European Stars and Stripes (Newspaper) - July 24, 1994, Darmstadt, Hesse Off the Page James j. Kilpatrick. The writers Art Reader in Denver just sent me the faded clipping of an and that appealed in the Rocky Mountain news in Jime 1967, it was an and for a set of Farber Ware mixing a bowls a designed to please a Cook with round Bottom for efficient beating a now the text of that and must have gone across half a dozen desks before it wound up in print. How could everyone have missed the ads Appeal to Cooks with round Bottoms the answer i suppose is that too often writers and editors read copy without listening to it. Listening is vital. The More we listen to our prose the More Likely booking the even if he has mass Tony Kornheiser i he literary world was rocked by the news that a new Book by Pope John Paul ii does that make him a Pap Alback writer will be published this fall. of the English language rights a a not confused with the last rites a went for $6 million which buys a lot of frankincense and ,. Myrrh. This is Only slightly less than the Advance Given to Oprah Winfrey a Cook for the follow up to her no. 1 Best seller 7n the Kitchen with Rosie a Book about her car death experience while drinking Miller Beer called embraced by the Lite. The Pope has written a series of essays about religion. Bookstores Are unsure whether to Stock it in self help fiction nonfiction or rap. Its entitled a crossing the threshold of Hope because Dave Barry docs Japan was already taken. Sources said that in order to fulfil his two Book contract the Pope would also submit a Cookbook if its Friday it Mast be fish John Paul ii a 52 favorite seafood dishes. Its unprecedented for a sitting Pope to write a Book. And we be never had a Popes memoirs since nobody quits to say get out of. The rat race and run a bed and breakfast in Llano i Garda the publishing Community is predicting that crossing lie threshold of Hope will be a runaway Best seller since the Pope is the spiritual Leader of 900 million catholics. One publisher said it s a we Are to catch the mangled syntax and the dangling phrase. An a correspondent in South Africa Wasny to listening in april when he wrote that fighting Between rival factions a has left 100 persons dead a a gruesome thought. Another a writer passed along recommendations by Public health officials for rodent control a do not sweep an area where there have been rodents with a we should sweep the area where there have been rodents with vacuum cleaners instead. Wandering antecedents can cause a Heap of trouble. The san Antonio express news reported a manslaughter charge against a 13-year-old boy. A defense attorney Roberto Maldonado said the boy whose father left Home when he was a toddler deeply regrets the we remedy the confusion by writing Quot whose father left Home when Mark was a at the time ice skater Tonya Harding was in the news the daily Clintonia in Clinton ind., carried a photo caption a Tonya Harding gets into her truck after running out from the apartment where she is staying to keep it from getting towed in Beaverton unless trucks Are towing apartments in Beaverton the writer had the wrong antecedent for if we listen closely we Are Likely to hear the Dingle of a Dangle. Here Are a couple of fund raising letters. From citizens for a sound Economy a was one of Csecs most valued members i wanted to write you from Ronald Reagan a was one of our party s most dedicated supporters i know that you agree.,.�?� in each instance we need a a a you to hang onto. A i wanted to write you As one of Csecs most valued members a i know that As one of our party a most dedicated supporters you agree that. A a weekly paper in Colorado carried an interesting crime report a wearing a bad haircut Blue rhinestone Collar a woman reported her missing hard what to do with that sentence. Here is a Nice historical Dangle from House Beautiful a designed in 1792 for $500 by James Hoban an Irish architect John Adams became the first . President to reside at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue a. This one from the Washington monthly last Winter defies successful editing a a Mccummings profession was mugging. While attempting to Rob and strangle a 71-year-old in a subway station a transit cop heard the victims cries and found him on the station platform being throttled by Mccummings a the Best thing to do with that sentence is to shoot it. Thinking of shooting reporters seem to have a serious problem with homicides. In fort Collins colo., a Spinharney shot and killed 26-year-old Leonard Zuchel four in Rock Hill s.c., a both girls appeared to shot to death possibly several this Isnit exactly a mangle but it will serve As one More reminder to listen to what we write. It comes from business briefs in the Sumner Wash Community Sun a with More than 17 years of cutting and designing hair under his Belt Dave Brown has just opened Dave a family hair care at 926 main. Street a a All right lets hear it for Dave and lets listen to the sense of the stuff we write. A a. A a. Universal press Syndicate. A 1 the Pope of letters. Layup its a slam Dunk its lock City Bay Bce. Right at the end of celebrating the Christmas mass he says a by the Way in be got a Book out it makes a swell stocking stuffer that a 15 million sales right there a Boom. Have you any idea the kind of numbers Tom Clancy would put up if 900 million people actually cared about the difference Between a nuclear powered rd-825 sonar guided Catamount missile and a Boron based Xmt-650 self regenerating Wolf rocket a j Vatican sources say the Pope is particularly excited about the Freedom the Book form gives him As opposed to the tight Structure of the usual religious ceremonies. When the Book Deal was signed some witnesses reported his holiness said happily �?o1 can stretch Quot though the Popes tailor sol thought he heard a Al Ean . The Pope will give All of the $6 million to Charity. There is no word yet on which Charity super agent Mort Janklow intends to give his 15 percent to Early leaders seem to be Potamkin lexus on Madison Avenue and winged foot country club. Who knows what kind of writing style the Pope has you la remember that before he became Pope Karol Wojtyla wrote some books none of which took off like say the firm in a hoping his tone is Breezy. In a imagining a chapter titled Stop me if you be heard this one. In which John Paul ii recalls his Days As a Young stand up comic in Krakow. you love it if he wrote a fall the hot comics in Europe told polish jokes knockout stuff. But because of our governments insecurity we Tell them. So i opened my act with have you heard about the latvian newscast every night the announcer says a its 10 of clock. Do you know what time it is a Bada bum Bada Bing. I killed Mem in the vfws.�?�. An editor at random House who spoke under the condition that i d introduce her to George Stepha Popolous characterized the Popes writing Persona As a a Cross Between Francis of Assisi and Andy again i imagine a chapter in which John Paul asks Quot do a Ever get tired of running into heretics in the subway do a Ever wonder How they got there whether they had a Token or jumped the turnstile and How come so Many of them seem to get off at 42nd Street do a Transfer there for the a train to gomorrah a a perhaps other chapter headings would include. My favorite mad Libs. Deliver me from Folk masses yes and How Many birkenstock sandals does it take till we know that too Many Birkens have died what 7 want in a japanese car Lam 7sn�?Tt dead 7t�?Ts Only a so a Nus. How to convert the Tricky 6-7-10split. Of course random House wants the Pope to go on a Book tour. A six million is a lot of Simon cons a one nervous publicist said. A a he a Gonna have to do More to help sell this Puppy than stand on that bal. Cony and wave. If waving is what we want Well hire miss a. One of the is to shows. The Pope is known to be a big fan of Larry King live and in fact often Calls in As a Johnny from Rome. Can is very excited at the Prospect and plans a two hour show the first hour devoted to a discussion of the . Simpson Case and the second hour Call in. I drool at the thought of hearing Larry rasp a Buffalo new Hawk you re live with the pontiff a. Creators Syndicate. July 24, 1994 sunday Page 19
