European Stars and Stripes (Newspaper) - March 29, 1992, Darmstadt, Hesse                                Last laugh cards that come alive for that special Day Dave Barry today on consumer quadrant we Are pleased to announce an exciting new service for those Consumers who expect at some Point in the future to be dead. We found out about this service through an advertisement in Yankee Magazine that was sent to us by a number of Alert readers. It states a just think., you passed away months ago. And yet on every occasion that is important to those you left behind and on their birthdays they receive a Beautiful card expressing your warm and Loving thoughts to  the and had a Coupon that you could fill in and mail with a Dollar to a company called cards from beyond of Fairport . We did this and cards from beyond sent Back a tasteful brochure describing the various cards you can arrange to have sent to your loved ones on specific annual occasions after you expire for $25 per card per year. There Are cards for thanksgiving Christmas easter and anniversaries but a surprisingly a none for halloween. Our personal favorite card is the Happy birthday Model which features the following message which we Are not making up a on this special Day in your life take Joy in the fact that those of us who have gone on before would give anything to be in your  what a Happy birthday reminder that would be. Perhaps to add to the festive mood everybody could gather round your loved one and sing Happy birthday to you a Happy birthday to you Happy birthday dear name of loved on and done to forget that your name is still dead we think that cards from beyond is a needed service and wed like to see it expanded into other areas. For example wed be Vety interested in sending letters from beyond to the Sears appliance repair department. We have been trying for the bulk of our adult lives to get an appliance repair person to come to our House and wed like to continue trying after our demise by Means of an annual card that would say although a tis True that we be been processed by the undertaker wed still be grateful if you d come and look at our ice maker other services from beyond that wed be interested in Are betting on football from beyond claiming flagrantly bogus tax deductions from beyond ordering take out chinese food from beyond and calling up Phyllis Schlafly at 4 . And making comical barnyard noises from  a a speaking of appliances and death one question people ask us constantly Here at consumer quadrant is Quot is it possible to generate electricity using dead hornets a we arc pleased to report the answer is yes. We have Here an article from the feb. 2 Chicago Tribune mailed in by Alert Reader Stephanie Mcgrath which states that scientists at Tel Aviv University have discovered that hornets have a special kind of skin that can convert sunlight into electricity. A researchers find that they can Hook up a circuit of hornets to produce electricity to run Small appliances a the articles states. There a a photograph of a digital clock attached to wires that scientists have connected to six dead hornets. This is exciting news because unlike Ordinary flashlight style batteries which Are designed to Start losing Power rapidly the instant you pay for them hornets represent a natural and renewable Energy source that could provide major benefits for All of humanity including campers first camper darn it night has fallen and my flashlight batteries arc drained second camper done to worry ill just reach into this hornets nest Here and. Hornets Biz Zzz. Second camper ouch slap own slap. First camper Yow slap Ohhi swedish Bikini team Aimeee second camper Well that was extremely painful but in be rigged up a simple 10-Hornet circuit Here and As soon As morning comes and sunlight strikes their skin Well have Light first camper Woog Dies a a a of so maybe we need to work out some bugs. A a but the important thing is that you the consumer Are benefiting from the amazing new concepts that regularly spew from the minds of inventive people who May be ingesting More than their share of Halcyon. We at consumer quadrant Promise to Monitor these developments and keep you informed just As Long As we re around. Even longer if you want to sign up for our new service columns from beyond. The Miami Herald r  at the c la amp military life in Europe March 18. Staps t Start per u�i6 3-senior, airman in amp a Chicks March 18, Star a a 7 Secretary of defense Artres Blip burp rtk6 airman admit top to $3,000 in sap Cne Oss. Fth6 airman Virote the Bap Check so set Toffen Juu a and Mamet a i Sec. 91 ofe Ami ire to at least the Sec of pm of a Nso a rett the bad checks b6twe6m Jolt i982 March True airman Recei it month a Al fee i a Bao a Schafte Jrie 5�c. Of Dep. Rte a press is an try and frustrate p. Johp. I cd cd by Charles Kaufman Page 28 a sunday March 29. 1992