European Stars And Stripes (Newspaper) - May 23, 1985, Darmstadt, Hesse                                Page 14 the stars and stripes May 1985 columns fhe Joys of a smoke free existence by Russell Baker since using this space recently to describe the miseries afflicting me since 1 stopped smoking 361 Days i have been inundated with expert almost All the experts agree that the constant strangling sensation i suffer in neck and Waist is not the result of a mysterious shrinkage of As i but is caused by food fuelled expansion of the fatty this strikes me As is it sensible to suppose that a stomach might crave More food intake simply because a set of lungs with which it happened to be associated suddenly had its smoke Cut off its my guess that the average stomach Doest care one Way or the other about the lungs smoke but even if it would it go on a food Binge because the smoke stopped stomach and after arc close neighbors Liv ing next door to lungs that Are constantly full of smoke must affect a stomach the Way living across the Street from a burning dump would affect you and i we might be pleased when the City stopped the but we  Start eating thanksgiving dinner three times daily for a whole would we enough of physiological though thou Sands have submitted diagnoses of gluttony and Only one mentioned the baffling perpetual cold that set in when the cigarettes he docs not blame the cold on but his report is not cheering my Only Hope for Relief lies in years of rinsing the sinus passages daily with a Saltwater the he is difficult and Unco fort not a he declines to but suggests i seek medical i think since he says the procedure May have to be repeated daily for years to eliminate a really Wellen trenched cold like most people can get used to a constantly running but having Salt water pumped through your sinus tubes Day after Day for years seems a dispiriting Way to spend a i am not stubbornly resisting All advice to though i believe it is i am not too intolerant to i should note that i have always been a modest Cater and remained so after giving up to be after conquering the i increased food consumption slightly for health reasons having been unnaturally thin All my 1 was afraid of suffering a dangerous weight loss once i stopped taking in the four or five pounds of smoke that i had been carrying around for to guard against i added a bowl of Oatmeal topped with sliced banana to my Normal began eating dessert at lunch usually a not terribly big slice of mince just before consuming a bowl of ice Cream once in a a toasted muffin with butter and Blackberry followed on very rare occasions by a couple of pieces of cold Fried one morning after having to Call my two grown sons to help me get my Belt i acceded to their argument that the diet experts might know what they were talking about and decided to test after All the other miseries that had resulted from giving up surely i could put up with i did not undertake this popular american discipline in Good but with feelings of profound malice toward All those antismoking health zealots who had assured me that giving up the Butts would make me feel like a million they haunt told me about the perpetual cold that would had they so it want surprising that they haunt bothered to and by the youre going to suffer distress around the Waist and neck due to acute fabric Why should 1 have expected them to and while were at maybe wed better mention that youre never going to be Able to eat a decent meal or even enjoy a bowl of ice Cream followed by a Nice Jam covered muffin and a few pieces of Fried Chicken just before for the last two i have been living exclusively on tuna skim unsweetened Tea and a sustaining sense of superiority Over the Man four offices Down who still id love to catch him lighting a cigarette in a restau rant so i could make a scene demanding my right to Dine in smoke free there has to be some Reward for All the misery caused by giving up Doest there no at least Ive lost All craving for tobacco and shall probably never smoke and int it great tuna pain in the running nose just c 1985 new York times news service you get fhe last make if Good by James Kilpatrick the fervent Hope of every speaker in a debate and every lawyer in a trial is this to get in the last telling writers share the same in any Given communication a a Book a Short theme or a newspaper editorial the opening sentence of without an inviting read ers Are lost before one has a Chance to win but concluding sentences Are just As one of the tricks of the Trade is to end a piece of writing on an accented if you can work it with a Long Vowel or a so much the almost at i picked up recent editorials from three to ranking the Wall Street journal had a piece on Ohio bunk the final paragraph poses a series of rhetorical this is the last word will we a full explanation of what went wrong the Washington Post comments that Industrial democracies need to keep their economies safely and prosperously Dull that never so easy As it the new York times lectures the cites police com missioner he has already shown willingness to Stop that deserves to be matched with bold new resolve to maintain order on the it was not by i can Tell that the last words were looks and suppose the journals editorial writer had ended his piece in this fashion will we have a full explanation of what went wrong during governor celestes administration the sentence would have lost its the posts editorial writer could have concluded with his penultimate paragraph its the recent hints or trouble ahead that have sharpened the administrations two Tion words in a sequence would have put on a the times editorial almost wound up with Praise for a plan to offer scholarships to College students wanting to be come police officers they would bring a regular infusion of outsiders into the parochial police it would have been a miserable last not Long ago i came across a sentence in an article about country living the barn was overrun with wasps and theres nothing wrong with that but try a recasting for cadence the barn was infested with hornets and now we Are marching along on a acrylic in switching from wasps and hornets to hornets and nothing of meaning has been but an accented last syllable has been like every other Prosodic this trick can be worked to death used it please in a reckless and impulsive i recently asked readers to let me know of usages they found especially it never occurred to me that so Many of you Are so monumentally i cannot Cope with the so if i dont know that you Are thanked toneqf7hat Mohave and i i no until of Stieas thong today crossword by Eugene Sheffer across 1 actress Thompson 5 party 8 spoken 12 Burden 13 at present 14 give in 15 Many Day 16 Oblong 17 director Kazan 18 fertilizer part 20 Walesa land 22 red Deer 23 Balder dash 24 stuff in 27 Anagram of Triangle 32 2010 computer 33 charged particle 34 new prefix 35 Anagram of Triangle 38 like some cheeses 39 Wallach or Whitney 40 tavern 42 despot 45 soaked 49 b boy 50 not at Home 52 split 53 rejoin 54 Oclock jump 55 supple ments 56 work units 57 conducted 58 London end Down 1 to serial 2 part of 3 song for two 4 teeming 5 up undecided 6 foot feature 7 barter 8 wild cat 9 Anagram of Triangle 10 Tennis term solution time 27 answer to 523 yesterdays 11 pipe material 19 thus 21 hockey 24 greek x 25 campaigned 26 Anagram of Triangle 28 Mauna 29 signed up 30 born 31 deity 36 Gazelles 37 tonics partner 38 Painter Wyeth 41 Flemings 42 not feral 43 european River 44 plane or saw 46 Holland Structure 47 24 and 31 48 Lair 51 French article 24 25 32 35 42 3t 56 26 43 22 36 37 27 28 33 50 54 57 29 51 23 45 41 17 52 55 58 34 46 30 47 31 48 523 Hubert the cleaned out a lot no longer Wear notice my ice bar closet