European Stars and Stripes (Newspaper) - September 29, 1977, Darmstadt, Hesse Henny King of the one liners bet on a great horse. It took nine horses to beat him by Sid Schapiro is new York Bureau hey Call me King of the one liners be cause i can t remember two quips 71 year old comedian Henny Youngman. Having come full Circle in a career that s almost As old As most of his jokes the legendary comic is still telling pm in his rapid delivery style wife jokes Mother in Law jokes brother jokes grand son jokes doctor jokes lawyer jokes psychiatrist jokes mugger jokes and on anybody and anything that will keep pm laughing. Bring up a subject and you la remind me of some thing says Youngman who was once clocked in Las vegas at 250 jokes in 45 minutes. I probably know thou Sands of Between Telephone Calls in his mid Manhattan apart ment at a cluttered desk he Calls my office he tossed these our Way my brother in Law joined the army. He was a karate expert. He saluted and killed Page 14 the stars and stripes my brother in Law joined the army. He was a karate expert. He saluted and killed a doctor gave a Man six months to live. Could t pay his Bill. So he gave him another six months. I bet on a great horse. It took nine horses to beat in Las vegas a Guy running up and Down putting Money in parking meters. He says i love this outdoor gambling " i got in a cab. Guy says get out i say what s the idea he says i Don t like anybody sitting behind me while i m driving " % banker is swimming in the water. A shark comes to wards him and veers away professional Corney you say. It s a living and a darn Good one pulling Down an annual income invariably Well into six figures. At three score and ten plus one the 6-foot-2, energetic Youngman still keeps working at it. To be a comic you gotta get work or you starve. And that s the whole problem today or anytime. It s having to get one Job another Job. It s one fighters constant. It s a rough last year Youngman travelled a half million Miles in the . And Canada to do More than 220 engagements in top nightclubs television talk show guest shots appearances on network variety shows roasts and specials performances on cruises to the West indies and the coast of Mexico. And scores of one fighters and one shot ters sales meetings Trade shows conventions break fasts lunches banquets country clubs colleges hotels and concerts. Nothing is too Remote he says. I can go any where play any Date for any kind of As one wag put it when a phone rings in Henny s Vicinity he s Likely to yell answer it it could be a Job " he acts As his own agent from his desk in the dining Alcove off the living room. The desk supports a Mound of letters notes Bills memos records cards phone books newspaper clippings books printed flyers and the Telephone with three different trunk lines. He also has an apartment in Miami Beach. Youngman s recent appearance in the other end an intimate Greenwich Village club is a whole new thing the club s been after him for a Long time. I think he s sort of Camp with the kids these Days says Paul Colby the owner. Sure Well get some of the tie and jacket crowd but you la see plenty of jeans As Youngman enthused i play colleges now and they love it. I guess i m working my third or fourth generation of people. It s great. These kids have never heard these jokes before. All they know Are the younger Guys who get up on stage and talk almost a half Century Youngman s image has remained remarkably constant the violin for prop us Only and on which he occasionally plays a few bars of when a phone rings in Henny s Vicinity he s Likely to yell answer it it could be a Job smoke gets in your eyes and the Snappy jokes from an inexhaustible Reservoir of laugh producers told in a machine gun Monotone. He s enjoyed an enormous surge of publicity with a Brief appearance on Telephone firing off six jokes a minute and popularizing the new York Telephone company s dial a joke Campaign. He got three million Calls including transoceanic Calls from Australia the month he was working. Recently the new yorker Magazine ran a full length profile on is of the old a neurotic school a new York newspaper critic penned. Watching him you Don t have to worry about him not being funny. And you know he knows he s going to be. It makes him comfortable to be around and s lines May not go around the Block. The Monarch of one liners does t have time for All that by the time you be either laughed or groaned at a quip he s already two jokes past that one maybe three. Down through the years he has collected jokes categorized them and stored them in his memory. Pick a subject almost any subject and Henny Youngman will find the lighter Side of it usually in 25 words of less i got a brother in Law i Don t say he s a thief he finds things before people lose Guy says doctor i have a ringing in my ears. What la i do he says Don t answer " doctor Calls. Mrs. Jones your Check came Back yes doctor so did my arthritis " i told my Mother in Law my House is your House so she sold i just got Back from a pleasure trip. Took my Mother in Law to the my wife went to the Beauty parlor and got a mud pack. For two Days she looked Good. Then the mud fell s a Light eater. Soon As it s Light she starts to eat she ran after the garbage Man and said am i too late for the garbage?1 he said no jump in " apparently the feminist movement has no objection to his anti wife humor. Youngman commented no they laugh. I do most of the jokes they relate to and i m not vicious. See there s a certain Way of doing he s been married to Sadie Cohen for 49 years. People ask the secret of our Long marriage. My wife and i go to a Lovely romantic restaurant twice a week. A Little candlelight a Little wine. She goes tues Days i go How does his wife respond to the humor aimed at her she responds very nicely. She does t care what i say give her the Money. She s used to it by now you know my wife just had plastic surgery. I Cut up All her credit cards. I just found a new birth control device. My wife takes off her Youngman has Strong time tested opinions of humor. To like a joke it has to be believable. For me every joke is really a cartoon you can see it. Like a Man says to another Man can you Tell me How to get to Cen trial Park no All right i la Mug you Here. Or two Guys in a gym one putting on a Girdle. Since when have you been wearing a Girdle since my wife found it in the Glove compartment of our car if it s too Tough to visualize or it s not part of your ii bring up a subject and you la probably remind me of something. I probably know thousands of jokes " photos by Arthur Travis life what the hell Good is it i play for the masses. I Tell easy jokes you Don t have to think. Some people get embarrassed because my jokes Are Corn they re Plain they make people laugh. I Don t do a joke unless i laugh at it. Jokes Are submitted to me by my writers and if i Don t laugh at it i won t Tell it. See i m a joke Youngman was born in London but grew up in Brook Lyn. His parents emigrated from Russia. I be played the palladium six seven times he said and was hailed by London critics As a Stampede of his desire to win laughs manifested itself while he attended Brooklyn s manual training High school which expelled him for clowning. So he transferred to vocational Trade school and became a Printer. All the while at my Mother s insistence i studied the violin for nine years and eventually organized a Small band playing for dances weddings social functions. I used to Clown and Mug a lot As the people danced by me and cracked jokes. I continued this when we were booked into a new Jersey nightclub. One night the master of ceremonies failed to show up and the Boss had me go out and Tell jokes. The audience liked it so much that i was hired As a stand up comedian and i be been one Ever those were the Days when heckling was an expected part of the comedian s routine and Youngman found himself caught up. Here Are a few standby remarks Youngman uses to stifle obstreperous people who try to get into the act you la make Money someday your ignorance is comical. The last time i saw you you were in a Nightmare. I hate your face both of them. I looked High and Low for you. I did t look Low the tall Skinny kid from Brooklyn stepped into the Kate Smith radio hour in the Early 1930s and made an in Stant hit. With his rapid delivery of unrelated one line gags he once spewed 26 jokes in a six minute Mono Logue Youngman introduced a new dimension in radio comedy. From there he went on the top clubs and to shows tossing out one liners with aplomb. Here Are some others from his stockpile my son is at the awkward stage. He likes to Park but he does t know i said to a Guy do you know where Broadway is he said yes and walked so you want to know How to beat the first four races at the track Don t show up till the a Holdup Man comes out of the theater Points a gun at the cashier and says i did t like the picture give me everybody s Money Back " Youngman s classic take my wife please is so familiar that the audience practically recites it with him. And what s More they re still laughing. The stars and stripes Page 15
