European Stars And Stripes (Newspaper) - May 23, 1985, Darmstadt, Hesse                                Page 8 the stars and stripes May 1985 the Pentagon has proclaimed thursday military spouses these stories look at the phenomenon of military women married to civilian photos by Lon Cabot Paul Rodriquez talks with his at her and Frank firmature displays a shirt he redesigned to reflect his feelings about being a male dependent the male ego takes a shot by Lon Cabot Naples Bureau chief Italy Call themselves an unrecognized and they say the time for recognition has there the husbands of women on Active some say there discriminated against because the Navy has no support groups for others say Treyve found themselves the objects of social and professional Ive talked with a lot of men who Are spouses of Active duty and the stories Are usually the said Frank the coordinator of overseas duly support and Media programs for the family service Center at the naval support youre at a party and someone what do you do for Many husbands stationed with their Niy self included at one finding a Job is an so the answer in a there was a time when i told people i was a garbage collector just so i  have to go through explaining what House husband 1 knew what the reactions would firmature casual insults whose is a lieutenant commander assigned to the Allied forces he in and other spouses of Active duty women in the Naples area said reactions to their House husband status have ranged from casual snobbery to outright you really  believe some of the reactions i got when i told people 1 stayed at Home and took care of our son while my wife firmature for a lot of being a male spouse or dependent really puts the shoe on the other said Jerry a military customs inspector for the Naples his wife is an electronics technician assigned to an area the male ego really takes a shot when youre in a position where you cant work and have to rely on your wife to bring in the he males arc traditionally prepared for a professional not a Domestic said and it can be very traumatic for some men to recognize and come to terms with the fact that they have been placed in a Domestic that especially True when most people give the reception they do to men who find themselves in that firmature said since Hes been a dependent Hes come to resent some of the ways the Navy unintentionally slights the nonmilitary Ive had to fill out paperwork and use the Blank for dependent wife because there is nothing that recognizes the dependent husband in terms of he then theres the slogan Navy wife toughest Job in the wheres the slogan for the Navy husband although firmature said there Are Many areas where military society fails in identifying the role of the Navy he said its up to the individuals concerned to become a catalyst for besides keeping a sense of which is a must for any Man who carries the Label of dependent there Are things you can do to change the stereotypes of kept Man or that a dependent spouse is a he when melodic and i were in i became a charter member of the Navy officers spouses which was called the Navy officers wives i was also the second male member of a spouses club in new Orleans when were were stationed firmature Hast always met with Success in breaking Down the Romanas the spouse stereotype in Navy we were in California and i saw an Art exhibit at the officers club i paint for a Hobby and asked How i could get my paintings displayed and was told that the exhibit was sponsored by the Navy officers wives since i was not a i could not join or have my paintings he the Navy really should try a Little harder to stay away from gender when referring to the said his i find myself lining out countless forms that ask for my wife name and writing in i think the navys Lack of recognition of less gender oriented terms has also created some confusion even in social Ive received invitations to official functions addressed to and Melodie she if a Lack of male support groups and the social stigma of being a male spouse pose problems for Only some employment opportunities overseas can be called the rallying Point for most male there Are very few said Paul whose is a Petty officer first class in the naval i support activity personnel support i thought being a there  be that big a problem finding a Job in the Naples but the majority of jobs in an overseas environment Are he although Paul Rodriquez eventually found a Job and now works operating supervisor in the support activity s enlisted he said even after finding work men have an adjustment to As a dependent i dont get the benefits people working alongside me get because my wife is drawing those benefits As far As the Navy is our Gas coupons and other ration cards Are in my wife not even in still a i believe that male spouses civilian men married to Active duty women Are becoming a larger group in the Navy and the military in said Frank but there afraid to come so to there Are All sorts of reasons for he the slogans about the Navy the fact that there is no Navy husbands club or similar support group and even something As trivial As an advertisement for the Federal women where they throw in an aside to recognize the firmature said through his position at the naval support activity family service Hes met other people who have come to recognize the need for male support groups similar to wives weve put out feelers and Are waiting for a response from the Community to the idea of starting some kind of male support said Frank a family assistance specialist with the there has never been an established program in the Navy that could respond to the needs of dependent until programs Are designed to bring some support to firmature and Jerry Smith men must create their own support earned three degrees education has been firmature when i  find a Job where my wife was i went to Ive earned two bachelors degrees and a masters degree in Between i get involved in the local Smith in one of my main sources of support is a local Dalian running club i belong i also am an so that puts me into with a lot of Smith and All come to terms in their own Way wifi male dependent there who live and break under the Peculiar stress some men feel in the unrecognized one of my neighbors was happily married to a woman on Active duty with the said a civilian male spouse who asked not to be but one after a Long stretch of not finding a Job and being a he ended up getting physically violent with his wife for the first time in their then he turned picked up his walked out and went Back to the if there been some kind of support he could look to to Deal with his maybe that  have