European Stars and Stripes (Newspaper) - April 24, 1994, Darmstadt, Hesse                                Facing up to suicide amid the draw Down Bonne Bartel latino military units Pride themselves on being family especially overseas. Loss of life is the most devastating event that can affect any family. Multiply by in Finity the anguish and misplaced guilt often associated with death and one gets an idea of the emotional debris left in the turbulent after shocks of the ultimate self destructive act. It is a Balmy Moonlit night in Greece. Our unit has just won the base intramural football game but our euphoria vanishes As the group commander tells us with tears in his voice that we be just had a suicide in our  i do not envy the person who must inform the dead airman s Mother yet a second of her children in the military has ended his life. When a military suicide occurs the people left be Hind often blame themselves for not having recognized the degree of pain their Friend co worker or spouse experienced often they blame the de ceased s Chain of command. Attributing blame just like feelings of anger depression and guilt is part of the Normal grieving process. If those who were close to the deceased feel they Are not progressing through one of these Normal stages of grief they need to visit support services to achieve their own psychological autonomy. My husband was once in a Squadron where the Gung to Squadron commander had made major two years below the zone. Shortly after he was hot selected for promotion to lieutenant colonel his wife killed herself. I suspect the death was a desperate plea for help that went tragically wrong. We later Learned she suffered longtime psychological prob lems. Regardless the emotional Shock the major his Motherless children and our Squadron experienced was real for a Long while. If she sought the Aid she obviously needed would she be alive today to know that her husband eventually made lieutenant colonel and retired As a colonel in the military Many Active duty members and even family members Are still hesitant to seek assist Ance for an addiction abuse or depression because of fear of a career threatening stigma. I have a Friend who says one of the most frustrating aspects of being a military draw Down Era psychologist is convincing potential clients who need specialized care and support that the perceived stigma is myth and folklore and does not exist in  because so Many Active duty personnel fear that old stigmatic ghost from Days past the psychologist feels he is not being fully  what he says rings Trueth military is far from being a perfect institution but since the Vietnam Era the uniformed services have evolved for the bet Ter in Many directions. Mental health assistance is. One of them. I am an unapologetic fan of counselling the military offers through mental health profession als and through chaplains who Are the shepherds of our souls. In the Early 1970s, my husband and i sought Mari Tal counselling but we were careful to utilize a civil Ian Counselor so there would be no Trace in his Mili tary medical records of anything that could be mis perceived As mental instability. Over the years As we gradually began to Trust the system i have sought emotional support on several occasions at military mental health clinics without apparent damage to my spouse s career. Before we moved to Europe i received a phone calf Ron base medical personnel screening family members records prior to a family accompanied overseas assignment being made for my husband. The professional who was reviewing my records noticed i had been treated at our previous base for psychological distress and asked if i Felt mentally healthy enough to make an overseas move. I explained that i had been treated fora situational re action to my Mother s unexpected death and i had not been in therapy for Over three years this Telephone interview was conducted in a most sensitive manner. I was asked rather than my Hus band if i Felt Able to make a permanent change of station and i was called in the Middle of the afternoon when the military member was not Likely to be Home. In my Case it did t matter. My husband supported my need for the previous mental assist Ance and we both wanted to come to Germany. Still i appreciated that the person empowered to make profound judgments about our future was so empathetic and used such common sense. Military suicide today might not have much to do with the draw Down but there s no question military services Are being stretched to accomplish increasing jobs with fewer personnel who Are under pressure to maintain the pre draw Down standards of excellence. Others Are told their services Are to longer needed by the military to which they have dedicated their adult lives.  -. The pressure will Only increase with More involuntary reductions in Force. Will that mean More child spouse and substance abuse or suicide those Are unsettling questions. The military can help by convincing people they truly can get the assistance they need to achieve psychological integrity without fear of stigma being attached to their Perma Nen record. A. ,. If not the military i have loved and sometimes hated for nearly three decades May have to pay a Price far More costly than Mere defense dollars. Bonnie Bartel latino is a family member living Noar Kalsons Laudorn Germany ,. ,. V Young Down and considering suicide by Stuart Warner Seattle Post intelligencer i Here is heightened concern that there could be a Cluster effect of suicides Fol lowing Singer Kurt Goblin s death three weeks ago. Clusters occur when additional suicides follow the suicide of someone Well known to a Community according to Lloyd Potter team Leader in the suicide prevention department at the National centers for disease control and prevention in at Lanta. V ". Cobain was a talented artist but his last message implied suicide was of said King county Wash executive Gary Locke. It s crucial that we answer that message. There is help  Here Are answers about suicide based on inter views with Potter crisis clinic executive director Susan Eastgard University of Washington associate professor Elizabeth Mccauley and or. Alan Unis of children s Hospital and medical Center and on data from the cd and the american association of Suici ology. Q How big a risk is suicide among kids a suicide is the third leading killer of teen agers behind homicide and accidental death. In 1991,4,751 Young people Between the Ages of 15-24 committed suicide in this country about 16 percent of the total. Men Over 60 Are still the most at risk group but the 15-24 age group has been increasing steadily from 4.5 nirvana s Kurt Cobain a year before his death. To 13.5 deaths per 100,000 Between 1950 and 1990. Suicides by children under 13 Are rare. Q How do i know if i should worry about my child a depression is the no. 1 cause of suicide among Young people. Drug and alcohol abuse is another leading cause. Q some teens get depressed by a bad hair Day. How can i Tell if a child has a real problem ? a leading indicators of serious depression among Young people Are social isolation a sense of hopelessness about the future Lack of appetite crying spells thinking people dislike them and excessive sleeping. Y. A q what can we do to help a talk talk. Talk. The experts agree that particularly parents whose children arc fans of Cobain and nirvana should take time to let their children express their feelings. Don t dismiss Cobain As just an other Rock n Roll Druggie. He May have been a Herb to your children. Q if we bring up the topic of suicide won t that just give our child ideas a you can t hide the notion of suicide from them especially Cobain s death which has been widely re ported. Besides if a child has any tendencies toward suicide he or she probably already has considered it. Talking about it openly helps potential suicide Vic Tims sort out their problems. It also shows that they have support. Q Bur my child won t talk to me about anything. A a child who won t talk is in the High risk category. Try to get a Friend a relative anyone to inter Vene to at least suggest getting professional help. All of the experts recommended persuading such a child to Call a crisis line. Q my child has talked about suicide but i m sure it s a phase. In t he just trying to get our attention a More than 70 percent of people who threaten suicide try to take their own lives. Q do think my child is suicidal Are there any other measures i can take a every expert approached for this Story recommended getting ail firearms out of the House. Sixty five percent of the suicide victims in the 15-24 age group use a gun. Ninety two percent of All suicides attempted with a gun Are successful experts also recommend disposing of any unnecessary prescription drugs. April 24, 1994 sunday pages