European Stars and Stripes (Newspaper) - July 24, 1994, Darmstadt, Hesse                                Sex Sib a amp a a a miss manners Judith Martin dear miss manners what is the Correct closing on a letter to children of my friends or maybe to a Distant  be never met gentle Reader we All need something Between a love and kisses and a respectfully yours a which is Why miss manners is annoyed to see business steal a a ing away that charming if not literal standby a sincerely  a a she would still use that in its proxy place Wlinich includes the sort of less than  personal ties you describe. Business letters should close Villi a yours truly can miss manners be the Only person still alive who knows that. But if you insist on something warmer die usual hedge is a with Best or warmest regards.�?�. Bear miss manners i am beginning to dread the summer olympics. During the super bowl my House w As used As a bed and breakfast for relatives attending the game. My brother and his family and an aunt and Uncle enjoyed my hospitality and then went to their game leaving me to clean dishes and prepare a snack for their return. I would have loved to go to the game but could nol afford tickets will not be Able to afford tickets for the summer olympics either and Rili resent my Home being used again As a hotel my family guests do not visit me unless they Are attending meetings and just use buy Home As a stopping off Point. Gentle Reader the arc there. If you really think they done to care to Sce you at All but Only find your House a convenience you  have them stay with you. A a All you have to do is to respond Quot in a afraid that a a bad Lime to have you Here at the House but id love to see you if  some spare Lime. Andje a be glad to make a hotel rest  of r you if you Tell me what you  a. But miss manners would rather not increase the a estrangement you feel from such close  can t we assume that they arc thoughtless rather than uncaring and done to you want to have a Holiday at their houses now and  Way to Check motives would be to say a i d love to have you but its so tantalizing to have you Here and not have a real visit with you. We so rarely see one another id come to the olympics with you hut its  of my reach. Why done to you save a Reisinger Zagreb a a Croatia a and two packages of soap a Pound of Coffee and a Box of flour11 me an evening and maybe we could go out and do something a a if this brings them to their senses they will either buy you a ticket or take you out to dinner a or maybe just come Home to dinner with you but at least stick around Long enough for you to throw them a dish Towel while you arc washing  not revert to plan a with miss manners blessings. A. Dear miss manners along with All our neighbors we have always placed our refuse in front of our Home. However our new next door neighbors insist on putting their garbage in front of our House. They even went so far As to place an old toilet in our driveway. They done to seem to like the appearance of garbage in front of their Home. If this behaviour is improper How should we approach them gentle Reader with the toilet scat in hand a concerned look on your faces and the question a did you lose this a. Miss manners docs not however recommend doing this with a bag full of garbage. Whatever  there was which she admits in t much would be lost. A polite note along the lines of a we hate to bother you with such a Petty matter but for some reason your garbage seems to be Drifting Down to our House and we re afraid the collectors might think we re exceeding Pur amount would be better. And yes miss manners knows that the offence probably in More senses than one is theirs. But neighbor to neighbor challenges never Lead to any Good. Especially not when they Are already skilled at transporting their garbage. Dear miss manners when a Cousin got mar Rich she invited my Mother my brother who did the photography and my sister whose son was the ring bearer but i was left out since she could have Only 25 people because of the limited accommodation for the caterers. I have yet to acknowledge the marriage and have not sent a gift because of their  Are family get together about twice a year so it is impossible to avoid her. How would you turn die such a situation gentle Reader by giving her your Best wishes when you see her which is the minimum a polite person can do to acknowledge another a wedding. Even gentle miss manners who has been known to go into contortions to put favourable interpret tons on. Apparent slights finds herself unable to say that this is anything but rude. Perhaps the worst part is the excuse. To admit that wedding plans took into consideration the location size and convenience to the caterer before and above any question of whether it would be Nice to have you attend is outrageous. A. United feature Syndicate 1 feeling in Correl address your Oil quote questions in Black or Blue Black my on White writing paper to miss mariners . To 91420. Cleveland Ohio 44101-3423. The Kulli shortage prevents miss manners trom answering questions except through this column. A a r a Quot a n Arcadro of a a. San Jose Quot a Cost Arica for this author is no game Erma  ook Tours for authors can never be con fused with rational behaviour writers Are sent on forced death marches from one City to another to do radio and to interviews and inscribe books to a my Best Friend and ask people How they spell their name. To make life easier on the Road some authors pack their own bed pillows their own special soaps personal pictures and even health foods.  Kanin had the Best idea. He took along his own personal Valet a a author William Kotzwinkle who is readying for a Road tour to promote his latest mystery the game of thirty is taking no chances. A til be carrying my own Home brewed chinese herbal tinctures Ginseng and Deer Antler to Wake me up Licorie to drive out the toxins ill acquire in cities to Shuwu to Calm my nerves while in a  Large crowds of strange people and Peony to help me sleep. The Only things i wont be carrying Are the Bamboo Sticks i beat myself with every Day to circulate to pc secret Power of the body. Ill probably have to use the handle of a hotel umbrella a a or mrl�6tzwinklef you can forget the Bamboo Sticks and use the Bombeck self torture. Id just get up every morning and reread the new York times. Review of my Book. It always accelerated my heart. Rate and made me want to Hurt someone. In be been on eight Book Tours that a enough to qualify me for the Home for the incoherent travel with one Small garment bag and a handbag with. Wheels. I usually have an assortment of separates and two ugly dresses pretty dresses wrinkle ugly dresses never wrinkle. I absent from the authors list is a a a must a a copy of his or her own Book. Its a Given that Many of the people interviewing you will never have heard of the Book seen the Book or read it. The first thing they do when you present them. With a copy is to turn it Over to see the picture of you on the Back. The picture is a Point of reference so they can see what you Caily looked like a before you started the tour. 1 Universal prcs3 Syndicate. A no kidding animals is. People1. Mongolia a sheep outnumber people 6-1 2. Syria a sheep outnumber people 4-1 3. Somalia a camels outnumber people 3-1 4. Uruguay a cattle outnumber people 3-1 5. Denmark pigs outnumber people 2-1 worldwide there is one Brown rat for every person Quot . Companies with top profits per Day �?T93 1. Exxon a $14.5 million profit per Day 2. General electric-\$14.2 million a a 3. At amp to $10.9 million 4. Philip Morris a $9,3 million a 5. Ford motor �?$6.9 million 6. General motors a $6jtfnisi�in a a word features Syndicate Page 8 sunday july 24 1334