European Stars and Stripes (Newspaper) - November 1, 1992, Darmstadt, Hesse                                I As i i a .11when housework screams out men need hearing Aid Dave Barry today i want to talk to you husbands about housework and the importance of helping your wives with. Hold it right there men. I see you trying to sneak out of this article. Get Back in Here and listen up the International labor organization an Agency of the United nations recently did a Survey asking women around the world How much help we men give them with the housework. According to the results most women think we re doing a splendid Job. In a joking of course. The women basically said that in terms of sharing the housework Burden having a Man around is like having a 197-Pound lint Ball permanently bonded to the sofa operating the to Remote control and periodically generating dirty underwear. This kind of criticism is nothing new. Somebody is always surveying women about men and men always come out looking bad. Just once id like to see a Survey with questions that would tend to put men in a More positive Light such As a Quot which gender on the average is More Likely to demonstrate the patience and perseverance necessary to teach a Small child How to spit a a a in the event of a family emergency which gender is most Likely to be Able to remember a coolly calmly and without panic a what position Clarence a Choo Chook Coleman played Quot but surveys never ask this Type of question. They always ask about female oriented qualities such As maturity sensitivity communication commitment ability to remember the names of All the children Etc. A As if those were the Only issues that mattered As if men did not have unique needs and problems of their own As if there were no such thing As Jock itch. Just recently my wife and i were in South Miami Beach sitting at an outdoor cafe with a Lovely View of Palm Trees and the Beach and directly in front of us about 25 Yards away was a Man clearly experiencing a life threatening need to scratch himself. Unfortunately he was in a wide open area wearing nothing except a bathing suit about the size of a lady a Wristwatch. Trying hard to look casual he Laid Down sideways pretending to be a Guy relaxing in the Sun. He glanced around to see if anybody was watching and then Grope he made a lightning fast move to ease his discomfort and then he glanced around again and then Grope and Grope  he lost control of himself and plunged in frantically with both hands too absorbed in his task to realize that he had now surpassed the Atlantic Ocean As a local tourist attraction with a Large crowd watching him and Small Banner towing air planes making a turns to come Back for a second look i know you men Are thinking Quot whoa. I can definitely feel for that Guy so to speak. On the other hand my wife a member of the so called a a sensitive gender was laughing. But does the International labor organization do a Survey about this sensitive Issue no it picks housework which happens to be a weak Point with us men. This is not our fault. We spent millions of years functioning As the food providers in the family and thus we Are temperamentally and biologically More suited to aggressively physical strenuous Hunt or gatherer types of activities such As Golf. Plus on those rare occasions when a Man docs attempt to help out with some household responsibility such As getting the kids dressed for school he often discovers that his wife has established a lot of Picky technical rules and if he does t do everything exactly right he gets corrected until finally he just gets fed up. Quot wait a minute Quot he snaps. A Are you telling me that they have to Wear shoes every single Day a and then he stomps off and tries to Calm himself Down by gripping his Putter. Another problem is that to commercials for housework Type products arc always aimed at women. We need commercials that would make  military life in Europe housework appealing to Guys. For example there could be one where a Guy opens up his refrigerator and secs. The swedish Bikini team they re trapped their feet Are stuck in the dense Brown goo that formed when Barbecue sauce spilled onto the hydrator so the Guy grabs Pine sol and uses his exclusive grease cutting formula to Rescue the Bikini team members who gather around him and express their gratitude by leaning Over a lot. Yes the advertising Industry could definitely be doing a better Job. But in the end men its up to you to make More of an Effort to help out around the Home. At the same time you women out there need to become More aware of an important fact and one that is often overlooked amid the endless Day to Day hassles involved in running a household Choo Choo Coleman was a Catcher. Tha Miami Herald. By Charles Kaufman news report Survey reveals men amp women having sex in coed military units noise Fiock Page 28 a sunday november 1, 1992