European Stars and Stripes (Newspaper) - September 6, 1991, Darmstadt, Hesse Friday september 6, 1991 the stars and stripes a Page 19ann Landers dear Ann Landers i have had male friends no sex involved for the last 25 of my 33 years of marriage. Odd not really. My husband a wonderful person and a successful businessman has never made an Effort to meet my emotional needs. His life consists of work coming Home to eat with the to turned on and then Reading the newspaper in his comfortable chair until bedtime. On weekends he sleeps or performs business related activities. I was a gregarious person when we married and enjoyed being with friends. All that ended because my husband a meets people All week Long and the last thing he wants to do on weekends is when he a Home he says he needs peace and quiet. This Means he eats no dinners out and his social life is Zero. The Way i see it my husband has a precious commodity which increases in value As the years go by. Me. In addition to my Job downtown in be cleaned cooked terrific meals and raised three sons. In be been my husbands sounding Board whenever he has needed a listening ear. I never refuse to accommodate him sexually even though sex to him is for his pleasure Only. After repeatedly asking him to consider my needs and suggesting that we both go for counselling he said a a in a a Happy Man. I done to need so x opted for the other Man relationship. F i be had several male friends Over the years. In each Case we enjoyed one another a company until he found a woman to marry. At that Point another Man comes dear Abby dear Abby i am the Mother of a 7-month-old daughter and another child is due in december. My husband and i were married last january and now we Are being divorced. Ill be 21 in october and i am terrified of being a single Mother with two children not to mention the fact that my husband has paid Only $50 in child support. Clothes food and diapers Cost a lot of Money. Abby this second child was a Complete Shock and in a not sure i really want it. I have no feelings for it. Am i making sense i feel As though my world has no meaning except for my family the child i have and myself. I done to know what to do. I have dreams of How i could Hurt myself badly enough to kill this child inside. I wish i Wasny to pregnant but i done to believe in abortion and i could t give it up for adoption. Mom tells me i will have feelings for this baby when it begins to grow. Has anyone Ever said this to you before i will care for it but in a afraid that i will never love this baby. Scary huh what should i do help scared in Wash. State dear scared if you Are having dreams about How you can a a Hurt yourself enough to be rid of the baby you say you May never love cannot support and did not want in the first place please talk with a professional Counselor or along to take his place. My typical male Friend is a professional Between 30 and 50, unmarried who is fed up with women who have tried to trap him into marriage when he a not ready. While my current a a Friend is not interested in marriage or sex he Longs for a relationship with a woman who is willing to listen to him laugh with him and share his Joys and sorrows. In return he a willing to do the same a which is where 1 fit into his life. He does t feel threatened because he knows i love my husband and have no interest in getting a divorce. By now you must be wondering How my husband feels about this. Well he says the other Man in my life is a valuable commodity to him As Well. It relieves him of spending the time and Energy required to be a Friend to me. In turn the Freedom he gives me ensures against having an unhappy neglected nagging wife. Perfect no but it suits me just Fine. Care to comment doing next Best thing in Jackson miss. Dear next Best thing the design for living you have described May be just Dandy for you and your husband and the transient males who Parade through your life but it is nothing i would recommend. It sounds to me As if you have a sterile and meaningless marriage with a Man who is self absorbed inconsiderate and totally disconnected from you. You say he is a a wonderful person and that you love him. I wonder Why. I also wonder about a Man who considers your current male companion a a valuable commodity because it relieves him of the Job of being a Friend to you. C creators Syndicate a clergy person about giving the child up. There Are Many couples waiting and praying for a child to adopt. They would love and provide for it in a Way that you cannot. Please consider that option. You need not feel guilty for facing reality. I wish you Well. Dear Abby i am a delivery Driver for a major pizza restaurant in Atchison Kan. In be seen All kinds of things while delivering pizza but one thing in be seen often worries me. Many adults Send their Small children to answer the door and pay for the pizza. In be had children As Young As 3 and 4 years old meet me at the door with no adult in sight. One woman sent her 5-year-old son to the door and when there was a problem with the order he had to get her from a second floor bedroom one Little boy even let me in the House saying that he was the Only one at Home. I love children myself and done to have a problem dealing with them but people done to know me. How do they know i wont try to abduct their child or do something terrible to him or her we read about things like that happening to children every Day Abby please Tell people that if they want to let their kids a a pay for the pizza that a Fine but they should be within a few feet of the child when the child opens the door. It could prevent a terrible tragedy. 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