European Stars And Stripes (Newspaper) - February 23, 1989, Darmstadt, Hesse                                Thursday february 23, 1989 the stars and stripes Arm Landers dear Ann Landers the letter from befuddled in Kitchener Ontario motivated me to respond to the lady who wants to drop in on a terminally ill relative. My husband is in the last stages of cancer. I quit my Job two years ago to stay at Home and care for him. His sons and other relatives hearing that he is Grav Ely ill want to Fly in and visit him one last time. For the last 20 years his sons have paid no at Tention to their father whatsoever ask your readers to consider All aspects before try ing to visit a person who is terminally ill. The care giver is always exhausted and often ill from stress. Keep in mind the additional Burden on the routine and household before you decide to make that last visit. Usually i Wear a Robe All Day because i have been up All night and Nap whenever i can. Having visitors is a Burden. There Are extra meals to fix Beds to be made and other relatives pile in to see the visitors Etc. Ann your advice to Call first is the Best i have Ever seen. It May sound selfish not to want the additional Strain but it is a matter of survival. A care giver wife in arizon adear Arizona i was swamped with letters from care givers from allover the country. They All said the same thing. No one is qualified to speak to this problem except those who have lived through it. Thanks for sharing your Wisdom. Here s a suggestion for family members or friends who feel strongly about one last visit stay in a hotel or Motel. And offer to help the care giver any Way you can. Clean the House. Do the cooking or bring in food. Give the overworked and stressed out relative a Well deserve break. Dear Ann Landers a Friend sent this to me. At first i laughed but later i began to see that there was a serious Point to this Story. I m not laughing anymore. Please share it with your readers a woman arriving Home from a shopping trip was horrified to find her husband in bed with a Lovely Young thing. Just As she was about to storm out of the House her husband stopped her with these words before you leave i want you to hear How this came about. I was driving along the Highway when i saw this girl looking tired and bedraggled so i brought her Home and made her a meal from the roast beef you had forgotten was in the refrigerator. She was wearing worn out sandals so i gave her a pair of shoes you had discarded because they were out of style. She was cold so i gave her the sweater i bought for your birthday but you never wore it because the colors weren t right her jeans were threadbare so i gave her a pair of Slacks that were perfectly Good but you had t worn them in a Long time because they were too snug. As the woman was about to leave she turned to me and asked with a smile is there anything else your wife does t use anymore " end of Story. A in Oregon dear a some Story. There s a lesson to be Learned Here. I Hope the Point is not lost in the humor of the tale. Thanks for sharing. My laugh for the Day you Are about my age if you remember when a dime was a weekly allowance. Today it is used As an Emer gency screwdriver. Another reminder of How times have changed when i was growing up we were delighted to find a Penny on the Street. Today s kids Don t bother to pick it up. Los Angeles times syndicated columnist Landers welcomes your letters. You can write to her in care of the stars and stripes Apo 09211, . Forces Page 11 letters vet s principle misplaced ins official says the following letter refers to Dennis Elmore off on Tana Calif who was fired after his refusal to document his citizenship by filling out a form listing his Driver s License and social Security number. He stated it was a matter of principle and said the government had sent him to Vietnam and should know his citizenship and yet it required him to fill out the form to verify he was not an illegal alien. The firm which fired him would have had to pay a Fine if it failed to have every employee fill out this form. I read with some disappointment your article of Jan. 15 entitled Vietnam vet loses Job Over matter of principle " according to the article Dennis Al More has decided that he will not cooperate with employers attempting to comply with Federal Immi Gration Laws by providing proof of citizenship due to his principles. Immigration to this country lawful and unlawful has reached unprecedented Levels. Or. Elmore and your readers May be interested to know the following facts at present the United states accepts More immigrants yearly than any other country in the world we accept More refugees yearly than the rest of the world combined. During each of the past five years the immigration and naturalization service ins has apprehended Over 1 million illegal aliens 1.8 million in fiscal year 1987 alone. While i have no doubt about or. Elm orc s sincerity i found his principle misplaced. There arc of course Many different kinds of principles of greater and lesser degrees. The overriding principle exercised by Congress and the president in enacting the immigration Reform Law at Issue was one of National sovereignty the right of this country to control