European Stars and Stripes (Newspaper) - February 11, 1993, Darmstadt, Hesse Thursday february 11, 1993 the Star and stripes Pago 17 constant criticism dear Ann Landers my Mother died last week. She had four children. We Are All in our 50s now yet Mother Felt until her dying Day that it was her god Given right to control pass judgment on and Sei the standards for All of us. As adults we were frequently embarrassed and angered by our Mother who insisted on correcting our Gra Nimar in the presence of outsiders. Rarely did she come into our Homes without making us feel inadequate about the Way we kept House our taste in furnishings and the Way we were raising our children. As a result of mothers constant criticism one of my Sisters weighs More than 300 pounds and has been seeing a psychiatrist for 20 years. Another sister is bulimic a cocaine addict and floundering in a third marriage. My brother who is a homosexual is an alcoholic has attempted suicide and has failed at everything he Ever attempted to do. Today a crossword Ann Landers i made a lifetime commitment to guard the self esteem it took me 30 years to develop. Yet every time my Mother would voice her opinion by a a innocently asking a did you actually Wear that dress to work a or More boldly a did you really mean to get a haircut like that a i found myself feeling the same pangs of Inadequacy 1 Felt when i was 15. Ann please Tell All the mothers out there who constantly criticize their grown children that they Are wasting their time and Energy. V Alabama Flashback dear Alabama my message to All mothers constant criticism can be crippling. It destroys Confidence and cats away at self esteem. Praise on the other hand is a great Molt Vator. It gives children a lilt and encourages them to do better. People of All Ages have an astonishing capacity to live up to High expectations. They can also fail miserably if they sense that nothing is expected of them. Your poignant letter bears testimony that these feelings endure throughout life. Thank you for writing. Letters to Ann Landor should to addressed to her at . Box 11562, Chi Cago 1 1.60611-0562. C creators Syndicate husband has no excuse for belch ing dear Abby my husband and i have a disagreement Over his belching a at least that a the surface Issue. I have asked him to please say a excuse me a when he belches. He argues with me saying that if he is in the next room or another room of the House he does not see any reason to. I say that no matter where he is if i can hear him he should say a excuse he finally agreed to a polite a excuse me if we Are in the same room. He says i am control him. I say its a matter of Basic Courtesy and has absolutely nothing to do with controlling him. Our Home has open doorways and i can hear every sound when he a in the next room so out of respect for me he should say a excuse me a if he belches loudly. I am tired of talking to him about this. The etiquette books do not cover this. Thanks for any help you can give me. Irked in Blue Springs to. Dear irked this is a first. I la go along with you on the matter of expecting a polite a excuse me when your husband belches within hearing distance. However i Call it a a surface issues a its More like a gut feeling. Dear Abby please keep reminding people never to leave a Small baby alone in a House where the family a a pets can get dear Abby to it. Recently right in our neighbourhood a 2-month-old baby was left on a Couch where it was mauled to death by three Large German Shepherd the parents of the baby were devastated. Abby please run that warning in your column often. Martha Brown Houston dear Martha i have been advised that one dog is usually no threat to a child but two dogs a and most certainly three a compose a a pack a and they can be vicious if left in the presence of a helpless child. Most people assume that their pets Are incapable of attacking a child. Not True. The most docile pets have been known to turn on a child unprovoked. Dear Abby when i was in Kunkle High school More than 60 years ago i gave a Book report on Woodrow Wilson. The Only thing i remember was that his Hobby was writing Limericks. I think the one he wrote about himself is a Gem for Beauty i am not a Star there arc others More handsome by far. But my face i done to mind it for i am behind it its the ones in front that i Jar Wilma Krisher West Unity Ohio dear Wilma i could t verify whether Woodrow Wilson wrote this or not. One of my staff remembers singing this As a Camp song. Whatever it s Clever. Letters Lor this column should is addressed to dear Abby at . 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