European Stars and Stripes (Newspaper) - October 14, 1990, Darmstadt, Hesse Joe Bob Briggs Joe Bob gets serious about the Dice Man Abc got huge flak from their local stations because Andrew Dice Clay hosted Friday night videos recently to promote his new flick the adventures of Ford Fairlane. Let me repeat that the adventures of Ford Fairlane. Let me say it two or three More times since evidently nobody in the Media wants to let the Guy promote his movie Ford Fairlane Ford Fairlane the adventures of Ford Fairlane. Now. I done to care what the Dice Man says. I done to care How he says it. I done to care How Gross crude rude and Nasty he is when he says it. Enough Hollywood big shots have turned their backs on him the Many a been blacklisted. This ought make you mad. After he was on saturday night live in May and two performers walked off the show because they stand to be in the Guys presence and a lot of people got tickets to the show just so they could heckle the Guy and there was probably More pressure to be funny on one person than has Ever been applied to a stand up gig. Even if he was unfunny for five seconds people were Gonna say Quot overrated and a no big deals and a what a Jerk a even after All that the Dice Man scored the biggest ratings of the year and he did a Good Job. In the Aba that would be like Michael Jordan scoring 40 Points in the last Quarter to win the game. All it got the Dice Man was More grief. He was supposed to be on the Joan Rivers show but her staff walked off and the appearance was cancelled. This one was especially weird because Joan Rivers was the first person to get away with using the word a a slut on to and talks about the disgusting sex habits of real people. She Calls women a a cows and As far As i know she a never been considered too hot for network to. The Guys banned for life from empty a. He May have trouble getting movie deals. What a going on Here / there was a time when americans got mad about blacklists. Free the Dice Man. Go to his movie. Even if you done to Wanna see his movie buy a ticket to his movie. Its the Only thing the Jer Kolas understand. And speaking of logic from outer space peacemaker is a space alien super cop stunt movie that a the Best wheels and triggers action flick since action and you Guys knowhow much i love action Jackson. There a not a single minute of the movie without either a car Chase a fireball a fistfight a shootout an upside Down squad car a body through a plate Glass window or a Shotgun blast through the gut bucket. Remember when John Carpenter made that movie starman with Jeff Bridges As the weird card alien trying to get Home this is the same movie Only without the Sappy philosophy and Andrew Dice Clay is shown Here offending a sold out audience in san Diego. Up with not one but two Starmen attempting to blow holes in each others brains because one of them is a cop and the other one is a serial killer on another planet a Only you done to know which is which. Two breasts. Three dead bodies. Four plate Glass window smashing. One alien Post Teastie. Four motor vehicle chases with two motorcycle flips one fireball three demolished cars. Four gun Battles. Four fistfights. Door ripping. Wall ripping. Hand Rolls. Kung fun. Bimbo fun. Tear Gas fun. Drive in Academy award nominations for Hilary Shephard for saying after the sex a talk about your close encounters and Lance Edwards the alien cop for answering every question with a because in a a four stars. Joe Bob says Check it our. Dear Joe Bob there a a question that always Burns a Hole in my head every week when i read your column Why do you always say a Check it out about a movie no matter How Good or bad a review you give it for example you trashed saw n As bad As you trash any movie and you still gave it a three stars and told us to a Check it also in a confused because you said one of the problems of the movie in question was that it did no to make a lick of sense. Isnit this one of the Points on which you highly recommend movies and breast counts have been dangerously Low the past year is Joe Bob growing up say it ainu to so Joe. As Ever Jeff Graham Irving Tex. Dear Jeff 1 they just Arentt putting Asmann Erkid breasts in the movies As they used to. I done to have any explanation for this alarming state of affairs. It All started when Betsy Russell the Mascara Queen announced that she would no longer be popping her top. And even a bad saw is better than driving miss Daisy. Joe Bob Briggs the world s Only drive in movie critic is brought to you Courtesy of creators Syndicate. To discuss the meaning of life with Joe Bob or to get free junk in the mall and his Quot we Are the weird newsletter write Joe Bob Briggs . Box 2002, Dallas to 75221. Joe Bob s fax line is always open 214-368-2310. Pages to plus sunday october 14,1990
