European Stars And Stripes (Newspaper) - August 27, 1988, Darmstadt, Hesse                                First Day at school by Randolph e. Schmid associated press for millions of american youngsters one of life s great experiences and great traumas is about to occur the first Day of school. This Milestone adventure into foreign territory sets the stage for Many years of schooling to come and Calm preparation by mom and dad can help ease the Strain Federal educators report. The . Government has put together a Little Booklet entitled Plain talk about when your child starts school which is available at no charge. Write the consumer information Center Pueblo Colo. 81009, and ask for Booklet 505t. You la also get a Catalon including a list of several other booklets with information on helping kids Cope with school. These Are available free or at Low Cost. In the meantime though educators stress the importance of preparing a first time student for school in Advance. But they add Don t make a Federal Case out of  children should be informed ahead of time that they will be starting school but Don t make it a topic of daily conversation during the summer. Treat starting school As part of the Normal course of life something everyone does including your youngster. Children will have questions about school and educators urge answering them honestly. Especially important Are letting the child know How Many Days school will last How Many hours per Day How they will get Back and Forth to school what they will do after school and so Forth. Explain patiently. Older children seem to enjoy frightening younger ones so be aware that this can happen. Take the older child aside and explain his responsibility to help the younger one attend school without fear. Erma Bombeck educators stress that it is important not to give the impression that there is any Choice about going to school. It is Normal for children to say things like i m not going or they can t make me  remain Calm and be reassuring but explain that All children must go to school. Don t argue or waiver just be matter of fact and Calm about school. It does help to give the child some control about things such As asking if they want to Wear sneakers or shoes and what fruit or other dessert they would like packed in their lunch. That can help communicate to the child that you appreciate the Effort they Are making to do what is being asked say educators. Also the departure of a child to school creates extra free time for Many parents time they May enjoy having. Don t Tell the child How much fun you la be having when he is away. While the first few Days of school Are unique try to develop a routine at Home to make the event seem relatively Normal. Starting school May be special but it in t on a Par with Lindbergh s first Solo across the Atlantic. All the Best planning and preparation notwithstanding when the final moment comes the child May balk. If this happens educators say fight Back the annoyance and Send the child to school. If tears flow it is usually at the moment of separation. After that things usually Settle Down. Many a Parent has spent a miserable Day worrying about a child who quickly recovered and spent a Fine first Day at school. Fearful behaviour will usually disappear within a few Days when the child begins to feel comfortable away from Home has Learned to Trust the teacher and makes some new friends. And Mastery of the new situation can be an important Success for the child who is helped to feel better about himself or herself and More secure in the world. The first Day of school is an emotional time for parents and children. A we be always had a philosophy about doling out Money to our kids. Somehow it did t seem fair to Rob them of the poverty they so richly deserve by subsidizing them. That philosophy carries with it guilt that is second Only to stealing the Christmas tree from the orphanage. There Are few parents in this world who can sit by and watch their kids struggle. You say you will but you Don t do it. A father in California shared a Little Vignette that happened in his House recently. His wife came in carrying a Large Box of disposable diapers for their grandchild. They were trying to help out their daughter who according to her father has an entire living room Wall with a monster stereo unit with the Little lights running Back and Forth on a bar dials that swing Back and Forth and speakers that look like something Nasa would use to launch a  their to is Remote control he continues where they can have. Little boxes in each Corner that lets them know what is going on. Like they do when watching baseball games. You see the Pitcher get ready to throw the Ball and the Little squares in the Corners show the Guys on the bases. Our kids have one of  As he was sitting there trying to figure out Why he and his wife Are buying them diapers he hears a conversation he does not believe. His daughter says Mother did you Ever pay me for the shirt and underclothes you bought dad and put on my charge and when we went to the hardware store and i paid for the set of screwdrivers did you reimburse me no mention of the diapers the milk the bread and the flow of countless gifts provided Over the years. In a Way parents have to take some of the responsibility for parents give and kids take what a yours is mine and what a mine is none of your business. We Start Early rewarding them for everything from having Bowel movements to breathing. We ask Little in return. Kids have different priorities. Mine would rather ride around in a non air conditioned car in Phoenix where the summer temperature is 112, than join a health club. Or to put it another Way they d rather change channels than change diapers. Throughout the years we be loaned Money and demand Jed it Back. We be gone through we re doing this because we love you to you la thank us for this  we Tell them they re buying their own self esteem and the Only Way they can pay for it is. On time. They d rather have the Money c 1988 Erma Bombeck Page 16 the stars and stripes saturday August 27,1988