European Stars And Stripes (Newspaper) - January 26, 1987, Darmstadt, Hesse Page 18 the stars and stripes columns & comments today s crossword Scarf Day with Power breakfast by Russell Baker in new York i used to stay in no Power Holdi. Twas awful. Nobody interviewed me for presi or television. Henry Kissinger did t phone with the latest joke. The Village voice did i write me up Wilh an Legani sneer and new York Magazine did not mention me in the same paragraph with Mela owner Nelson Doubleday Media Mogul Sam Newhouse. Super agent Mort Janklow Tel Danler Barbara Walters real estate Biggie Lew Rudin nor in any other paragraph anywhere in its entire gallery of Power. In those Days i was a fool. Then i Learned about Power hotels and life became Worth living. 1 still recall the first time i checked into a hotel with so much Power it could blow Hundred Dollar Bills right out of your Wallet. Shall i Tell Bill Blass you re in town the room clerk asked. It made me a new Man. Don t be Dre sumptuous i said in a voice As merciless As a cracking whip. When i want flunkies to advertise my presence in new York i shall bring my on that visit 1 bought Power clothing on Madison Avenue. It was a thrilling experience. As i entered the shop salesmen seeing my old powerless threads rolled on the floor laughing. On my exit an hour later in Power suit Power shirt Power Necktie Power Trench coat Power socks and Power shoes those same wretches fell upon me com Peting so fiercely to lick my hand that i had to whack them aside with my Brand new Power Cane. I went to see my doctor. Moling my new Power clothing he said his fee had quadrupled since last time and told me to undress. Afterwards he looked grave. Give it to me straight from the shoulder. Doc i told him. How bad is it brain heart liver and lights Aren t As bad As they could be he said but your underwear is metabolism May be draining the Power right out of it. Power surgery perhaps in a Power i laughed. I d simply forgotten to shed la old pow Erless skivvies and slip into the kind of underwear thai makes people snap to. Going Home was a trial. Back in Bergville i missed the Awe that new York accorded Power. The waitresses at the Bergville Ealar Arna still called me Honey members of the town Council looked embarrassed when i came before them to suggest that changing Bergville s name to Villeburn would make the place seem More French thereby increasing its Power. Naturally it was a Relief to get Back to new York where i intended to enjoy the groveling respect of the natives or whatever they arc by eating not Only Power breakfast but also Power lunch just As 1 had seen described in magazines about How to be vital in the big Apple no fool i folks even if i do come from a town that does t have enough sense to go for a Power name. So i rented a Power Limo from a Power rental outfit. You can t arrive for Power fodder in your old Chevy Malibu and Hope to get a Seal anywhere near the Power salad waiter was overcome. You really want Power breakfast he asked. And without any nonsense i snapped. I could t help noticing the amazement on the faces of lesser Breakf asters or fail to hear the whispers racing through the room the Power breakfast you re kid Ding. Do you recognize him. Don t stare Chil Dren Power people Are just like you and later i smiled at the memory of this remark while eating a Power lunch. It reminded me of the famous dialogue Between Ernest Hemingway and Scott Fitzge Rald when Scott poor Scott so Unsay about Power living had said Power Brcak faster Are different from you and me and Ernie always the sourpuss knocking life s higher values replied yes they have More time to waste Reading about How to act when you re on the make in new i left new York right after lunchtime. None of the magazines has said Cyl whether big Lime new Yorken eat Power supper or just Plain supper and 1 dont want to make one of those powerless social mistakes. Lef officials play the percentages by Joe Murray Lufkin Texas from what i read in the letter columns of the big City newspapers it seems that the voters arc somewhat riled by proposed salary hikes for our government officials. Not that it concerns me. I be Long since resolved not to let myself gel upset by politicians thing politicians to preachers being to preachers or boy dogs being boy s the nature of the beast. Besides one thing or another is always out raging the Public and probably much worse than this. Anyway what it is a nine member commission studying the pay scale for Federal officeholders has come up Wilh a generous proposal generous to a fault some would say. Annual salaries of senators and representatives for example would increase from $77 400 to j 135,000. That figures out 10 about a 75 percent hike which May or May not be on a Par with your last raise president Reagan As usual is thinking smaller and has proposed an increase of Only 16 percent. That Way the annual pay of congressmen would remain less than $90,000, More in line with what most americans make. You do male less than $90,000 a year Don t you 1thought so. Intervening in enough a couple of weeks earlier the president had approved a Cost of living increase of just 3 percent for Moat Federal workers and government person Nel. But i a Uppole members of Congress probably need much higher col of Liv tog raise what with to ctr much higher Standard of living. In any Case now that the special commission and the president have put in their two cents Worth allow me to make a suggestion of my own. Personally i have no problem with a base salary of $100,000 for senators and representatives. But let s tie itt Job performance and moreover How Well a particular officeholder is suiting those of us who employ him or her. The employer of course Art the voters and it s in easiest thing in the world to gauge their satisfaction. Those statistics Are updated every time the office is up for election. My idea is this if a member of Congress is elected by say 35 percent of the vote the salary would be is percent of 1100,000, which would amount to s . If the mar Gin was go percent then it d be $60,000, and so on. Any official Good enough to be unopposed would earn the entire is 00,000. The same would apply to the president and members of his administration the vice president Cabinet officers and Agency beads. Whatever use president s percentage in the election that s what their salary percentage would by. Grant id figuring the pay Tor Federal judges would have to be different b that they re confirmed by the Senate and not elected. But no but problem. Simply apply the confirmation percentage to their salary base. Also if at Tome future Lime a judge wanted to try to improve his percentage he could Volunteer for reconfirm n in Hopes of earning a More profitable approval rating. The Only problem he d be running the risk of getting hit Alary Cut or even worse turned out of office. What the Beck though. It s just an idea. Perhaps toe system is Best like in is. Let them take the Money and run no the government and run up the deficit. 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