European Stars and Stripes (Newspaper) - December 8, 1991, Darmstadt, Hesse Last laugh stretching the Point Many years after the Cut Dave Barry i want to warn you right away that today s topic involves an extremely mature subject matter that might offend your Community standards if your Community has any. I became sensitive about Community standards recently when at the suggestion of no less than a . Supreme court Justice 1 wrote a column about a ground breaking anti flatulence product called Beano. Some newspapers a and 1 do not wish to name names but two of them were the Portland oregonian and the St. Louis pos dispatch a refused to print this column on the grounds that it was tasteless and offensive. Which of course it was although it was nothing like the disgusting trash you hear from the Senate judiciary committee. Anyway those leaders who have Community standards should leave the room at this Lime because today s topic is circumcision. This is a common medical procedure that involves a and Here in the interest of tastefulness i am going to use code names a taking hold of a Guy s oregonian and snipping his Post dispatch right off. This is usually done to Liny Guy babies who Don t have a clue As to what is lib out to happen. One minute a baby is lying happily in his Little bed looking at the world and thinking what babies think basically a huh Quot and suddenly along comes a Large person and snip Wapaa huh the baby is dramatically introduced to the concept that powerful strangers can fill his life with pain for no apparent reason. This is excellent training for dealing with the internal Revenue service but it s no fun at the Lime. Most of us Guys Deal with this unpleasant experience by eventually erasing it from our conscious minds the Way we do with algebra. But some Guys never get Over it. I base this statement on a san Jose Mercury news article written by Michael Oricchio and mailed to me by Many Alert readers concerning a group of men in California who Are very upset about having been circumcised As babies. They have formed a support group called Recap. In the interest of Good taste i will not Tell you what the a up Quot in a Recap Quot stands for. But the a Areca Quot part stands for a recover according to the article the members sorry of Recap Are devoted to restoring themselves to pre circumcision condition a through stretching existing skin or by i swear i am not making this up. Here is a quotation from Recap co founder r. Wayne Griffiths a there arc a lot of men who Are enraged that they were violated without their consent and they want to do something about it. I be always been fascinated by intact men. I just thought it looked nicer. I had friends growing up who were intact. 1 thought a gee that a what id like to a a the article states that to become intact again Griffiths invented a 7/ ounce skin stretching device that a looks like a tiny steel Barbell a which he taped to the end of his oregonian and wore for a four to 12 hours every Day except weekends for a using this method he grew himself an entirely new Post dispatch. Other Recap members Are involved in similar efforts they meet regularly to discuss technique and review their Progress. I m not sure How i feel about All this. I m a Middle aged while Guy which Means i m constantly reminded that my particular group is responsible for the oppression of every known minority plus most wars plus government corruption plus pollution of the environment not to mention that it was Middle aged White Guys who killed Bambi s mom. So i m pleased to learn that i myself am an oppressed victim of something. But no matter How hard i try i can t a amps Sharon Kilday Tarrant get enraged about it. I be asked other Guys about this. A Are you enraged about being circumcised i say. Quot what Quot they say. So i explain about Recap. A what a they say. I have yet to find a Guy who s enraged. And nobody i talked to was interested in miniature barbells let alone surgery. Most Guys Don t even like to talk about medical procedures involving the oregonian Region. One time my wife and i were at a restaurant with two other couples and one of the women Susan started describing her husband bobs Vasectomy which she had witnessed. A no Quot we Guys shouted Curling our bodies up like boiled shrimp. A a let a not talk about that a a but our wives were fascinated. They egged Susan on and she went into great detail forcing us Guys to stick wads of French bread in our cars and Duck our Heads under the table. Periodically wed come up to see if the coast was Clear but Susan would be saying a and then the doctor picked up this thing that looked like a big Crochet Needle. And Bonk we Guys would bang our Heads together ducking Back under the table. So Posi dispatch Wise. I think in a going to remain an oppressed victim. But Don t let me Tell the rest of you Guys what to think its your decision. This is a free country. In most communities. The Miami Herald running times for unedited films 1. Gone with the wind a 4 Days 2t hours v 2. Metropolis a 20 Days 6 hours 3. Heil s Angels a 23 Days 8 hours 4. City lights a 10 Days 2 hours 5. The outlaw a 4 Days 20 hours 6. Ben Hur a 11 Days 15 hours source world features Syndicate much married authors 1. Norman Mailer a married 6 times 2. Henry Miller a 5 times 3. Mary Mccarthy a 4 times 4. Sherwood Anderson a 4 times 5. Ernest Hemingway a 4 times 6. Eugene o Neill 3 times Sou a Wii m features synd Une Williams London England o o 3page 24 a sunday 0timber 8. Isol
