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Publication: European Stars and Stripes Tuesday, January 17, 1989

You are currently viewing page 11 of: European Stars and Stripes Tuesday, January 17, 1989

   European Stars And Stripes (Newspaper) - January 17, 1989, Darmstadt, Hesse                                The stars and stripes Page 11 dear Ann Landers an acquaintance of mine who heard her biological clock ticking had no Good prospects on the horizon so she picked a Guy and got herself pregnant. The sap married her. After the blessed event they separated. The biological clock continued to tick so she got herself in a family Way again same Jerk. He begged her to get an Abor Tion but she refused. Five years later Al Jerko is supporting two kids that he neither planned nor wanted. They live 2,000 Miles away and he sees them once a year. Personally i think the Guy is a Saint. If a woman has the right to choose an abortion should t the Man have the right to demand that she end an accidental pregnancy rather than pay $100,000 Over the next 20 years to support a child he will Proba Bly never know it seems to me the woman gets a big break while the poor Slob who Only wanted a Little action is at her mercy. I know your old song it takes two to tango but my Point is that today a woman can end the consequences of a meaningless affair inexpensively and Sim ply but the Guy does t have that option. If she chooses to abort he s Home free. If not he s on the Hook for the next 18 years. Sound fair to you not to me. Meditating in the Midwest dear meditating i just love that phrase she got herself  no one who uses it has Ever been Able to explain exactly How this extraordinary feat is accomplished. Since it s the woman s body we re talking about she should have the right to decide what happens to it. Guys who Are looking for a Little action should be aware that reckless sex can be hazardous to their health As Well As damaging to their Bank account. Question what kind of idiot lets this happen twice dear Ann Landers the medical profession is always thinking up new ways to make a heart keep beating when the body is worn out and useless. The enclosed poem ran several years ago and could stand repeating. Please run it again. It s so sensible. From St. Louis dear St. Louis i agree that it s sensible but the malpractice Buzzards circling overhead Force Many physicians to practice defensive Medicine against their better instincts. Here s the piece. Thanks for asking. Time to go Pardon me doctor but May i die i know your oath requires you to try to keep me alive so Long As my body is warm and there is a breath of life but listen  i be buried my wife my children Are grown and on their own. My friends Are All gone and i want to go too. No mortal Man should keep me Here when the Call from him is unmistakably Clear. I deserve the right to slip quietly away. My work is done and i am tired. Your motives Are Noble but now i Pray you can read in my eyes what my lips can t say. Listen to my heart and you la hear it cry Pardon me  but May i die los Angeles times syndicated columnist Landers welcomes your letters. You can write to her in care of the stars and stripes Apo 09211, . Forces All letters to the editor must contain the full printed name and address of the writer and must be signed. We do not read unsigned letters but we will withhold your name on request and protect your privacy. All letters Are subject to editing. Help is available for Young drug user you never think it can happen to you or your loved time and time again discussions in your family about ones but it can and most probably will these Days. I know that now. Of you could have persuaded me differently yester Day. I thought i knew the answers but believe me i did t. I know about the dangers of drug abuse. I have taken the necessary Steps to educate myself and my children about its dangers As any enlightened Parent would. Good thing i did too or maybe my son would not have had the courage to come to me As he did. Part of our participation included just say no rallies. We have just say no buttons. We keep the lines of communication open. We Are honest with one another and share our Hopes for today tomorrow and the future. We even have a relative who was a drug addict to reaffirm what the Media and posters say. But without warning drugs insidiously touched my 12 year old child s life. Of he did t take any and no one tried to directly sell him some. It happened like this we All eagerly await letters from family and friends. My children Are no exception. My son got a letter from the first girl he Ever Felt special about. They had been corresponding for about six or seven months by then. It was t Long until i noticed that look All Moth ers notice on their children when something is bother ing them. I asked my 12-year-old if something was wrong or if he had a problem i could help him with. He looked at me through strangely mature eyes and said yes maybe i Hope so but let s wait until my brother goes to  i Don t know Why but i was a Little frightened and i tried to think of what could have made my son have that half adult look. I guess the Only other Way i could accurately describe it was a loss of innocence. Later my son told me that his Friend pen pal smoked marijuana and that her parents gave it to her but for him not to worry because she took it As a medi Cine to help her to be Calm. She said her parents loved her and of course would t do anything to Hurt her so Don t worry. Nothing could have prepared me for that. One look at his Hurt face told me there would be no Pat answers. Besides i could t think of any because i was shocked. I could see his Hurt and confusion and As he looked at me trusting me to have the answers i was aware that what i said now could affect our relationship for the rest of our lives. If i did t reach him now i might not get the Chance again. I looked at my husband and realized he too did not know what to say. So i looked at my son and told him i was 5907. Then i tried to explain that he was not responsible for his Friend s actions and that indirectly her letter May be a cry for help. I said that the drug marijuana had already affected his Friend because in her own Way she was telling him that drugs were of but we both knew that they were not. Then i told him to write his Friend and to Tell her that he cared about her. He should also try to talk her out of using marijuana because it was a drug and he knew what drugs did. I also told