European Stars and Stripes (Newspaper) - April 12, 1990, Darmstadt, Hesse                                In Paris the miniskirt is definitely in. A amps photos by Peter Jaeger there Are visitors who feel insulted not to be properly insulted in Paris. Quot is this really Paris Quot they complain. Quot where Are those rude puffed up parisians we be heard so much about Quot still the Art of the putdown has not been entirely lost in the new sweetness. There is a portly mustachioed red cheeked waiter of the old How dare you eat in my esteemed establishment school giving off just the right snooty vibrations at the restaurant chartier just off the Boulevard Montmartre. He is guaranteed to give your gastronomic adventure All the acidity it can handle especially if you Are male and foreign. This waiter from the past makes a performance of peering Over his old timey Mustache and looking Down his prominent pro Biscus All in the same moment As he deigns to give you a menu parisian vignettes from top an artist works with matchsticks in the metro Halls a stroller attracts a following in the Tuil eries a Street cleaner goes about his duties. Tosses your Napkin on the table Rolls his eyes scornfully and swirls off in a Cloud of intimidation before the bumpkin tourist can finish Quot of sir i would like some Ketchup please Quot those who order Ketchup Are of course barbarians. Required to make a second trip to the table to bring Coffee and Apple Brandy Monsieur High horse wipes his hands in a theatrical Huff on his White apron verbally scolds the untutored tourist beasts for causing him so much trouble a and strongly suggests with every twitch of his being that they should return to the crude no Star hotel from whence they crawled. Chartier s is a traditional restaurant with High ceilings mirrored Walls old Wood charming turn of the Century Belle Poque lights and food that is incredibly cheap by today s standards. The service is priceless. It shopping is priceless too especially if you Are Pitzing it. The luxury shops in the place vendome around the Ritz hotel and up the Rue de la paix Are pure fun for the filthy Rich. Unfortunately for this billionaire Cartier s was being renovated. Of drat. One did so want a trinket or two. There is a certain smell about Money not necessarily Noble but frightfully distinctive. It gets a lovingly All Over one As one browses from shop to shop. So on across the Street to Boucheron s. No thank you. Not up to one s style. On to Van Cleef and Appel s. There is a Small clock in this grand jeweler s window discreetly priced at $32,333, but one has forgotten one s Loose change. Prices Are not usually listed in the windows the Gross implication being that if Monsieur has to ask Don t bother to enter and Monsieur does t bother. The total perfection one is looking for seems missing these gauche Days  this handmade stuff is Boring Boring in the machine age. Pearls at Rikimoto s briefly titillate one s Yuppie glands but Are not quite the right density. And by now one has worked up such a glorious appetite shopping that one strolls on Down the Rue Royale to maxims where they Don t Post prices either. So one decides to deprive them of one s business. One can always choose to go bread White wine and Cheesing it in the gardens and feed the sparrows. And one chooses to. These particular gardens full of fountains Ponds and statues Are called the Tuil eries. They Are More than a half mile Long stretching from the louvre to the place de concorde and the Sun is shining in the Tuil eries and Parisienne Are Blooming and kissing and eating lunch All Over these Tuil eries. A to be Young and a Rich Sparrow in the Tuil eries. A a a the Rich looking americans sat together in the pleasantly warm Sun of the Luxembourg gardens. The chemistry was t working. Quot i would t walk across the Street to see the Tuil eries Quot said the Young Man in the dark glasses 8 stripes Magazine april 12, 1990