European Stars and Stripes (Newspaper) - May 26, 1990, Darmstadt, Hesse                                Saturday May 26, 1990 the stars and stripes a a a Page 25commentarysome names add spark some done to lighten up Sparky. That a the advice id give to George Lee Anderson. George Lee Anderson better known to us As Sparky Anderson wants to drop the Sparky Moniker. He favors George because Sparky does no to fit a 57-year-old Man. Forget that his Detroit tigers Are having another Stellar year or is it cellar year. Through monday the tigers were still Only 18-22 after a seven game winning Streak. Only the new York Yankees and Baltimore orioles Are worse in the american league East. Sparky is looking for a rejuvenation. He needs it. Keep the nickname spark. It works. George Herman Ruth found Fame and Fortune As the babe. Henry Aaron will always be known to his fans As Hank. Joe Jackson was shoeless Joe. Done to forget say hey Willie Mays red schoendienst Stan a the Many Musial and Casey Stengel. Nicknames Are in spark. With respect to Espnes Chris a stupid nickname Berman some nicknames just done to fit. Boog Powell. Sounds obscene. What exactly is a Boog better yet Why would a grown Man want to be known As Boog i done to think i want to know. Imagine this Guy meeting his future in Laws. A Ama dad id like you to meet. Boog a a Princess excuse  what a wrong with John Wesley Powell beats the Heck out of Boog. Then again what does no to Boog is bad enough but they get worse. Do they Ever. Take Bip Roberts for instance. Bip what the Heck is a Bip a a a Batman graphic oof Zowie Ker Chak Bip Kab Looie Bip Roberts is Leon Joseph Roberts a Utility infielder outfielder for the san Diego padres. Leones not a bad name. Why cover it up with something As inane As Bip scenario Bip stars on a the Young and the restless. A Lauren of Bip. Must you go Bip yes my love Lauren. I must be Lippi no along. Lauren of Bip kiss me. Kiss me Bip. Of Bip marry me. Marry me Bip. Now substitute the name John Tom or Mike. Sounds a lot better does no to it Bip and Boog Are bad no doubt about it. Try this one on for size. The Atlanta braves played a Guy named Biff Pocoroba from 1975-Rob Staggenborg 1984. Somebody Tell me this How could a Guy name Biff play nine years in the majors without gaining much notice Only in America. Biff runs along the same lines As Bip. Both arc obnoxious insults to the vocabulary of first names. Imagine Biff running a Butcher shop. Customer hey Biff How s the beef Biff the beefs a bit braised but the pork is particularly palatable. Customer Well Biff Gimme a bite of diffs braised beef but id like to partake in a Pound of that particularly palatable pork please Pocoroba so i ask would you buy beef from a Guy named Biff i did no to think so. Cookie Wilson. Now there a a nickname huh parents who would allow their son to go through life being called cookie should be shot. Wilson a birth name is William Wilson. What a so bad about that sure there is a Willie Wilson around but there a no shame in fading into oblivion As Plain old Bill Wilson. But cookie cookie does no to work. Take these dramatic examples from the Silver screen. The names have been substituted to illustrate the Point. Rhett Butler Quot frankly cookie i Don t give a Damn. A bugs Bunny Quot he. What a up cookie Quot Roger Moore Quot the names Bond. Cookie Bond. Quot the wicked Witch Quot ill get you my Little pretty and your Little dog cookie too Quot the last one has possibilities though. Oil can Boyd Isnit much better. His real name is Dennis Boyd. Not bad but he had to mess it up with the Oil can stuff. Why is there no sincerity in the world Oil can would be perfect for a redneck Gas station attendant in Podunk county mo., but it does t sound right for a major league Pitcher. I would t think twice about letting a Guy named Oil can replace my pistons and sew up a broken head Gasket. 1 get a bit queasy knowing that in front of millions of americans and canadians on National to announcers will extol the Virtues of a Guy named Oil can. The scene in Podunk mo., on a Crisp october evening Merle Berle now bout Dat Erl can Berle shucks. He a bout the Best Pischer come a round dese parts since the Oakley boy left Jer Gastonia. Merle shucks of boy. Erl can a a Bess bad Ball got  _ no Way. Change the name Boyd. Do us a favor. Hensley a Bam bams Mulens. Catchy nickname but makes him look like a Weenie. A youngster in the Yankee system meulens broke into the majors last year. The nickname is breaking our hearts. 