European Stars And Stripes (Newspaper) - July 28, 1988, Darmstadt, Hesse                                The stars and stripes Page 11 dear Ann Landers this came across my desk at work today. I m sorry i Don t know where it came from or who wrote it. But i thought your read ers might find it interesting and controversial. Your avid fan up North dear avid it is both interesting and controversial. My comment will come later. Thanks for sending it. Sex or sports a recent Survey asked men to choose Between sex or their favorite athletic activity. The results were an Edu cation to say the least. Would you believe that sex came in second with golfers More golfers said that they would gladly forgo the pleasures of the flesh for the Joy of their favorite sport. What s More the golfers were most Adamant in defending their Choice. One golfer s View five hours on 150 acres of perfectly manicured turf breathing fresh air experiencing the excitement of pars and birdies with my Best friends. Compare that to five minutes of sub Par love making with 150 pounds of a not so Well groomed woman who constantly complains about my income and Lack of understanding. While playing Golf your partners give you Praise and encouragement even when you Are not performing Well. I Don t remember this Ever happening in the  dear avid whoever composed that Little wife bashing essay must be several strokes under Par. If his Golf game was As unsatisfactory As his marriage appears to be i m sure he would get some guidance from a . I recommend that he give his marriage at least equal treatment. Dear Ann Landers this letter is in response to "j.a. In  who blamed his maladjustment As an adult on the abuse he received As a child. I am a 74-year-old female. My father beat me with baling wire Palm fronds Rawhide Lasso ropes his Belt and whatever else he Cou a get hold of. As soon As i was handed my grammar school diploma i left Home and never went Back. I was 14. What i endured in order to get a High school diploma would make a three hour movie. By the time i was 42,1 had earned three College degrees. I believe my principal motivation was to disprove my father s admonition you la wind up in the Gutter some  my hatred was so Strong that i vowed to prove him wrong. In addition to graduating Magna cum laude i have writ ten 10 books since i retired from teaching. I do Volunteer work when i m not writing. While in College i Learned Why my father was so brutal. He had killed a Man when i was 6 years old and was not punished. When his psyche could not tolerate the guilt he beat me As an outlet for his anxiety and self loathing. I refused to feel unworthy because i was doing the Best i could. During the depression the Banks closed and i lost my meager savings so i graduated in a dress that was three years old and the wrong color. I guess i should be grateful for the miserable treatment i received at the hands of that cruel Man. It made me a survivor in san Diego dear survivor often when children arc abused they develop All sorts of psychological problems and withdraw. Others fuelled by their anger to succeed become stronger in the broken places. Ira glad you were in that latter category. Congratulations. Los Angeles times Syndicate columnist Landers welcomes your letters. You can write to her in care of the stars and stripes Apo 09211, . Forces smaller stripes for women questioned my wife and i had talked for several years about the possibility of this Absurdity but today i finally saw an example and decided i had to write. My complaint the inequality of the Stripe size on the female uniform. Today i ran into senior master sergeant with the smaller female stripes on the fatigue uniform and it looked absurd. Why must a female military member Wear the smaller stripes my wife made technical sergeant with eight years Active service. During that time she earned two commendation medals and a Wall full of awards. She has just been unofficially notified that she has won the highest award her command can give her for her Job performance and she is in the running for the air Force award for this year. She is also a female and therefore should Wear the 3-Inch stripes. I am proud that she is in the military and it would seem that the military is proud of the fact that she is As Well so Why should she sit at the Back of the bus and Wear smaller stripes the most common argument used is size women Are smaller than men. My wife is 5 feet 7 inches tall and 125 pounds she cannot Wear the female uniform because the sleeve length is too Short. Right now she has the option of wearing the male fatigue uniform but the time is coming when she will no longer have that Choice. There is already a notice circulating around this base that suggests women will be requested to Wear the smaller stripes on the Battle dress uniform when it goes into mandatory use. There is not even a woman s size in this uniform. There Are Many men in the service smaller than my wife yet they Are authorized not required to Wear the larger Stripe. This is sexual harassment. There is no other Way to look at it. I can see no justification for the smaller stripes on women alone. If you feel a need