European Stars And Stripes (Newspaper) - March 13, 1986, Darmstadt, Hesse                                Columns animal Royalty is different from you and me by John Windrow staff columnist when called to task for straying from the orthodox teachings of chairman Mao Deng Xiaoping once said that it does t matter if a cat is White or Black As Long As it catches mice. That came to mind recently when i went to a sumptuous cat show in Frankfurt. Cat fanciers from several nations got together to ooh and a Over felines of All hues. It was my first cat show. I did t know much about cat people. I know horse people. Horse people have that High headed Toothy look and pick up their Knees when they walk. They travel in Small circles while they toss their Fine Heads and Grin at each other. They Wear Short Coats and breeches that puff out above the knee. They drink from Silver cups. They drive sports cars. I know dog people. Dog people Wear hats with fertilizer or chewing tobacco labels and name their dogs old Blue or Elroy or yeller  they drink Beer out of the can. They Are Given to throwing Back their Heads and Yelling Hook where git pm Elroy and other crazy things like that. They Are always scratching themselves As Are their dogs. They travel by night by pickup truck. Even though cat people were new to me it was not difficult to pick them out of the crowd As i came up from the a Bahn and moved toward the exhibition Hall. Cat people look a Little More Well a Little More domesticated than the rest of us. Cat people have a Well fed secure look As if they spend Many of their Days curled up in rocking chairs in front of sunny windows. They wrap themselves in comfy shawls and scarves. The men Wear cushy Tweed Caps and floppy warm sweaters. Cat people appear contented As if they could sleep from morning to lunch nibble at a Small plate of tuna and then Roll Over and doze until Tea time. As is their wont the cat people had jammed a great number of themselves into a rather snug place. They rubbed shoulders and hips As they milled about the exhibition Hall every one pretending to ignore All his Fellows. Cat people have a certain aloofness. On the Way in i passed a Man coming out who was carrying an enormous bag of Kitty litter. Just inside the door people were Selling cat collars cat scratching posts cat pins to Wear on one s cat sweater cat pillows filled with Catnip and All manner of cat food and cat drink. I even saw a child Licking a cat Lollipop. I scanned the room looking for a woman i had often read about but never met. I figured she would be there. Some dowdy eccentric who would one Day be found dead in her apartment with 63 cats All of them mentioned in her will. She was quiet the neighbors would say. Mostly she kept to  i read that Story at least three times a year on the wires filed from various Points on the Globe. If she was there i could t pick her out. Long lines of cages divided the room into aisles some Lovely Champion cat in each Cage. Blue Point siamese cats Reddish tint turkish Angora cats fancy cats and fat cats. There must have been 200 in the room but i heard not one meow. They spread themselves in their padded cages like very expensive carpets and were silent. 1 wondered if they were Tranquili Zed like High Price baseball players. On a stage under spotlights a group of judges in knee length White Coats was perusing Beautiful cats. They held each one beneath the Light and gazed at it like cat worshipping ancient egyptians. The master of ceremonies resplendent in his Tuxedo announced Creme dream Smokey toy who Hung in the judge s hands like a Long Gray Feather Boa. Ribbons and trophies were handed out while an adoring crowd applauded politely. They had a bar. I ordered a Beer and watched the judging. I thought about a great dirty White Bull of a torn cat i used to have. I named him Ajax after the greek hero of the Trojan War. Ajax who rescued the body of Achilles. Ajax would saunter off for weeks at a time and return covered with bloody gashes and scars his mighty ears chewed to ribbons. Ajax came Home dragging rabbits not mice rabbits. There were Little a axes on every farm within 5 Miles of our place. One cold Gray morning Ajax wandered off never to return. Of Ajax i thought As i nursed my Beer what would you think if you could see this on the Way out a Man was giving away turkish Angora Kittens. They were As Beautiful As the Blush on a Young girl s face but not one looked As if it could catch a mouse. I passed them by. What is father s duty and what is extra credit by miss manners United feature Syndicate dear miss manners i have observed for Over the past two years the relationship of a divorced father with his two out of state children. The father has sent the children $175 per month not Only on time but months ahead of time so no need would arise on their part. He has phoned his children weekly in a sincere attempt to have a positive influence on their lives. He has arranged and paid for plane fare for Christmas easter and summer visits. When he lost his Job no one asked him How he was. He received threats of jail from the children s Mother if payments should Stop. Don t you think at least a thank you note should be sent in acknowledgement of the child support payments i think it is a definite Lack of manners on the part of the receiving parties to say the least. Gentle Reader Why does miss manners think you Are in love with the divorced father it comforts her to believe that he has someone near to him appreciating his steadiness and commiserating with him. But do not take that As agreement with you that the gentleman s children and former wife ought to be writing him thank you letters for child support. Miss manners will go so far As to say that it is rude of the former wife to threaten him when he has always been faithful in meeting his obligations and unfeeling to show no sympathy with his professional plight. Financial and emotional support for one s children whether one is married or divorced is an obligation of being a Parent. Are the children in the habit of thanking their Mother for rearing them or for that matter does the father thank her for doing so miss manners Hopes that All grown children eventually reflect on the Devotion of their parents and thank them for it. But a youngster who does so would be making the pathetic Assumption that the father is doing a favor rather than his natural duty. Dear miss manners a mature educated cosmopolitan above average income Man frequently invites a similarly situated lady to dinner at various Nice restaurants occasionally the most expensive but usually the class just below that. Lady is aware that the right hand column of the menu is no restriction. Sometimes a usable Coupon is available to the Man "50 percent off on second dinner or order two second is free. I m sure you be seen them. Lady objects Don t use a Coupon when you Are with me. Save them for your Chintzy  Etc. Is it demeaning to be the guest at an unannounced Coupon dinner should the guest be informed beforehand so she can accept or decline the Coupon situation or is it not her concern whether the Check is paid in dollars plastic coupons rubles rupees or whatever satisfies the restaurateur gentle Reader exactly so. You see a lady does not even notice How the Bill is paid unless she is the hostess in which Case the gentleman becomes unaware of How the Bill paying is accomplished so How can she possibly prefer one method Over another dear miss manners twice now a Friend who to the Best of my knowledge is in perfect health waited until dinner was served at my Home and then said i can t eat this i can t eat  at the last moment she expects me to substitute something else. It s embarrassing it s extra trouble and i Don t always have what she wants. Am i supposed to ask her in Advance what she would like or not like and then change my menu or should i just ignore what i think is rude and let her eat whatever is there nothing seems to suit her and my thoughts Are that she should refuse the invitation or else not mention her likes and dislikes. Gentle Reader exactly so. Your Friend must be politely discouraged from imagining that your House is a Public restaurant where she goes principally to eat and can therefore make a Point of selecting what she prefers. When a guest does this on the spot you need not pretend that you have six other selections available. Merely say of i m so sorry and offer something cupboard bread and butter for example or Chicken Broth. Since this particular Friend has made her rudeness a habit miss manners supposes we can count two instances As a habit you might rephrase your next invitation i m having some people in to dinner a week from saturday and i d so love to have you but i know you have problems with food. Would you come in at say 9 30, and join us for Coffee that Way we d at least get to enjoy your company without your having to pretend you can eat what i m  have an etiquette question address letters to miss manners care of the stars and stripes Apo 09277, . Forces. March 13,1986 stripes Magazine