European Stars and Stripes (Newspaper) - September 16, 1990, Darmstadt, Hesse                                Back Home attic stuff is junk Only if it Isnit yours Kevin Cowherd it All started when we decided to get rid of some junk in the attic and she tossed my Mickey Mantle autograph baseball Glove in the trash. What Are you doing i asked. Throwing out this junk she said. We be got a lot of junk up Here. That a not junk i said. That a a Mickey Mantle autograph Glove. I got it when i was 10. You can to throw that out. You Haven to picked up that Glove in years she said. And who a Mickey Mantle 1 can to believe in a hearing this i said. Who a Mickey Mantle maybe the greatest baseball player in history that a who. Well she said he a dead now. So what difference does it make Mickey mantles not dead i said. You re thinking of Billy Martin. Or Dean Martin. Dean Martins not dead she said. You re thinking of Sammy Davis or. Listen i said we re not throwing out my old baseball Glove. If you want to get rid of some junk what about those old photographs those Are our wedding pictures she said. You want to throw out our wedding pictures let me Tell you something about wedding pictures i said. Nobody Ever looks at wedding pictures. Wedding pictures have the same shelf life As a quart of milk. They should come with an expiration Date. Three four Days after they re taken you might As Well toss Mem. You re nuts she said. People look at their wedding pictures All the time. Well i said id rather not look at our wedding pictures. We had some shaky looking characters at our wedding. The dance floor looked like the exercise Yard at Attica. We had a very Nice wedding she said. If you done to count the grooms friends. Look i said lets not argue about my friends. Let me just say this. If we had a party and we said to the guests of what do you want to see a Mickey Mantle autographed baseball Glove or some old wedding pictures people would want to see the Glove. You can take that to the Bank. No they  she said. No one would want to see that stupid Glove i done to care How much they were drinking. Yes they would i said. Its an Objet do Art. Personally signed by the Mick. And you wanted to toss it in the garbage. With the Coffee grinds. And Orange peels. Unbelievable. Give me a break she said. Its not the cloth they used to wrap Gandhi a body. Before we continue with this cleaning project i said we better get something straight. What a your definition of junk junk she said. Junk is an old baseball Glove with some dead Guys name on it. He a not dead i said. How Many times do we have to go Over this the Guy lives in Dallas or something. Mickey Mantle. I can to believe you never heard of Mickey Mantle. I done to want to talk about it any More she said. What about these old Elvis posters i happen to know for a fact that Elvis is dead. Lots of people would argue that i said. I know a woman who says the King works at a shoe town in Cincinnati. You better save those posters. But lets get rid of those old photo albums. Those Are my baby pictures she said. You want to throw away my baby pictures what is it with you and old pictures i said. You have Stock in Kodak or something besides if you be seen one baby you be seen them All. In a glad you did no to go into paediatrics she said. But these old books have got to go. Those Are my old College textbooks i said. Look Here a a Hemingway anthology. Hemingway she said. Great. Another dead Guy. The Many a writing lives on i said. You just hate every author whose name Isnit Stephen King. Let me Tell you something about Stephen King she said. In be met Stephen King. In be read All of Stephen Kings books. Believe me Hemingway was no Stephen King. Why i said. Because he did no to churn out a novel every five minutes Hemingway won the pulitzer and the Nobel prize for literature. What did Stephen King Ever win a the satanists Seal of approval i done to want to talk about Stephen King she said. Lets get Back to work Here. That set of weights stays i said. Done to touch that exercise Bike she said. We re not tossing those old life magazines i said. Leave that old suitcase she said. In a glad we got the attic straightened out. Baltimore evening Sun Center piece walking around in the shoes and uniforms of old soldiers is a Good Way to find out what their lives were like. Reporter Mark wonders and photographer Ken George Tell about history buffs who do just that. Pages 6-7. Not All printers Are created equal so make sure the one you get works Well with your computer. Page 5. Back Home .2 difference Between valuable and useless junk stateside views .3 Light look at what s almost news observations .4 the great threat of glasnost How has weak Dollar Hurt you most Home front.5 printers How to find the right Type pointers on photography books.8-9 reviews and Best Sellers James j. Kilpatrick loves a Good Pun science and the world .10 the responsibility of name calling at a glance Portugal Odds amp ends .11 videotapes and the new reality genealogy and Horoscope last laugh .12 Dave Barry cartoons from around the world unbowed Donald Trump explains to the world How he survives at the top. Page 8. Sunday is a weekly supplement of the stars and stripes. Editor John Taylor Art director Sharon Kilday Quot production Lisa Williams Denise Adams Page 2 c sunday september 16, 1990