European Stars and Stripes (Newspaper) - September 22, 1991, Darmstadt, Hesse Yearning for donuts and porches and us bratwurst Cindy Chambers columnist it happens to almost every american living overseas after awhile. Sometimes it takes two years sometimes four some people get the feeling after six months. For some it takes a lifetime. But it la happen. And its sneaky. First you get a hankering for Sambo a. Think of it a pigs in a Blanket 24 hours a Day a genuine Glass of ice water served by a waitress in a polyester Day Glo uniform. Orange plastic Bench seats you have to Peel your Bare legs off of when its time to pay the Bill. Suddenly there a just something picturesque about the american tackiness of it. And it starts looking Good to you. Then one Day you pass by that quaint Little half timbered House you be always admired and you find yourself wondering a How would the place look with White Vinyl siding and screens on the windows. Definitely needs that a when you know you re almost there. Pretty soon you Start to miss things. Little things like front porches and rickety mailboxes by the Side of the Road. A dozen fresh Mello Creme doughnuts bought at a drive in window at 2 in the morning. A satellite weather picture of the place where you actually live. A Hundred Bright billboards lining the Highway. It starts to look like Home. You even miss the sounds. The Wail of a real american police car As it pulls Over a real american drug dealer. An honest to goodness american Telephone that does no to sound like a parakeet on steroids. The words a attention shoppers. We have a Blue Light special on women a plastic rain the noise of a thousand crazed football fans screaming their lungs out under an october Blue sky. It s like music to your cars. Then one weekend you Wake up and you Don t feel like recycling your trash anymore. You done to want to jump Start your european oven. And the very thought of plugging in a transformer makes you shudder. The metamorphosis is Complete. You re an a ugly and you done to even care. So it s time. Time to go Back to the land of Motel 6, 7-eleven and eight flags Over your Hometown. Time to fill yourself up on America again. And after awhile it la happen. First you la get a hankering for a real bratwurst and a Stein of Golden Beer. Then you la find yourself missing things like clean taxicabs and open air markets and grandmothers on bicycles. It May take five weeks or it May take five years. But it la happen. And its sneaky. Duly Chat Ifni i i a .1 Xvi Liry Tenn y i pc it i i Quot to miss manners Judith Martin United feature Syndicate car miss manners i recently went out four times with a Nice Young Man. The Day after the last Date he called and said he had a wonderful time and would Call me later. Ten Days later i left him a message. Was i wrong to Call i am interested in a relationship with him. Does he owe me an explanation after 10 Days i know it is too Early to ask for much but i Feci i deserve better. Gentle Reader were you wrong to Call him no. Does he owe you an explanation no. If you demand one will you have a relationship no. In the Early stages of a courtship one half of a couple does not impose rules about How often to Call or meet. Therefore although either person May initiate Calls this should not be done to berate him or her it miss you is More attractive than a Why did no to you Call a later you May Progress to a stage when a certain regularity is agreed upon. Getting there is generally quicker when one remembers that it is human nature to be More enthusiastic about pressing someone who seems hesitant than keeping up with someone who Isnit. Dear miss manners at the Small firm where i work the frequency of office solicitations is increasing rapidly. What do you consider proper it is hard for example to say no to an 8-year-old Selling girl scout cookies it is even harder when she is with her Parent who is also ones Superior. Am i wrong for being concerned about these approaches gentle Reader according to those who profit from this practice you May be wrong. But miss manners assures you that everyone on the receiving end of office solicitations dislikes the idea. These things arc hard to decline individually. What you need is an office wide no solicitation policy mandated from above. When a a above is part of the problem this is hard to request. Miss manners suggests that you might say a not All of the people who conic around arc As adorable As your dear miss manners my husband and i who do not smoke invited three other couples for cocktails at our vacation condominium. Shortly after arriving one of the women asked me if i minded if she smoked. There is where i made the mistake. I said a no its All she and her husband promptly lighted cigarettes and continued to smoke one cigarette after another the entire time they were there which was about two hours. They Are perfectly charming people otherwise but needless to say we will not invite them Back in a hurry. I would like to know if there is anything i might have said that would have discouraged the smoking without alienating these people. Gentle Reader now just a minute Here. Let miss manners Sec if she has this straight. These people asked if they could smoke in your House. You told them it was perfectly All right. Now you want to banish them for doing so. It is All very Well to say that giving permission was a mistake but she objects to the tone you take a citing their enthusiastic compliance and your resulting suffering a As if they somehow should have known that it would bother you in spite of your direct statement to the contrary. The answer you should have made was a ooh dear in a afraid smoke bothers the whole scene would then have been avoided. But now that it has taken place it would be a shame to lose the Friendship of this couple who Are by your testimony charming and also seem to be considerate. Rude smokers done to bother to ask some even argue if you object invite them again but this time say a you know i was too timid to say last time that i prefer that you done to smoke. But we so enjoyed your visit and i Hope it wont annoy you not to smoke while you re Libra sept. 23-oct. 22 curiosity concerning needs of others and fulfilment of personal ideals change your Outlook. Discovery is made concerning motives. Scorpio oct. 23-nov. 21 distorted truth could get you into trouble. Close examination of Job situation leads to breakthrough. Sagittarius nov. 22-dec. 20 you appreciate finer things. Plan now for weekend excitement. Pursue tantalizing debate. Capricorn dec. 21-Jan. 19 excesses of past come Back to haunt. You achieve respite from hard labor today aquarius Jan. 20-feb. 18 splendid time to negotiate not capitulate. Success at increasing income comes More quickly than expected. Pisces feb. 19-March 20 spark rekindles with old flame. You accept personal Challenge that shows real Talent for creative inspiration of others. Aries March 21-april 19. Watch health and vitality level. Choice must be made regarding in Nance and liability picture. Taurus april 20-May 20 careful timing of career move is critical. You outdistanced opponent by doing research and uncovering hidden facts gemini May 21-june 20 work at maintaining Calm relations with associates. Others Aren t sure just How much you know yet. Cancer june 21-july 22 dinner out hits the Mark. Delve into expenditure matters in Fine detail. You make out Well during Chance encounter. Leo july 23-aug. 22 procrastination gets in Way of Best efforts. Travel Romance and Juicy rumours All loom on horizon. Virgo aug. 23-sept. 22 Friend is forthcoming with travel proposal. Need for Security and material Comfort can get in Way of breaking Mold. Col of nows of Crow a