him that if there was anything i could do to please Tell me and i would help. Somehow even after i held him close and reassured him of my Faith and love for him i still Felt inadequate. I did t have All the answers and still Don t. I guess that s Why i m writing you. How can that child his Friend be helped would the proper Agency please respond name and location withheld editor s note we received two replies to this letter. The first is from Art Bennett assistant director adolescent substance abuse counselling services he Usa eur thank you so much for your touching and conscientious letter. These Days All children and adolescents Are at risk for substance abuse. And Many Many parents feel inadequate to know what to do. While it helps for parents to be informed parents need not feel that they have to be experts on substance abuse to talk with their children about drug use. In fact initiating sometimes substance abuse and clearly conveying your stance against All use of drugs yet listening and being open to their concerns and temptations is the most important deterrent a Parent can provide. In the Case of your son s Friend the parents Are apparently not helpful. They Are probably unaware of the destructive psychological effects of marijuana reducing concentration impairing memory increasing anxiety and unaware of the physical and biological effects impairment of hand Eye coordination infertility reproductive complications and drug dependency. If your child s Friend is in Usa eur then your child could encourage her to Contact a Counselor from the adolescent substance abuse Counselor program at the local Community counselling Center about marijuana use. If she is in the United states then the school Counselor should be Able to Point her in the right direction if she wants. Your son s willingness to discuss his concerns with you his parents shows that he feels comfortable bring ing his concerns about drug use to you. That is a very hopeful and encouraging sign. Perhaps if you or your child contacts the pen pal or the pen pal s parents about your concerns and the liabilities of drug use such shared concern might make a difference. The second reply is from i. Col. Robert b. Brady director social actions he Safe your letter expresses a deep concern and the fear Many of us As parents Are faced with As our children grow and Are exposed to the realities of substance abuse in their lives. How can parents ensure their children Are prepared to make the Tough decision to not be involved with substance abuse it sounds As if you and your husband have Laid a foundation of Strong values for your son and he recognizes clearly the cry for help and personal conflict coming from his Friend through her letter. It is sad that this Young girl s parents Are not Only encouraging their daughter to use an illicit drug but also go on to Supply it to her. With today s available research and recognition of the damaging effects of marijuana use it is even More incomprehensible. Our children Are growing up in a world where they will be faced with making choices about drugs. In 1987, the department of defense conducted the Sec Ond worldwide Survey of drug and alcohol use among students in the department of defense dependents school  in that study Dodds Stu dents reported that 8.8 percent of them first used Mari Juana in the seventh or eighth Grade. Marijuana was reported As the most widely used illicit drug with 44 percent of Dodds seniors report ing some use in their lifetime 28 percent reporting some use in the past year and 14 percent reporting use in the last month. Of the Legal drugs alcohol is the most prevalent. Of the Dodds seniors 8 percent reported daily use of alcohol and 38 percent reported having five or More drinks in a Row during the prior two week period. We know the problem of substance abuse impacts our children our families and our Mission readiness. Recognizing this most of our military communities have substance abuse programs. The air Force social actions programs provide education evaluation and rehabilitation services by fully trained and certified substance abuse Counselor. These programs Are Avail Able to any id card Holder who needs information or assistance. Also Many military communities have the adolescent substance abuse control office where Complete information and treatment programs Are available. You asked How your son s Friend can get help. You now know help is available but the most difficult step is getting the people who need that help to go to the experts. I strongly encourage you to Contact your local social actions office Sac program coordinator or army Community counselling Center. Each of these agencies is ready to help. All you need to do is Call or walk in the door. European edition col Jeffrey m. Cook Usa commander editor in chief it col Suzanne l. Phillips Usan Deputy commander editor in chief Marie Kominicki Mert Proctor Deane b. Mcdermott production manager managing editor circulation manager this newspaper is an authorized unofficial publication for members of the military services overseas. Contents of the stars and stripes Are not necessarily the official views of or endorsed by the . Government the department of defense or the . European command. The appearance of advertising in this publication including inserts or supplements does not constitute endorsement by the department of de sense or the stars and stripes of the products or services advertised. Everything advertised in this publication shall be made available for Purchase use or patronage without regard to race color religion sex National origin age marital status physical Handicap political affiliation or any other non Merit Factor of the purchaser user or Patron. Military address the stars and stripes Apo 09211. International mail the stars and stripes Postrach 11 14 37, d-6100 Darmstadt 11, Germany. Tel Griesheim civilian 06155 6010 ets 348-5741 or 348-5823. Telex 0419-332. Tel fax 06155-601376. New York office room 401, 252 seventh ave., new York 10001, Tel area code 212 620-3333. News bureaus Bremerhaven Germany City desk Telephone ets 348-5741 or 348-5823 or civilian 06155-601255. Kaiserslautern Germany Daryl Green Deedee Arrington Doke building 2899, Pulaski Barracks Apo 09227 Telephone ets 489-6585 or civilian 0631-52104. Munich Germany Charlie Bowden building 16, b stairwell 2nd floor Mcgraw Cavern soured Apo 09407 Telephone ets 440-7320 or civilian 089-690-1800. 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