European Stars And Stripes (Newspaper) - December 19, 1985, Darmstadt, Hesse Columns the dog Days of a Tennessee Winter past by John Windrow stall columnist let us take a Brief respite from the great Christmas greed hype and reflect for a moment on Winters gone by. For several christmases in succession Santa Claus brought me a gun. A .22 single shot Rifle a single barrel Shotgun the next year a double barrel. The Lolly old Elf would never Spring for an automatic. I was t stupid i knew my old Man was the Lolly old Elf and i took it up with him. Forget it Saint Nick said running an oily rag through his own double barrel automatics shoot up too much Money. They la make you a Lousy shot and you la go broke buying we hunted by night pursuing the wily Raccoon. We had a dog Man named neck twister Byers who supplied the dogs. Neck twister with dogs was like Harp Marx with women. He simply could t leave Hern alone. He lived in a Small Green House set up on blocks by the Railroad track. _ i visited him one Day to borrow a Coon. He always had a Freezer full. I wanted to have a Coon barbecued for a party and had no Coon of my own. Neck twister could also get you White whiskey for a party but thai was a sideline. Dogs and Coons were his passion. Neck twister took considerable time showing me no less than 24 different hounds that were tied to and around his House. He had six living in a junked car three nestled Down under the Hood where the engine used to be and three tied in the trunk. The hounds red Bones Black and tans Blue ticks and walkers loved neck twister As much As he loved them. They set up a baying howling and roofing at the sight of him that could be heard clearly in several neighbourhoods. I noticed one Large White shaggy dog tied to a Small tree. He could t have made a Rabbit dog much less a Coon hound. What s he for neck twister i said. Neck twister grinned and shifted his weight from one foot to the other. He weighed More than 225 and this took some time. Finally he said i got that one Tor a Yard dog. He Don t he let me pick out a Coon from his Freezer. I took a Small one not wanting to appear greedy and he worried that i was t going to have enough. I took the Coon to a lame Man named earthy Murphy who barbecued Coons with his own secret sauce. It was considered a Mark of status in West Tennessee to have your Coon sent out. To Barbecue one at Home was Small time. I went out Hunting with neck twister one Winter night when Nasa astronauts were on the Moon. He showed me a hollow Cypress tree that he had shot a Bob tailed Coon out of. Hunters locate the Coon in the tree by shining a flashlight and looking for the animal s eyes. They Flash in the dark like flames. The Hob tailed Coon had been very hard to find Nick twister said because he put his paws Over his eyes every time neck twister shined the Light up in the tree. He showed me a Pond where a Coon had climbed on one of his dogs stood on the hound s head and drowned him. What was that dog s name i asked. Zeke neck twister said quietly. There was almost a tear in his voice. We sat on a High Bluff hanging our feet Over the River below us and talked about the astronauts who were on the Moon that night. We could hear Nec Twisler s dogs running a Trail. They chased the Coon a Long time but they never treed him. He hit the River on pm neck twister said. What do you think about those astronauts up there i said. I pointed up to the cold White Moon Over the Woods. To d be All right to go up there if you made it Back neck twister said. Everybody d Wanna know he was quiet for a moment. But boy he said if you took the wrong step and fell off it d be Irene goodnight Irene i la see you in my dreams. The last time i was in Tennessee i saw neck twister. He had finally grown too fat to Hunt Mcl he d sold All his dogs. Since i be gotten a Little age on me i Don t like to kill anything anymore. I Don t Hunt. But the Winters Aren t what they used to be. Good manners Are burning up Over smoking by miss manners United feature Syndicate Are you going to behave yourselves now or do you want miss manners to Call in the police it is not miss manners custom to resort to such harsh threats. She has always believed that Courtesy kindness and an occasional deadly look with a raised Eyebrow Are weapons enough with which to regulate Ordinary human behaviour. But the Issue of smoking has inspired such widespread unacceptable manners in both smokers and non smokers for so Long that miss manners would be relieved to have regulation of smoking made a matter of Law As Many people arc suggesting. She is More than ready to turn her attention to More complicated problems. She is however bothered by the idea that this would be a Public acknowledgement of the failure of our society to observe elementary rules of etiquette in the interests of peace and Harmony. Have we really sunk so Low that we cannot practice simple toleration and consideration of others unless required by Taw it would seem so. Miss manners is hard put to say who is behaving worse those who insist upon offending other people with their smoke or those who insist that Only rudeness a a humiliation toward smokers will Clear the air. It is True that the greater Burden of consideration ought to be on smokers. Subjecting other people to the effects of one s pleasures is rude and miss manners Hopes hat so those filling the air with noise Are paying attention. Earphone Are a marvelous solution for those who wish to enjoy their own taste in music privately in Public and there is no excuse at All for the broadcasting of foreground or background music in any Public area. But since it was discovered that smoking is bad for the health non smokers including Many sex smokers have taken on an air of righteousness that makes their otherwise legitimate objections highly offensive. Minding one s own business is not exactly the Strong suit in this society right now where Many people Are amazed to find that friends and even strangers Are not grateful for unsolicited criticism of their weight eating and exercise habits clothes and hairstyles. It is also a great Deal easier to Settle conflicts on the superficial level of manners than to fight it All out As a matter of morals. In More Civili de times it was always understood that smoking should not be done in the presence of non smokers. There were times and places to smoke and even smoking jackets so that smokers could go among non smokers afterwards without bringing the smell of smoke with them. In those Days smokers were referred to As gentlemen and non smokers As gentlemen smoked in their smoking rooms or after the ladies had left the table. If one did wish to smoke in a lady s presence he asked her permission politely with the understanding that the permission could easily and politely be denied. No gentleman blew smoke into a lady s face saying if you Don t like it but then no lady grabbed a cigarette out of a gentleman s Mouth shouting i Don t care if you kill yourself pig but Stop polluting my when ladies began smoking too or began smoking openly manners were cast aside. Miss manners suggest we bring them Back. That Means that smokers should generally smoke privately and that areas should be designated in which they can comfortably do so. It Means that if they do want to smoke in front of a non smoker they should ask do you mind if i smoke and cheerfully accept the reply. But it also Means that that reply or a request that an already lit cigarette be extinguished should be made politely. Rudeness is unacceptable and it should not be necessary to claim an allergy. One should Only need to say i m so sorry but smoke bothers dear miss manners please Tell us How to eat oysters correctly fresh or stewed. Gentle Reader it is difficult to eat anything correctly when you Are stewed. Raw oysters Are eaten whole with a teens Weensy Oyster Fork with which you rip it from its Shell which you grip firmly in the left hand. Oysters encountered in soups Are eaten whole on the soup spoon. Those found on plates As opposed to shells or bowls Are eaten with a Fork. Dear miss manners my cleaning Udy who has been working or me for 27 Yean coming in twice a month is retiring. Could you please Tell me what would be an appropriate gift if i give her Money How much should i give her Money would probably be Best As she is difficult to buy for. Gentle Reader if you Don t know what would please her after 27 years As her employer How should miss manners know who never met her that is Why in the business world we use Money. Miss manners would consider six months wages a minimum and would really like you to consult with her other employers to pm Duce among you an amount she could live on. Even though this is a business relationship it is a very Long one and it would also be Nice if you gave her some Small memento in addition to Money. Please try to think what Type of thing you have that she May have admired. And Bear in mind that those who clean your Good things Are Apt to recognize what you consider Quality. Feeling incorrect address your etiquette questions to miss manners in care of the stars and stripes Apo 09211, . Forces. December 19,1985 stripes Magazine 3
