Hales the nightly tussle a not because he gets soundly trounced or anything but because Tracy cheats _ or rather Tracy creatively approaches the rules and makes them her own. And that worries her father. Quot i want her to play by the rules but she wants to go up the chutes and Down the ladders or she wants to ignore the spinner and move Only to the ladder  he thinks a moment. Quot does this sound weird that i worry about this Quot funny How the makers of chutes and ladders probably never realized just How much angst their brightly coloured Board could cause. Same with the people who brought you operation Candy land parch Eesi battleship monopoly or any other Board game favored by the younger set whatever the Endeavor if you have sat Down to play a game with a 4-or 5-year-old lately you have come upon a great truth. A readers action line kids cheat. They also lie and you As a Parent Are left with a bit of a dilemma. Do you insist that your children play by the rules and then trounce them every single time what does that do for their self esteem or do you allow a Little leeway a or a lot of leeway a and let the children win and what does that do for their attitudes toward winning and losing much of the decision rests in the reason you play with your children in the first place. Quot you play because you want to have fun with the kids you want them to learn some skills improve their a attention Span and share Quot said Jane Richards Jones program director of creative parenting in new Britain Conn. A a we tried with our son then age 3 to gel him to pass the Ball Back and Forth and he would make up games that involved throwing it Over our Heads and Over the roof Quot she said. And that worried her because when her son grew up would t he have a hard time playing with his Peers but Richards Jones knows that strict adherence to rules in play is not something most younger kids relish a or even do Well especially the preschoolers. Preschoolers hate to lose. And they Are the epitome of free form As children enter school however they begin to understand that rules have to be followed she said Quot As they push on toward 7, they have a growing ethical sense they done to like lying and cheating and they begin to develop a better sense for rules. By the time they Are 9, they Are very concerned with  Rick Sadler clinical director of the child guidance clinic at child amp family services in Hartford said parents should remember there is a world of difference Between play and games. A game is an interaction with specified rules. Play is whatever comes to mind at the time. Quot Little children almost always play and Arentt capable of games Quot Sadler said. Quot Between the Ages of 5 and 8, most children want to turn a game into just  depending on the child s age Sadler suggests the parents play with the child and let the younger child make the rules a All the while acknowledging that they Are no longer playing by the games rules. Quot they can say a of we Are no longer playing chutes and ladders. It s Fine to do it this other creative Way Quot he said. Another option is to avoid Board games As much As possible and let the child make up a game. Listening to their own rules a the outlining of which often takes longer than the actual game a can be entertainment enough. Quot pretend like you re a monster and i come in to your House and you done to have any cookies and i ask for some, dependents and overpayment Here a another problem associated with operation desert storm. Those of us stationed at in Ciurlik a Turkey were Quot requested to evacuate our dependents on Jan. 17. Those who initially refused were threatened until most gave in. Eventually Only about 200 dependents were left. Now we find out too late our dependents were overpaid thousands of dollars finance tells me i m responsible even though i was 10,000 Miles away from where the mistake was made. Even though my dependent made an honest Effort to Check out the situation and verify that the funds were Correct As usual the air Force made mistakes and the air Force is not responsible. No one knew what was going on. There was no Good source of information on the evacuation for us sponsors. Even our own base paper was full of misinformation and retractions. We were never briefed on the per diem. After the evacuation i went to finance and was told a Little Block marked Quot emergency evacuation allowance Quot meant per diem. Our dependents weren t exactly welcomed wherever they went either. They were denied medical care and help from other support activities. They were told they weren t wanted. What s the Point in that does no to the air Force Lake care of its own anymore t Don t care where i m stationed or what is going on. I have participated in my last Neo evacuation 1  be Able to a lord another one and besides i d rather keep my family with me and take Thal Chance than Send them to a place where they Aren t wanted Marie h. Pintar in Ciurlik a Turkey Elt. Col. Samuel a. Wall comptroller in Ciurlik a Turkey replies unfortunately some dependents were advanced too much at their Safe Haven locations and upon filing their Linal travel voucher settlement owed Money to the government. Most finance offices at the Safe Haven locations tried to ensure the families were amply provided for while several families did owe $1,000 or More they were each Given an Opportunity to file a remission of the debt for due cause or Given extended repayment plans at the election of the member. Members at in Ciurlik were allowed to live free in their Homes plus Given Basic allowance for quarters family separation allowances imminent danger pay a monthly tax free income for enlisted personnel or $500 monthly tax free deduction for officers. The dependents were paid per diem daily plus lodging for each individual when applicable and free travel to and from the Safe Haven with a 1,000-Pound moving allowance. The member was allowed to choose any Safe Haven he or she wished. Likewise benefits were extended to june 15 to allow any children to finish school. In Ciurlik finance office published a four Page brochure on Jan. 31 and March 30 to give each in Ciurlik member a detailed explanation of allowances As approved at the time of publication. These brochures were placed in every Post office Box at the base. Every returning family was briefed upon return and special weekly individual voucher counselling was conducted. Additionally the base newspaper covered allowances and questions in the feb. 8 and april 12 issues. In Ciurlik command staff was briefed in january and february on allowances. A concerted Effort was made by the command staff to achieve All the benefits possible for All dependents. As of june 20 each family has received an average $4,400. In february Safe sent out messages to ail finance offices alerting them to the evacuation allowances. Also in Ciurlik printed the authorization message and the joint travel regulation application on the Back of each order to assist paying finance offices worldwide. While every Effort was made by in Ciurlik personnel to ease this traumatic relocation we do regret that some disappointments did occur. We were All affected by these events and Hope Well never have to repeat such experiences again. Reservist still in Gulf fears loss of Job it i be been in the Arkansas National guard Tor 10 years. I m currently in the persian Gulf. I was called to duty for 180 Days. My unit returned after 100 Days but i volunteered to work three to four months and be a super cargo handler on a ship Back to the state the problem is my Boss called my wife and said that he could not hold my Job open for me any More because he thought i would be Back with my unit. Can my Boss do this to me i m just trying to serve my country As Best j can. I be also have run into this problem a few times before even just serving a summer Camp two weeks Long. My Boss then Laid me off or said we Don t need you anymore this has happened on the last three jobs i be had in 10 years. Sgt. David Woods operation desert storm a a Denis a. Keating marketing and advertising office office of the Deputy chief of staff for personnel department of the army replies members of the National guard Are covered by the reemployment rights act which requires that employers re employ reservists called to Active duty. In addition a Soldier who volunteers to continue on Active duty beyond the 180-Day involuntary Call to Active duty continues to be covered by the reemployment rights act. The Soldier must meet the following conditions a. Must leave the civilian Job for the purpose of going on Active duty. B. Must not remain on Active duty longer than four years unless the period beyond four years up to an additional year is at the request and for the convenience of the Federal government. C. Must be discharged or released from Active duty under honorable conditions and d. Must apply for reemployment with the pre service employer within 31 Days after separation from Active duty. To write us. Readers action line is the readers a a court of last resort Quot striving to answer some of the questions about life overseas in a military environment or questions about policies and guidelines when other avenues for answers Are not readily available. If you have a question and Don t know where to turn for the answer write to readers action line co the stars and stapes. Apo 09211-4211. All letters must be signed and preference will be Given to those seeking information of general interest to our readers. Page 16 a the stars and stripes tuesday August 27, 1991