European Stars and Stripes (Newspaper) - November 26, 1991, Darmstadt, Hesse Page 20 the stars and stripes tuesday november 26, 1991 Ann Landers dear Ann Landers Over the years you have printed letters from readers who Are going through difficult times in their lives. They Tell you How surprised they Are by the inappropriate and thoughtless responses of friends and family. This letter is about the pain of unemployment. We Are amazed at the insensitivity of people we thought were Good friends. I Hope this letter will open the door to better understanding please done to say a cheer up hell find something soon a after 10 months and dozens of interviews that have led nowhere those words done to help. Done to Tell us about someone else who has been unemployed longer. That a no Comfort a it just makes our situation seem More hopeless. The old adage a misery loves company does no to apply Here. Call once in a while just to say hello. We re not dead just unemployed. If you done to know what to say say just that. Wed rather have a Little sympathy than be ignored. Tell us a funny Story or give us an update on your kids and what they be been doing lately. We re tired of talking about ourselves and our troubles. Wed love to hear what a new in your family. Rent a movie and invite us Over with a few friends. Nothing fancy a Popcorn is Fine or a potluck supper. I can bring a casserole or dessert. Remember the Days when our kids were Young and we used to do that every saturday night we had an awful lot of fun. We done to want Charity or pity just Friendship. Unemployed in Conn. Dear unemployed you Are certainly right a the number of White Collar today s crossword dear Abby dear Abby Over the years you have provided your readers with numerous comments and some helpful serious advice. But Abby your age and the changing technology have caught up with you a and passed you by. The advice you gave a living a Nightmare a whose husband wanted to videotape their sex act was so off base i had to let you know that you Are out of touch with today a men and technology. Abby had you been up on the video technology available today and attuned to male desires you would have Given your correspondent at least one of the following options i. View themselves on the Monitor without a tape in the camera. 2. Tape the act and she keeps the tape. 3. Make him agree that the two of them will be the Only viewers of the tape. 4. Use the tape As a bribe to get All those things she a always wanted and get before. Abby you need either to retire or get a male adviser for males problems. Alphonse Bush los Angeles dear Alphonse Bush i heard from other video Wise male readers who also workers who Are unemployed in this country is staggering. A great Many people need to have a better understanding of what it s like not to have a Job. Thanks for a letter that could make a lot of difference. Dear Ann Landers the whining tone of the woman whose husband wanted to mud wrestle in the basement made me angry. These remarks Are for her thank god your husband is interested in doing something with you. Mud wrestling May not be As Classy As Fox Hunting but it sounds like a great Way to build intimacy. Id be in seventh heaven if my husband suggested doing anything with me. I am 60 years old and have spent 33 years in two lonely desolate marriages. I Hope i find a mud wrestler before i die. It would be heaven. That woman does no to know How Lucky she is. Tell her Ann. . In South Dakota dear . You did a and in a delightfully unique Way. Thank you. Dear Ann Landers i was taught in High school that when the husband Dies All mail addressed to the wife should Bear her first name. Therefore in be been sending letters to mrs. Janet Jones. She became upset and requested that in the future i address her mail to mrs. Edward Jones. I believe that since Edward is no longer alive this is wrong. True Tulsa q. Dear Tulsa q a widow should be addressed As she always was. The deceased husbands name remains part of her designation. A Divorcee however is mrs. Martha Jones. C creators Syndicate disagreed with my answer but there will be no Mea culpa from this Corner because a living a Nightmare said her husbands behaviour had changed so noticeably that even his co workers had mentioned it. Furthermore the Issue was not the husbands wanting to videotape their sex act a it was his heavy handed tactics. When she advised her husband that having their sex act captured on a videotape made her uncomfortable he told her that he would not have sex with her again unless it was on tape. And when she suggested they consult a marriage Counselor he flatly refused. After her husband had been a badgering her every night for two months a she finally wrote to me. I have always Felt that what happens in the bedroom of two consenting adults is their own business providing they Are both agreeable and neither is harmed. The wife Felt that his request was degrading but he continued to Badger her therefore i concluded that his behaviour was sick. Whether it was a symptom of a potentially life threatening illness would have to be determined by a medical doctor. I rest my Case and stand by my answer even though it is entirely possible that the husband was More brutish than brain damaged. . I already have a male adviser. I sleep with him. 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