1 saw the kid play at Prince William a of the Carolina league a nickname and All. Pretty decent Arm Good Bat Speed but the nickname a its gotta go. Imagine the Yankees winning the series this year yeah right and Bam Bam finds himself on the White House Lawn. Bucky Dent another Weenie nickname introduces Bam Bam to the chief Button controller. Bucky Quot or. President i present to you Ilam Bam. Quot the big Guy Quot hello Young american. A Mulens Quot Bam Ham. Bam Bam Bam. Quot the big Guy Quot Yabba Dabba Doo Young american. A Mulens Quot Bam Bam. Bam Bam  the big Guy Quot or will win the War on drugs Young american. Quot Mulens Quot Bam Bam. Smacks the big Guy in the head with the Stone club he wields. Secret service dudes pounce on him so i ask Sparky again is your nickname so horrible that you can t live with it any longer life could be a lot worse. Just ask Boog Bip Biff cookie Bam Bam Oil can or Bucky. Tha stars and Stropa Schwantz sets German up Cycle Pace by Randy Barnett motor sports editor Zurburg West Germany a Kevin Schwantz of Paige Texas fully recovered rom a wrist injury suffered in the . Brand prix in april scored provisional pole position Friday for sundays 500-cc race in he German grand prix for motorcycles. Riding a 160-horsepower Suzuki the texan sped Over the 2.8-mile Zurburg ring in one minute 38.346 seconds at an average Speed of 103.310 Miles per hour. Just behind Schwantz 1.1 seconds off the Pace came Wayne Rainey of Downey Calif. Rainey who rides for the Kenny Roberts Yamaha team is leading for the 500-cc world championship with three victories in the past four grand prix rounds. Third fastest rider was australian Michael Doohan Honda while pier ran Cesco Chili of Italy Honda was fourth. Fifth fastest in the Field of 25 riders was Niall Mackenzie of Scotland who partners Schwantz on the Suzuki team. Schwantz who won Here for Suzuki two years ago said he had no problems and that he hoped to improve on his time in saturdays final qualifying session. Rainey Winner of the German grand prix last year when it was held at Hocken Heim also had no particular problems but said that he hoped to find a faster Way around saturday. The californian is enjoying a healthy Lead at the moment for the 1990 title but he is Riding without support and carrying the Flag alone against the other two Man teams. A so i can to just go looking at my Points Lead a Rainey said. A a it a much too Early for that. I could have a fall and then be in big trouble. So right now. In a out to win every race and i Hope to win Here this weekend. But Kevin Schwantz is a Tough  Kenny Roberts director of the Marl Boro Roberts team said he is not certain when Rainey a teammate a four time world Champion Eddie Lawson of Upland Calif., a will return to action. Lawson is still recovering from Heel injuries suffered in the . Grand prix and has been out of Competition since. A we really miss Eddie a Roberts said a because of our one rider situation. We would be running one two in the championship right now if he were Riding. But As it is Wayne has no Opportunity to relax. He a always out there on his own and can to afford any  Roberts said he hoped Lawson would be fit for the next grand prix a the austrian round on june 10 a but that he Isnit counting on it. A we wont replace Eddie a Roberts said. A a we la wait Lor him to get  another injury victim a Honda Stop rider Wayne Gardner of Australia a did not practice Friday and apparently will not race on sunday. Gardner is running second in the world championship 27 Points behind Rainey a 77. In the 250-cc division Lucca Candalora of Italy who rides a Yamaha captured provisional pole position while Roberts protege John Kocinski of Little Rock ark., came next on his  boys girls win twice reach finals the Wiesbaden boys and girls advanced to the championship games of the big schools soccer tournament Friday by winning two games apiece and will take on undefeated rivals in saturdays showdowns at Ramstein and Patch respectively. The boys face Pitburg and the girls catch Heidelberg in the championship games. Wiesbaden a boys took a pair of one Point decisions to Advance to the title game toppling Wei Brincken 1-0 in overtime and coming Back to defeat Heidelberg 4-3. The Warrior girls registered a pair of shutouts in gaining their spot in the Sun defeating Wei Brincken 4-0 and Frankfurt 2-0. Marcus Morgan with a feed from Dom Maldonado notched Wiesbaden a winning goal in the boys opener at Ramstein. Brandon Logue had 10 saves for the warriors and the trojans Ryan Brackett notched 11 in the defensive Gem. Four different players scored in Wiesbaden a win Over Heidelberg. They were Maldonado James Benheimer Morgan and Justin Robertson. Kevin Hall tallied twice for Heidelberg and Mike Cullina got the other goal. Logue came through with a 13-save performance. Tara Holtham notched a goal in each game to grab the spotlight in the Warrior girls victories. Michelle Cardi Deliece Gunnels and Tanja Cumbo accounted for the other first game scores and Megan Montoya tallied the second second game goal. Pitburg which won the a league and tournament titles shut out Frankfurt 1-0 and Mannheim 6-0 to run its season record to 10-0. Eric Dayhoff got the win Ning goal off an assist by Ricky Ybarra in the opening game As David Stallard came through with nine saves. Frankfurt s Chris Baggett was credited with 11 saves. Dayhoff scored two goals As the Barons overwhelmed Mannheim coming off a stunning upset of highly regarded Ramstein in the Nightcap. He got scoring support from Jimmy Mcclellan Paul Betsch Nate Whitesides and Mike Owens. The Heidelberg girls who conquered everyone in aaa season and tournament strife smothered Nairn Borg 4-0 and Patch 6-1 to retain their perfect status this season. Mindy Cash Cathy Coppit Alison Hough and Veruska Corigliano recorded the first game goals and Cash and Coppit had assists. Hough notched two goals in the second game and Courtney and Paige Hall Shannon Gulyas and Coppit had one apiece. Coppit also had three assists