for the smaller stripes put them on anyone wearing a  Small uniform not just women. This Issue has to he looked at now before the uniform Board gets a Chance to make it mandatory. Mark s. Pulver Torrejon a Spain editor s note it. Col. Michael j. Cermele Deputy director personnel programs he Safe re plies enlisted Chevron size is based on general physical size differences Between men and women. The style and sizes of most female uniforms does not accommodate a Standard 4-Inch Chevron. The air Force attempts to satisfy the needs of the majority and the intent was to standardize with one size 4-Inch for men and one  3-Inch for women. Since the 4-Inch Chevron is too Large for most women the 3-Inch Chevron was deter mined As the Standard size for females. This policy was not intended to be discriminatory. Nonetheless Many air Force women share your con Cerns on this Issue. As a result the air Force uniform Board Faub secretariat recently made an out of cd a decision to allow women the option to Wear 3-or 4-Inch chevrons on their Utility uniforms both fatigues men s or women s and bus. The Faub has directed he afm pc to release a policy message on this change to be effective upon receipt. Your Central base personnel office Capo should receive this message within a few weeks. We believe that gender should not be a consideration in the Wear of chevrons. Accordingly we Are staffing a change request for consideration by the Faub that meets in october 1988 to allow Wear of any size Usan approved Chevron on All uniforms regardless of gender. Civil War evokes shame not nostalgia the recent re enactment of the Battle of Gettysburg and its coverage by the press has reinforced a personal concern i have had for Many years regarding our historical treatment of the american civil War. My father was one of few survivors of the initial Marine amphibious Assur t on iwo Jima in Wii. He was severely wounded late in the operation having already witnessed the famous Flag raising immortalized by the iwo Jima memorial statue. While he never spoke of his wartime experiences during my childhood i Learned Early that playful threats of death and pointing of toy weapons were inappropriate excursions into a very serious area. When i was 10, my dad gave me a Book featuring the work of Mathew Brady the civil War photographer who documented the realities of modern warfare. I explicitly remember his presentation that Here was knowledge of Man s capacity for inhumanity to Man to be aware that what was documented was a tragedy of the highest proportion and finally a warning that nowhere was there glory or Triumph in such an event. While my father s lesson was about the waste of wars in general the civil War was an especially Apt example. From the time of this introduction to my present perspective As an air Force no i have consistently seen the civil War As being our country s lowest moment. That a nation founded with a Constitution  Viding a non violent democratic process and the equal rights of All should resort to a bloody fratricidal War As a Way to decide among other things the Issue of slav Ery is simply a grevious tragedy and a dark stain on our history. If those who spend a thousand dollars equipping themselves to relive these Battles do so in mourning Fine. But if any feel a nostalgic longing for imagined heroes i feel Only shame. No War is worthy of Cele bration our civil War least of All. Staff sgt. James Holt Ankara Turkey pen pals we would like to have pen pals. Angle s. Lasola Maria Lasola Baltayan Beach Dumaguet City Negros Oriental Philippines i am a 41-year-old frenchwoman. I would like to have american pen pals of any age. My hobbles Are cooking music travelling movies and meeting people. Colette Harris 64, Boulevard Laenna 44600 Saint Nazarre France i am 27 years old and an aerospace food technician Cook. I would like to write to  ple All Over the world. I collect Stamps Post cards and foreign currency. I enjoy All sports and Long walks along the Beach. Andrew Gray 487 Csc Syf try Apo . . 09048 please include my name in your pen pal column. I am 19 years old. Almay. Baidel Paraiso la Libertad Zamboanga Del Norte 7704 Philippines i would like to have pen pals. I am 20 years old. Lendon Omectin est aka Lubuk Tulay Dipolo City Philippines i would like to correspond with anybody around the world. I am 11 years old. My hobbits Aro horseback Riding sticker collecting and Riding my Bike. Katrina Wester ats Giessen apon.y., . 09169-4603 please place my name on your list o pen  i am a 49-year-old widow with one son. Lydia Omectin est aka Lubuk Tulay Dipolo City Philippines european edition col Jeffrey m. Cook Usa commander editor in chief it col Suzanne l. Phillips u8af Deputy commander editor in chief Marie Kominicki Mert Proctor Deane b. Mcdermott production manager managing editor circulation manager this newspaper is an authorized unofficial publication or members of the military services overseas. Contents of the stars and stripes Are not necessarily the official views of or endorsed by. The u.8. Government the department of defense or the . European command. 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