European Stars and Stripes (Newspaper) - May 26, 1990, Darmstadt, Hesse                                Children by Marianne and Stephen w. Garber and Robyn Freedman Spizman Cox news service a special Challenge in summer is. A i of. R Ltd i Reading is a Good Way for children to fend off dreaded summer boredom. A amps Gus Schuettler some parents look toward summer with anguish and dread others Welcome the Opportunity to relax the Winter schedule and ease into the summer months. For Many parents june july and August place an extra Burden on exhausting Days. Children will not be safely occupied at school yet parents must go to work each morning. What will the kids be doing All Day Many organized parents sent in applications for Camp blocked out vacation times and planned for the Days in Between in january. They leave Little time to the imagination and few Days for lolling around. Then there Are families who hold dear the notion of Quot Lazy hazy Days of  taking it an hour at a time is their Credo. We strive All year to keep a certain balance in the kids schedule. How much should children be scheduled in the summer remember we All dread three Little words Quot i am  working parents or not How do we want our kids to spend their Days will everyone be happier if the children Are involved in supervised activities most of us adore being with our children but few of us chose Camp counselling As a profession. Many parents Don t have the ingenuity skill and patience to devise creative diversions several times each Day. True there Are so Many things to do that if we took our children to one each Day it would occupy most of the summer. However if being a tour guide Day after Day is not your cup of Tea then its Likely that your patience will Wear thin after a week or two of planned excursions. Besides can you take that much time from work perhaps you could arrange a few strategical planned outings to break upts summer schedule. As you think about ways to Jend the summer consider your child s personality your temperament budget. Done to think that Bechai have Little Money to spend on courses there is nothing Topi can still achieve a balance tha for a great summer. If you re p Send your child to Camp and f sent in an application then Yoi Peea Hustle. As you plan for the Restif the time you should consider i a someone to supervise Thi kids when you re not around. 1 a variety in the schedule Jen if your child must be in a full Day program do the activities vary by Day or Veek a some Down time. If week ays Are fully planned make the Weeke is More flexible. A family brainstorming for few activities or excursions. Takes Vantage of free festivals concerts and i rents. A summer pals. If there Are i few kids in the neighbourhood Mak arrangements with other mom to get the kids together. Form a play roup creating your own minicams o j Day a week. I a your child s attention spa. Will your child grow bored doing Thi same thing Day after Day set up Airt Center with a variety of paper sind Art supplies. Ask your librarian of spooks to help you. A your child a special interacts and needs. Specialized camping Viere available offers in depth Learnix experiences for those with Intel test and skill. Summer is the perfect tier of for something new. A new View on bonding by Daniel q. Haney associated press when babies fail to form trusting relationships with their mothers psychologists have Long offered a Quick answer blame mom. Now a new View is taking hold. Some infants a especially fussy ones a put up a Barrier that has nothing to do with their mothers skills or compassion. In Short the new Wisdom holds blame baby too. The Mother is off the Hook at least in part Quot said or. Carroll e. Izard. Delving into infants emotions has become a Rich Field of research. Developmental psychologists Are Busy sorting out emotionally responsive infants from stoic ones tracking Down the source of emotional responses inside their Young Heads and even measuring which Side of babies faces break into the brightest grins and the deepest frowns. Izard a researcher at the University of Delaware is challenging the traditional notion that mothers Are entirely responsible for building secure relationships with their babies. He has found that babies who respond strongly and negatively to noises and other stimulation a in Short the very fussy ones a Are also most Likely to develop poor Bonds with their mothers. Previous research puts the onus on the Mother Quot said Izard. I m saying this is a two Way Street. Characteristics of the infant contribute As  his study conducted on 81 infants found that those who cried the most who demanded the most attention and who put up the biggest fuss during mildly stressful situations during their first months of life also turned out to be the least secure at 13 months of age. He and his colleagues found they could use an Electrocardiogram to predict which newborns would go on to have insecure Bonds with their moms. Those with the strongest vagal tone a a measure of the influence of the brain on the heart a later produced the highest insecurity scores on psychological tests. In Izard a study a Quarter of the babies formed poor Bonds with their mothers. Other research has shown that such children Are More Likely to have psychological problems when they reach school age such As extreme shyness and difficulty playing with other youngsters. The latest work suggests that the seeds for these social problems Are sewn in a baby a genes at birth. Izard outlined his findings recently at a meeting of the american association for the advancement of science in new Orleans. Other researchers at the meeting described other ways of delving into the earliest emotions of childhood. For instance or. Tiffany Field of the University of Miami medical school has tested babies willingness to mimic grown ups facial expressions of happiness anger sadness and Surprise. About 20 percent it turns out Are great apers bursting into wide grins and gaping Surprise in response to adult cues. Another 20 percent stay Stone faced while the rest fall somewhere in Between. Expressivity is something that is individually different right from the Start Quot she said. Or. Nathan a. Fox of the University of Maryland has found that different emotions Are seated in different sides of babies brains. He measured youngsters brain Waves on legs. Among other things he found that when babies smiled at their mothers the left Side when you make your summer plans View yourself As a time controller. On a Calendar Mark out vacations and special activities already in the works. What a left As you plan the Days with