European Stars and Stripes (Newspaper) - September 26, 1977, Darmstadt, Hesse                                Page 20 the stars and stripes monday september 26, 1977 diaries of each others Ives identical twins identical troubles it does t take Long for parents to catch on. By Richard Flaste new York times he parents of twins laugh a lot. They have All these stories to Tell. Like the one about the Mother who Learned that she s just bathed the same 5-year-old girl twice. She became aware of that As soon As she noticed one still dirty 5-year old giggling in a Corner. The parents have the Jovia Lity of combat soldiers who know that they re going through the toughest times of their lives and they re going to be real proud of them selves if they survive. Tie parents join groups for moral support. The National organization of mothers of twins in Rockville md., has More than 8,000 members in Chap ters across the United states. That s a huge sorority when you consider that Only one in 88 pregnancies result sin twin births. Twins May be Good for families. Or. Ronald Wilson a University of Louisville psychologist whose study includes 450 sets of twins said he had the impression that divorce was rare in the families of twins. He speculated that having twins might tend to unify the family in the face of potentially Stag Gering problems. The problems cannot be minimized. The logistics of child care alone feeding finding capable babysitters Are far More Complex than they Are for the parents of single children. Kathy Barnes whose twin girls Are now 4, found that keeping an Eye on them during the Day was such a continuous chore that she had to leave her housework until the evening. Mrs. Barnes who lives in old Bridge n.j., said that she had a lot to learn quickly. She soon found out that if one toddler fell Down and Hurt herself gaining much at Tention and affection by so doing the other would fall Down and Hurt herself seconds later. So As soon As one got Hurt she said i d give the other one attention too. I had to catch on fast. They were getting Hurt a  mrs. Barnes noticed that As toddlers life was especially frustrating for her girls because they did t realize that they looked alike. It angered them to have people Call them by the wrong name. Now it amuses them and they like to play tricks that baffle adults All the More. As they grow older some twins do continue to find it Amus ing others resent a world they see As insensitively taunt ing them for being so  the recent research on twins has revealed some ways in which they Are similar some in which they Are different and it has exposed a number of misunderstandings about them. Twins lag behind single children in language develop ment generally catching up to the others by school age. The Assumption had been that they lagged behind be cause they had each other to relate to and did t relate to adults As much As other children did. Or. Marjorie Arnold a psychologist at Rutgers univer sity who is studying the language of twins has found that pre school twins Are much like single children they do a lot of their playing separately. So the closeness of the two does t seem to explain the language lag. But unlike single children they fail to get the undivided attention of their parents. Most mothers Arnold said tend to pay attention to one child at a time. That May account for the language problem. But so May the fact that twins Are generally born prematurely. Arnold said she had seen very Little of the private Lan Guage twins Are supposed to have and she asserts that this phenomenon has been exaggerated. A set of twins in California recently made news because they had devel oped a language Only they could understand some parents favor one twin More than another which results in parental guilt that s difficult to Deal with. Wilson says that the Assumption had been that this different treatment caused the children to grow up with different personalities. But he Learned in an ongoing study that began in 1959, that twins practically from birth often display different temperaments and it May be that the children themselves play a Large part in elicit ing different treatment from their parents. There Are parents who make a Point of dressing their children differently and giving them different hair styles. They want to encourage individuality. They scorn parents who dress their children alike. But i can t be too hard on those parents Arnold said. They do get a lot of attention for it it s a real  Bernard Strasek 16-year-old Blond Blue eyed 5-foot-5 Inch Mirror image of his brother Stephen talks about How close he and his brother have been and How much they be hated each other too. He thinks they have the same rivalry and the same affection siblings everywhere have just More of it because they Are so alike. Bernard said that he and his brother Are often in com petition in school or in sports. When i lose i laugh he said but i m really  a couple of months ago he was jealous of Steve s relationship with a girl. So i said something against the girl and he got mad and i shoved him and he punched me and broke my  but if Steve for some reason were to disappear from Bernard s life Bernard said i d probably try to find somebody else just like him somebody with the same interests. Only i could t replace him. I feel real bad. We be shared everything since we were born All the Good times Bernard said. We re like diaries of each other s  by Erma Bombeck at resend my son said to me the other Day did you Ever hear of death by listening what s that supposed to mean it Means you and dad Are driving us crazy. Ever since we decided to Backpack through Europe you be treated us like babies. After All we re 22 and 19  Okay spit it out. Was it the name tags i sewed in your pyjamas it was the pyjamas. I told you we Are not taking pyjamas. We Are roughing  i understand roughing  mom roughing it to you Means a phone with Only a 10-foot Extension  if you objected to the string around your neck with the Pencil coming through each sleeve just say  we told you. Don t worry. In t it enough that we have to listen to dad s hypothetical situations he just wants you to have a  a wonderful time. Just listen to this you Are standing in line at immigration when you realize someone has just stolen your passport and All your traveler s checks a Junkie has just planted a Shoebox of heroin in your Backpack and the immigration officer does not speak English. What do you do that s not so bad i said. You Don know what misery is until a passport offi cer looks at your picture and then you an sees the resemblance. Now that is trauma time. Are you taking suntan lotion you know what this reminds me of of the time we went to Camp and you made us take a Popcorn  and it would have worked out beautifully if you had had  Okay son said his father coming into the room. Let me give you another problem to solve. A Fiat do you do if it has rained steadily for 15 Days your airline ticket Home is smeared you have both picked up High Grade infection that is unt Reata me and your Mother and i Are visit ing your aunt Mary for four or five Days Are you taking at least one sport Coatland tie what about a Tennis Racquet a shoe bag Okay Here s another one said  have just dropped your camera into the Seine when a gang of midgets sur rounds you and offers you $50 for the jeans you re wearing and your underwear is full of holes. And where did they go Mother y b they left. And they did t even say goodbye. Or did they c Field enterprises inc