European Stars and Stripes (Newspaper) - May 26, 1990, Darmstadt, Hesse                                Choosing chastity fed up with empty relationships by Lindsey Tanner associated press the sexual revolution has spawned a group of counter revolutionaries adults committed to celibacy before marriage. Bucking societal trends More than 400 men and women of varied Ages and backgrounds have found a Haven in the National chastity association. Some members have never had sex but others have been married. Many say they did t join for any religious or moral reasons a they re just fed up with the singles bar scene and empty relationships. Many admit they be had a difficult time convincing others they Are not weirdos. Quot in be been humiliated ridiculed laughed at made fun of Quot says Janice Hodge a 30-year-old from Holbrook mass., who has never dated and believes in premarital chastity because Quot it was the Way my Mother brought us  when she heard about the group Quot i was totally psyched because i was saying to myself there Are finally other virgins out there besides  Elaine Marsh a 35-year-old Legal Secretary from Orange county calif., found her new husband through the group. They began corresponding in november and first decided to get married this May. But impatience intervened and they eloped on March 30, one Day after they had met each other in person for the first time. A when you can to do certain things before you get married you want to hurry up Quot Marsh says. She says neither was disappointed. Quot we re discovering More and More things in common a she says. Quot it s  Marsh had been single since her divorce six years ago. Three years ago she became celibate. Quot it comes from my religion but it s More than that Quot she says. Quot i just feel its such a precious part of yourself you done to give it to someone when you Haven to made the commitment of  the decision Wasny to an easy one. Quot i had friends try and talk me out of it Quot she says. Quot i had a Man say to me a Why should i spend Money on you if you re not going to have sex with me because 99 out of 100 women will Quot the pressure became too much to handle. Quot i stopped dating it was that difficult Quot she says. Quot i got tired of wrestling matches basically so i just said forget  she joined the chastity association last june. Quot i was really glad to see that there was actually a group that has the same Outlook that i have Quot she says. Quot that a pretty hard to find in Southern  experts say there a no evidence of any major National trend toward chastity but concede the aids scare has made Many some singles shy away from Intercourse. The association a non religious group founded less than two years ago by a divorced suburban Mother of two functions As a kind of dating service and support group. Mary Meyer 37, says she formed the group after suffering too Many heartaches from bad non platonic relationships. She tried joining a singles club and placing personal ads in local newspapers but failed to meet a Man who shared her values. Quot i love hand holding i love kissing i love caressing i love sex Quot she says. Quot but even More than i would Mary Meyer 37, a divorced Mother of two founded the National chastity association. Love to experience these things right now i want to be Able to have a relationship where i can experience them  convinced that the Best Way to find an Ideal mate is to build a non physical relationship before marriage Meyer formed the group based on what she Calls the "19  they include the desire to save hand holding kissing and sex until marriage and to be close friends with someone for at least two years before considering marriage. Members  $15 a year and get their names published in a group directory that lists Brief descriptions of members and their values. Lorraine Althea a Model in her 30s from los Angeles joined about a year ago. Quot i have fooled around a lot but i just reached a Point where i d had enough and i just wanted something More Quot she says Quot it gets to the Point of being Boring. Men Are after you All the time a fear of aids had something to do with her decision but More than that Althea says she Quot was just tired of that shallow feeling Quot since joining Althea says she s met lots of celibate people Quot you begin to feel like you re the Only one but you re not. We re not prudes we be been  groups in Southern California says chastity is the sexual revolution s forgotten ingredient. Quot some people think liberation Means glorification of casual sex Quot he says. Quot i think the definition of sexual liberation is the right to freely and comfortably say no Quot Clergyman Joe Leonard of Wayne pa., who is involved in a project on human sexuality for the National Council of churches in Christ says he secs no trend toward chastity. Quot i Don t see any evidence of it frankly Quot despite the National chastity association he says. Neither does Jerome Sherman a Houston psychologist and president of the american association of sex educators Counselor and therapists. Quot we Don t find that More people Are saying no to sexual activity Quot Sherman says. Quot the question is not should you have any sexual activity before marriage because it depends on each  in other words to each his own. Inquiries about Tho group May to sont to p o Dox 40?, Oak Forest. Ill 60452. And must to accompanied by a Solf address of. Stamped envelope desires Here Are the "19 desires Quot of the National chastity association 1. To appreciate All the following ideas for their several practical benefits besides Freedom from the threat of aids and other venereal diseases and besides any concept of god and divine Law. 2. To be married eventually. 3. To be married As opposed to having any sexual relationship or commitment outside of marriage including Quot living  4. To marry someone who will be Quot in love a with you throughout life. 5. To marry someone who will be your Best Friend. 6. To marry someone to whom hand holding kissing caressing and sexual Intercourse mean special experiences of Mutual exclusive faithful and romantic love. 7. To marry someone who will be totally honest with you. 8. To marry someone who will be totally faithful to you. 9. That All personal friendships with people of the opposite sex become inactive after marriage except where the friendships and All activities thereof Are shared by both marriage partners. 10. To be married until the death of one of the partners. 11. To remain unmarried until you have been emotionally autonomous for at least two years that is free of emotional and behaviour disorders. 12. To have and to use at least a mental list of qualifications for compatibility in choosing a marriage partner. 13. To marry someone who never lies to anyone about anything except in cases where someone a life or body is threatened. 14. To save the feelings of being Quot in love Quot until you Are actually married. 15. To save hand holding kissing caressing and sexual Intercourse until marriage. 16. To have Only non exclusive not Quot steady Quot relationships while single. 17. To be very close friends with someone for at least two years before even wanting to marry him or her. 18. To have an engagement period that is no longer than is necessary to make wedding arrangements. 19. To marry someone who has All of the above desires. A associated press saturday May 26, 1990 the stars and stripes a a a Page 13