the kids vary the activities the Pace and the company. Be sure to consider your needs As Well. If the schedule is too much for you you re Apt to get Grumpy before the Day is through a and so might your children. Consider outdoor is. Indoor activities sedentary is. Active play interactive is. Individual activities. Finally Don t overplay. Be ready to go with the flow. Marianne and Stephen w. Garber and Robyn Freedman Spizman write a child behaviour column for the Atlanta journal Constitution in at Anta a. A amps file children need free time As Well As planned activities to keep them Happy during the summer. Page 14 a a a the stars and stripes t e baby has to share the blame when Mother and c he fail to develop a Good relation. Of their brains was usually More Active while the right Sile seemed to be busier when they cried in anger. He believes that learning More about How the frontal lobes of babies brains mature will provide portent clues to understanding the development of Ferencek in personality. Tips on handling the terrible 2s by Marianne and Stephen Garber and Robyn Freedman Spizman Cox news service readers letter our son just turned 2. When he started preschool at 21 months he did great. The teachers adored him. He listened very Well and interacted. In past weeks he has become very aggressive at school and does not listen to his teachers. He pushes other children and hits them. He has gotten real bad about sharing. We Are very positive with him and he does get lots of love and compliments for Good behaviour. They put him in time out but he is still acting aggressively. Thank you for any advice you can offer. A . Dear . Two year Olds can be fairly aggressive in group situations if they have been used to getting their Way previously a As most 2-year-Olds have. Group situations highlight the Young child s egocentric Ity. In addition 2-year-Olds Are very rigid. They can be domineering and demanding. Much of the behaviour his teachers Are describing is classic during this year but not All of this is bad. Consider it an affirmation of the fact your child is learning he s an individual with rights opinions and the Power to make decisions. Next he must learn More acceptable ways to express himself. As your son spends More time in the preschool classroom he will naturally learn More about group dynamics As the other children assert their wills. Perhaps you can smooth the Way with these suggestions a Analyse the behaviour. When is your child aggressive is it in response to one particular word a Quot no Quot or is his Dander fluffed when another child enters his playing space is he trying to get attention frustrated by a task or just Plain tired each situation reflects a particular need. A teach your child to use his words. As your child s vocabulary increases it s Likely his aggression will decrease. Two year Olds typically understand a great Deal of what is said to them and can use words quite effectively when motivated to do so. However if a child can assert his will by grabbing a toy from a playmate or hitting a pal Why use words a use routines to your advantage. Youngsters a amps file two year Olds learn about group dynamics by playing together. Respond Well to routines. By streamlining procedures there will be less Opportunity Tor your child to be demanding until he learns How to assert his opinion less aggressively reduce the alternatives a offer practice. Many 2-year Olds play next to rather than with a Friend invite playmates to your Home so your child will have a variety of opportunities to play with Peers one on one limit the time and choose structured activities encourage turn to take turns and share at least one toy a use negative consequences because the teachers Are using time out at school you May want to use it at Home. When your son acts aggressively place him in a seat away from the action Tor two to three minutes. If he has a tendency to try to leave the spot put your hands on his shoulders to restrain him a necessary. When the time is up invite him to return reminding him How he can act More appropriately a be patient Many of the Behaviours your son is displaying Are age related As your child Gams More skills he will become less rigid and More flexible so that everything does t have to be done his Way some things he will do your Way a and enjoy to Nam too be fair with children new York times done to try to treat your children identically. That san impossible task anyway. Trying to do so Only encourages them to keep score and to seek out Petty differences that they can use in arguments with their siblings or with you. Instead emphasize fairness. Giving one child a skateboard and another a pair of roller skates or sending one child to piano lessons and another to Ballet class May make More sense than Force fitting both children into an activity Only one of them likes. Quot if you had 10 children and you made them 10 identical sandwiches each one of them would think that another got the Best Sandwich Quot said or. Lillian h. Robinson an emeritus professor of psychiatry and paediatrics at the Tulane University school of Medicine in new Orleans. She recalled seeing one woman who had 11 children Between the Ages of 2 and 20. The Mother was very concerned about treating her children equally. Quot one Christmas she gave each of them a bicycle Quot she said. Quot it was completely  look for ways to recognize and show respect for your children s differences. Doing so not Only increases their self esteem it also avoids the problems and expectations that come with attempts at identical treatment. Quot there s a difference Between equity and Equality Quot said or. Norman Epstein a clinical psychologist and an associate professor of family and Community development at the University of Maryland. Quot you can treat children fairly without treating them  pay attention to your children a accusations of favouritism. Even if you think there is no basis for their complaints it May be the Only Way they can express other frustrations. They May feel that it is safer to attack a Parent who probably will not reject them than to express anger at someone who May. Instead of simply arguing the Point let them know that you can see they Are upset. Keep the discussion focused on the task at hand like cleaning their room. If they Are still upset later ask what is bothering them. Try not to compare your children with one another. This often has the opposite effect from what parents intend. Think How resentful and upset you would feel if someone asked you Why you could not be like someone else. Saturday nay 26, 1990 the stars and stripes a Page 15