European Stars and Stripes (Newspaper) - October 03, 1985, Darmstadt, Hesse Thursday october 198s the stars and stripes Page 11 aim Landers letters dear Ann Landers if i remember right about 10 years ago you took a poll of your readers acting if you had it to do Over again would you have Chil Dren i seem to re Call that a shockingly High percentage responded with a re sounding i think it is time to rerun the results of that poll. Having babies is Back in style especially among affluent couples in their 30s. Many of these women who enjoyed lucrative exciting careers have decided they want it All they have no idea of the responsibilities and restrictions Small children will impose on their lives. At Best motherhood is an invisible Low status occupation with no pay and no time off. Worse yet a lot of hard work and Good intentions can result in failure. How do 1 know ten years ago i was pregnant when 1 Learned of your study in a Magazine article. To be fair i already was experiencing doubts about my aptitude for motherhood. Ten years later i am certain that i never should have had a child. I really tried and am still trying but the boy hat been hyperactive All his life and it is More than i can handle. This Type of child estimated to comprise 10 percent of All male children sleeps very Little talks constantly and requires around the clock supervision. After 10 years of hard work there arc still Many places 1 can t take him because he won t behave properly and ends up embarrassing me. I see signs of improvement from time to time people have congratulated me on the wonderful Job i m doing but it does t fed wonderful. When i think of what it s going to take out of me to get this child through High school Well i Don t want to think about it or i could t face the next Day. Television magazines and movies por tray the raising of children As a rewarding joyous and effortless process. Never do peo ple see that if something goes wrong it can Aho be the most painful lingering and Public of failures. Ann please print this letter. I can t Bear to think of the Young women out there who Are ready to throw Way hard won opportunities on a whimsical impulse to have a baby. If my letter saves even one person from paying the Price i paid it will be Well Worth the Effort it took to write it. I can t use my name for obvious reasons. Please sign me bummed out in West Palm Beach Der . children can drive a per son crazy but under competent professional super Teton and proper medication they can by calmed Down considerably. I Hope your son is being cared for by a knowledgeable paediatrician. Motherhood is not for a Crone. Women who Don t want children should marry men to whom parenthood is not important. Neither should fed guilt. So women can Joggle a family and a demand ing career but it is enormously draining. For you i recommend counselling to help you Cope and an organization called parents Anonymous. At the support group meetings you la meet Mirror a Gea of yourself and feel better. For information on How to join and where these grows meet write to parents Anonymous 22330 Hawthorne bll., suite 208, Tomyce Calif. 90505. Pum Calton including inserts or . Don not commute Ento yemeni by it department of my or the Start end sir Lei of the products or Ter Voct advertised. Everything advertised in the pub Chon that by made i Tor Purdian use or Naa Naai to Ghoul regard to race color Reboton sex. National origin ago marital to tuft pin Cal Han Teap. Loftt that Munoa. Or any other non mar Lector of pie pure hair Tow or Aaron. Miary address the Start and Marten Apo 09311 Mer Illonal mat Tom Stan and Stripe. Pot fac 11 10 34, d-4mo farm tall 11, Germany. Tat get Holm civilian Hiss Oil military Darmstadt Airstrip 2371 741. 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