European Stars And Stripes (Newspaper) - September 11, 1986, Darmstadt, Hesse Page 14 columns the stars and stripes thursday. September 11, 1986 today s crossword Roy Cohn missed by his enemies Brand Rooney it s a great american tradition to say Nice hings about anyone who halt just died no matter How much that person was disliked in life. When someone Dies they Are eulogized by their friends if they have any and at heir funeral by a creative Clergyman. We Al left along with it. Death is so final and so sad we have no interest in adding anything negative to the even. When a prominent politician Dies his bitterest ene Mies find Nice things to say about him. When a gang land Leader is shot Down someone at his funeral Al ways suggests he was a Good family Man who loved his wife and children. Then the lawyer Roy Cohn died and it looked Tor a while As Fieve Iyono was going to make an exception in i Case and say what a disgusting human being he really was. Then sure enough someone found Good things today about Roy Cohn the new York times columnist William satire who is always unpredictable and often Brilliant came to his defense. Safire who became friends with Cohn after the lawyer supplied him with details for a Story he was writing Yean ago said he was angry or at least wrote As though he was angry because a new York court disbarred Cohn on june 2j, when everyone knew he was near death and unable to defend himself. That was satire s feeling. It was the opinion of a great Many other people that it would have been monumental injustice if Roy Cohn had by dying cheated his profession of the Opportunity to Tell the world with specific details How unethical a lawyer he Hod been for most of his life. The world will most miss Roy Cohn because it is so Short of thoroughly detestable people like hint. Not Many come alone who Are As unremitting by Dis likable As Roy Cohn was All his life open the worst people any of us know make it difficult for us to hate hem because we hear from someone who knows them belief than we that they secretly adopt backward children or give Large amounts of Money to the local animal Hospital hating someone can be a thoroughly satisfying experience and it s always a disappointment when a person we dislike turns out to have Good qualities that mitigate heir detectability. Roy Cohn never Dis appointed those of us who detested him and we re going to miss him for that. It s apparent from the interesting people who were friends of Roy Cohn that Cohn himself was inter Esting. Interesting in t Good enough. Cohn denied he participated in a Witch Hunt that unfairly damaged the Careen of hundreds of Good americans when he was Legal aide to sen. Joseph Mccarthy. Public opinion Long ago found him guilty of thai. He denied tie owed millions of dollars in Back taxes. The irs found him guilty of that. He denied he conned an elderly multimillionaire on his deathbed into signing Over a Clale to a group of people beaded by Cohn. The new York stale supreme court found him guilty of that. He denied he was a homosexual suffering from aids. Death was an effective rebuttal to that last denial. Our estimates of people blur and soften on the occasion of their deaths. We prefer to be charitable on the last occasion and say Wanai we know is untrue about them. It s a Nice attribute but to suggest that Roy Cohn was anything less than a bad Guy who spent a lifetime doing bad things in the Legal profession cheapens the value of All the eulogies for All the decent people who have Ever died no insurance against insurance by Russell Baker despite what you hear this is not a service econ omy. It is an insurance Economy. Or Haven t you noticed that no matter what your favorite shop claims to be Selling nowadays what it s really Selling insurance for instance Man goes to buy a Var. It would be the same if he wanted a television set an automobile a vacuum cleaner you name it they re going to sell him insurance on to but this time what he wants is a Var goes to a discount store. One whole Wall is covered with hundreds of television sets All showing the same soap opera and blaring at maximum volume. Sounds like one of the characters was raped recently and another just got Back from being dead Man wanders around hoping a Salesman nil notice him became what does he know about Cri he did t go 10 Mit and needs a lubes wires and Buzzer expert to explain Why four Heads Are belter than two. Apparently however the salesmen could t care less that somebody wants to spend Money. Finally one con descends to waste a Little time with a customer. Remember the High pressure Salesman who thrived Back when americans made fun of the japanese As junk paddlers now we have the Low pressure Salesman. What s the difference Between a two headed Anda four headed Var Man asks. One s got two brads and the other s got Why do some sets Cost three limes As much sothers because they re More Man feels ashamed of himself for exposing the Salesman s ignorance. What if the poor Bird s Boss i watching he could get fired. Best to Case off on the Tough questions. So pointing to the two cheapest machines in sight the customer says which is the better Bay depends which one you Man picks one at random offers a variety of credit cards and is instructed to report to the counter where the wont Salesman in town suddenly shows his line colors. Naturally you la need the absolutely Man s already got so Many insurance policies on consumer goods that he had to rent warehouse space to store the file cabinets con Taining them. Var insurance salesmen Don t easily discourage. You mean to say you d risk total loss of your investment in this Var simply because you Are to cheap to buy a Little insurance Well it s not that i m As Well As pain and mental agony because of ratites As Well As rooster pecking Muskrat nips and Moose brings yes Friend those innocent tool Dag Moose ant lers can do surprising amounts of says you mean i can get All that written in As a rider on the Var insurance for the incredibly Low additional Price of Only $39 per Quarter who can resist that bargain but be remembers thelast thing his family told him when they gathered to bid him goodbye whatever you do of they d said Don t let them Seu you any Man Nicks up his uninjured Var says he s Leav ing beads for the door. Salesman races ahead throw himself to the floor sobs aloud. Apparently his three children need expensive surgery it they Are Ever to walk again but it $ hard to be sure because hundreds of to sets Are All swinging into the next soap opera and maybe the Salesman 13 echoing lines from a father just returned from the dead. In any Case if he says you can t get out without stepping on him Don t be shy. Sissies Don t last Long in an insurance Economy. By Eugen Sheffer across 40taj .i1 like Milieu us vans 42 Clergyman in eggs to 45 sigh. Caunar perhaps distantly 49 stepped it on the Down sheltered to ump n rail Side so Arkle or 13 rooter ama14 a nature w salary 15 bout site h picnic1 to heed out pest 17 Model so Nevada making nerd s6 Singer 18check i inn no recipient Tosuner 9 period at limes place 10 for two. 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