European Stars and Stripes (Newspaper) - June 20, 1992, Darmstadt, Hesse                                A amps Wes Booher Days and what has happened to each of  makes arsenic hour less lethally Mary Maushard the Baltimore Sun t is the hour in late afternoon or Early evening before dinner and evening routines when the family gets Back together and when parents Start their hard jobs. It is known As the arsenic hour Here Are some suggestions for making the first hour at Home a Little easier for the whole family take a break ten or 15 minutes of peace can give you enough Energy to prepare dinner and meet the children s demands if your children Are Young encourage them to rest with you in a dimly lit room if they Are older explain that you need a few minutes to look at the mail change your clothes and collect your thoughts. If need be sit in the car an extra 10 minutes before going in the House done to come Home hungry a High protein snack at 3 . Or 4 . Will give you enough Energy Lor what s ahead. Plan dinner ahead know what you Are going to serve and if possible do some Advance preparation. There is virtue in cooking in big batches in using crackpots and of course in frequenting the neighbourhood carryout. Gather together this is easier with Young children than with older ones but give it a try. When everyone gets Home sit on the floor together for a few minutes a or around the Kitchen table a and talk briefly about your schedule family time if dinner together is More and More an impossibility plan a couple of nights each week when you will eat together and make this a command performance for everyone. This keeps communication going Between family members. A amp a dealing with those dinnertime struggles by Marianne Daniels Garber the problem. Here s some food for thought Stephen w. Garber and Robyn Freedman Spizman Cox news service dear parenting Well be heading to grandma s again soon and i m not looking Forward to it. My Mother goes to a lot of trouble to make a Beautiful dinner and then the kids done to eat and she gets Hurt. Believe me my kids Are not scrawny they Are 3 and 5 and they eat what they like and that s Fine with to. My Mother always forced me to clean my plate and i swore id never do that to my children and i Don t. Now she a arguing with me and my kids. A fed up a dear fed up you can Lead a child to the table but you can t make him eat. You can try every trick in the Book from flying air plane spoons to sugar coated vegetables but once mealtime turns into a Power struggle forget it. And in this Case it sounds like a three Way Power struggle has taken hold. Many moms and dads vow they will never do something their parents did. Avoiding dinnertime struggles is a worthwhile goal. Take your mom out to lunch to discuss Tell your Mother you want your children to have pleasant memories of meals with her. Be sure to let her know that everyone appreciates the Effort she makes to prepare meals. Also give yourself an Edge a suggest some meals your family members adore. Give your mom some eating facts about kids 1. Children gain a huge amount of weight during the first year of life and then their growth slows. Appetite and caloric needs fluctuate daily during the growing years. Adults done to need calories for growth so our requirements tend to be More regular. It is not unusual for a child to be voracious one Day and simply pick at his plate the next. As Long As your child is following an appropriate pattern of growth As determined by his physician he is eating enough. 2. Most toddlers and preschoolers done to eat a balanced diet at every meal. Strive for them to eat a balanced diet every week. Keep a record of what your children eat for two weeks. Compare their average daily consumption with their nutritional needs As indicated by your physician. 3. Children like to eat familiar things and they have Strong specific food preferences. Foods have to be offered Over and Over again. Suggest that you and your Mother Compromise so that your children Are the winners. If you have been repeatedly catering to your children s eating habits then perhaps you Are doing them a disservice if your Mother is pushing too much perhaps she will lighten her approach. Provide healthy wholesome food that looks appealing and within reason let children determine How much to eat. If you done to push too hard but Praise them for taking a taste there a a Good Chance your children will eventually give them a try. Offer Small Servings. Children Are often overwhelmed by plates piled High. A Tablespoon is considered a reasonable serving for a Small child. Done to Cater to a Ketchup and potatoes mentality. Once your child knows you Are willing to provide a substitute meal at the drop of a Fork you Are Likely to find yourself becoming a Short order Cook. Done to make substitute meals. Make sure you set a Good Model. Eat your vegetables and avoid unhealthy snacks. Your child is watching and learning from you. Where of write Send lips and questions to parenting the Atlanta journal. Constitution . Box 4689, Atlanta a. 30302maturity key Factor in deciding when to leave kid by Susan Campbell the Hartford courant Hose first few moments of leaving a child Home alone Are enough to wrench any Parent s heart. Not every kid is As resourceful As Macaulay Culkin. But it sure is convenient. And its certainty cheaper than paying for child care. Like so Many other situations that parents face there is no easy Way for deciding when a child is old enough to manage alone child psychologists say. A mature 11-year-old might do Fine. Some 14-year-Olds still need a keeper. The first thing to consider is maturity. Quot look at the kid s track record Quot said Bernard Barile a psychologist in Hartford. Conn. Quot has the kid been responsible made Good judgments in the past has the kid been Able to not get himself in difficult situations Quot a lot of parents have delivered the message about responsibility and kids will have their own internal guidelines. That s the direction you want to push them in you re not going to be there forever Quot no but some parents Are careful to be there forever in spirit anyway. Brenda Roth single Mother of Bobby 12, has a Rule that Bobby Call her every Day when he gets Home from school at 3 05 . If he has t called by 3 15, she Calls an elderly neighbor who checks on him. Bobby is not allowed to leave the House until his Mother gets Home from her Job at 4 30. There Are no exceptions. This has been the roths arrangement for two months now and so far there Haven t been any hitches. Quot thank god Quot says Brenda Roth laughing. She says she worries about Bobby but he s a Quot responsible kid and was very interested in not being babysat at his  whether Ehe will continue giving Bobby his Freedom during the summer is up for grabs she said. Right now she a leaning toward saying yes. He is after All going to be 13 soon being left alone requires that a child has some sense of what he or she can and can t do said David Russell a psychologist with the Charis group a West Hartford counselling Center Russell said a child left alone needs to be Able to talk freely about fears. Otherwise a child who is afraid of the dark might not discover that until he or she is left alone after Sundown. Alto Doet the child spend a Good Deal of time alone or is she constantly saying Quot i m bored Quot and looking to you for entertainment and How does the child respond to peer pressure if More than one child is being left together who s in charge Quot if they Are going to have another child around will that child be Able to maintain a dual focus a Russell asked. Quot Are they Able to watch to and know what else is going on Quot Barile said that siblings who Are close in age Are liable to get into More trouble. Quot you re putting that kid into an executive position and what happens is you end up with competitive rival Rous feelings and conflicts that can escalate and become a problem Quot he said. Page 16 a the stars and stripes saturday june 20, 1992