the flow of aliens Over its Borders and to ensure that jobs arc preserved for those who have a right to work. The Only equitable Way to do this is through a non discriminatory verification system in which everyone is treated the same. That is the system which or. Elmore objects to. In conclusion let me also Point out that the ins is staffed with a corps of officers Many of whom Are also veterans who served honorable in Vietnam the korean War and world War ii. Or. Elmore should take Comfort in knowing that each and every one of our own employees including the veterans who have been hired since the Law s enactment have also been asked to go through the same verification proce Dure. Walter d. Cadman District director immigration and naturalization service . Department of Justice Baltimore my. Reader defends those who speak out i was absolutely amazed at the recent letter about an and cafes. To begin i would like to state that cafes and an Are not perfect. I have never heard representatives of these organizations claim this lofty term and i Don t expect to hear it in the future. To run a business successfully feedback is essential. The stars and stripes provides a direct Channel for complaints where an Swers Are made readily available straight from the top. Is it possible that the people in High positions would not hear these problems if it were not for direct con Sumer Contact i believe so. If you think about it the american Way of life is built around this system. We vote for people who amplify our personal views and they answer for any mis takes they May make in the process. I believe the term used for people who speak out for what they believe in was  would you consider the Rev. Martin Luther King or. A crybaby for speaking out for equal treatment for All americans How about president Kennedy s request during the cuban missile crisis you probably think i am comparing apples to oranges but Stop and think. Should a person be subject to libel when they Are merely speaking out for what they believe is that not a principal reason Why we As military Are in Europe to defend the Freedom and ability to speak freely without fear of retribution in an attempt to tie this All together these statements and solutions completely contradict what it Means to be an american. Where i come from we Don t Burn up the Garden for the Sake of a couple of weeds. An will never satisfy everyone with its programming and cafes will never provide us with All our wants at prices we can afford on a limited budget. All these people Are not trying to form these organizations into something that they Are not intended to be however it does not Hurt to ask Why things Are done the Way they Are and offer possible alternatives. I have not heard any complaints from the above mentioned about the valuable feedback that members provide. It is your turn to Wake up and smell the Coffee and realize that the people who Are speaking out could possibly be doing it on your behalf. Senior airman Jay . Clifton Raf Lakenheath England donations requested for City of Hope for your readers who use coupons the City of Hope advertised on an to offers a Book of coupons Worth $60 for a $5 donation. Granted there Are some coupons for items we can t get Here in Europe but i found at least $20 Worth i could use and i Don t have kids or pets. The rest i sent to my Mother and Sisters in the United states. This is a triple win situation. The City of Hope Hospi Tal helps Many people who cannot afford to help them selves in a medical emergency. This is possible Only through donations. The shopper saves Money by using the coupons and the commissary makes 8 cents on every Coupon we redeem. To order the Coupon Book Send requests to coupons of Hope . Box 3337 los Angeles Calif. 90051 enclose $5 and allow at least four to six weeks for delivery. Beverly Keaveny Bremerhaven West Germany pen pals please publish my name in your pen pal column. I enjoy writing listening to soft music and Reading books and magazines. I am 19 years old. Dianne o. Abungan Burgos Street Isabel Negros Occidental Philippines 6128 please place my name in your pen pal column. I am a Veteran who would like to correspond with people overseas. I enjoy going to concerts hiking Bowling and buying repairing and Selling cars. Dwaine Thornton rr3, Box 170b Bloomington Iii. 61704 please include my name in your pen pal column. I am 20 years old. Melinda u. Sal Goste 1935suzara Street 4600 Daet Camarones Norte Philippines the european edition col Jeffrey m. Cook Usa commander editor in chief it col Suzanne l. Phillips Usan Deputy commander editor in chief Marie Kominicki Mert Proctor Deane b. Mcdermott production manager managing editor circulation manager this newspaper is an authorized unofficial publication for members of the military services overseas. Contents of the stars and stripes Are not necessarily the official views of or endorsed by the . Government the department of defense or the . European command. The appearance of advertising in this publication including inserts or supplements does not constitute endorsement by the department of de sense or the stars and stripes of the products or services advertised. 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