European Stars and Stripes (Newspaper) - October 14, 1990, Darmstadt, Hesse                                I l Page 24last laugh the Hunting game Isnit for the unprepared Dave Barry Knight Ridder newspapers Hunting season is almost Here and soon thousands of sportsperson will be out in the Woods stalking the wily Deer As their Pioneer for parents once did.  be armed with nothing but their wits and their guns. Plus maybe a atm2-100 infrared Trail Monitor $149.99which attaches to a tree and a monitors big game activity in your Hunting area a then a digitally displays Day month and time that game penetrates  a a deluxe cassette game caller $179.99 that attracts various types of game by playing taped animal noises Over a a powerful Long Range  among the cassettes available at $7.99 each Are a baby Cottontail squeals and a a bulging Elk during  a a selection of chemical Deer attractants including a the rut stuff a which is a formulated from a in heat Doe and cow urine secretions a a plus Many other High tech Hunting products that can raise the Cost of getting a wily Deer to roughly $1,352 per wily ounce. These Fine Hunting products and Many More Are listed in a sportsperson supplies Catalon put out by Gander Mountain inc., which i recommend to those of you who enjoy entertaining Reading. Be sure to Check out the photograph on the cover which shows a Hunter wearing a Complete Hunting ensemble featuring color coordinated Bright Orange hat jacket pants and gloves plus perhaps a seductive dab of Doe and cow urine secretions behind each earlobe. He a sitting on a fallen log holding his Rifle and looking vigilantly off into the distance while about 10 meters behind him a Large Deer is bounding gaily through the Forest probably trying hard not to burst out laughing. The Hunter appears to be totally unaware of the Deer. Perhaps the batteries have died in his infrared Trail Monitor. I was so tickled by the Gander Mountain Catalon that i called the Alert Reader who sent it to me Barbara Clark of Greenfield wis., to thank her and she told me about a True Hunting adventure that happened to her husbands Best friends father. He was stalking Deer in the Northern Wisconsin Woods when he came to a Clearing and standing there in All its silent majesty was a 12-Point Buck. Realizing that this was a once in a lifetime Chance Barbara Clarks husbands Best friends father took careful aim and fired and the Deer fell Over and. And stuffing came out of it. Yes. He shot a stuffed Deer. It had been placed there by Wisconsin game officials to trap Hunters who shoot Deer from the Road which is illegal and  and unfair to the honest Hunters crouched in the Woods with their chemical attractants. I called the Wisconsin department of natural resources for More information about the Decoy Deer program and spokesman Ron Groener told me that it has caused a quite a to do because a the people who Are caught claim its  this is the same defense that was raised by Washington d.c., mayor and role Model Marion Bany after he was lured to a bugged hotel room by Federal narcotics agents using a stuffed Deer the Point is that you sportsperson need to be careful out there especially in Light of these alarming reports about radioactive Deer. If you think in a making this up Check out the article on Page 22 of the August 1990 Issue of scientific american which was sent to me by Alert Reader Dan Mcfaddin. The article states that radioactive wastes from department of Energy nuclear weapons facilities have been contaminating wildlife. Here is a direct quote Quot at the Savannah River Plant in South Carolina former department of Energy Engineer William Lawless remembers when radioactive turtles were found two Miles from the site on a commercial hog  think about that radioactive turtles. Other species that have been contaminated according to the article include geese ducks rabbits coyotes and a note the wording carefully Here a a an exploding Deer  i done to like the sound of that at All. You done to have to be a nuclear physicist to realize that its Only a matter of time before one of these Deer reaches critical mass and some unsuspecting sportsperson takes a shot at it and blam All that a left of the immediate Forest is a Large Crater and a mushroom Cloud containing billions of tiny glowing sport molecules. We can Only Hope As caring humans that such a tragedy never occurs or if it does that it will be available on rental videocassette. Ford London England to or o to amp Edna Ferber one of the brightest lights  of the new York a Bloomsbury group i of the 1920s and �?T30s, had a penchant for wearing tailored suits trousers and All. Noel Coward met her one Day in new York when he was wearing a suit very similar to the one she was sporting. A Edna you look almost like a Man a he told her. A a so do you a she replied Alfred Noronha j Hamburg a.d.d., Austria How Many ears does Captain Kirk of a Star trek Fame have three the right ear the left ear and the final front ear \ Wilma Kelley Woodbridge United kingdom overheard on our bus a i bet by now George Bush wishes son Neil had followed Ronald Rea gangs son and become a Ballet  bul Tammeus Kansas City Starc to plus sunday october 14,1990