European Stars and Stripes (Newspaper) - February 24, 1991, Darmstadt, Hesse Back Home whoever stuck us with new stamp made big mistake Kevin Cowherd the Baltimore evening Sun people done to write letters to each other the Way they used to and at 29 cents a stamp i can see Why. There Are very few people Worth 29 cents of your hard earned Money on a consistent basis. Your Mother maybe. And anyone who owes you Money or has ties to the Law enforcement or judicial branches of local government and can therefore help fix a speeding ticket. But after that the list thins considerably. Instead of writing you would setter off ignoring the rest of your Deadbeat family members and friends until such time As they assume you Are deceased and mercifully take you off their Christmas card list. The enduring mystery of course is Why the Price of a stamp was raised from a Quarter to 29 cents As opposed to an even 30 cent thereby guaranteeing a flood of pennies i the Market. This thing with the pennies b bad business. People do not like pennies. There Are too Many a new kids a the Block Quot go animated. Page 15. Leyar Barton hosts Reading Rainbow Quot one of the somewhat rare Prograis fee kids who like to think. Page 1. Pennies circulating throughout the Economy As it is contributing to a Hurliness and sense of despair among the general population. Pretty soon with this postal rate hike you w ill see people leaping from the roofs of apartment buildings and throwing themselves in front of City buses just to get away from All the pennies. Pennies will do that to you drive you absolutely insane if you let them. Not Long ago i saw a woman on a supermarket checkout line clawing and scratching through a Mound of pennies at the Bottom of her pocket Book apparently trying to find a Quarter to give the cashier. Soon the line at the Register stretched to the parking lot and people were grumbling loudly which was making her even More Panicky. A a these stupid pennies Quot she screamed w Hile the rest of us averted our eyes the Way you would if passing a disturbed person on the sidewalk. A stupid freaking finally in a fit of desperation she dumped the contents of her pocketbook on the counter. Then she rooted around frantically for several seconds before fishing out a Quarter and triumphantly handing it to the cashier. My god. And this was before the 29-cent stamp went into effect. Can you imagine this woman a state of mind now i la bet she foams at the Mouth and rotates her head 360 degrees if she gets within a Block of a Post office. Three months from now Shell be stopping traffic at downtown intersections running up to cars and shrieking obscenities about the postal service while frightened motorists quickly Roll up their observations. 3 the Little agonies of Snow dry ing that has weak Dollar forced you to give up from the cover .4-5 i amp Niffin artists leave their Marks features. 6 taking a break from Gulf worries the terms of War Hnat do they mean ? science and the world 7 Saltwater gargle and gelling Gelatin at a glance Lebanon books _ 8-9 Dick and Jane Are out real literature is in James j. Kilpatrick on devils a Quot Only Quot Odds amp ends .10 would you buy a used car from yourself genealogy and Horoscope to plus 11 is there any to for a child to likes to think television listings 12-14 local Cable and satellite schedules on television. 15 sew kids on the Block go animated Mark my words. Its craziness All these pennies on the open Market. There is another disturbing aspect to the new 29-cent stamp which i hesitate to mention for fear of alienating a certain segment of the readership. But Here goes. The new stamp has some sort of Flower pictured on it. It looks like a Rose to me although some of my colleagues say it amp a Tulip. One obviously senile fellow who frighteningly. Enough is still issued a press pass swore it was a red onion bulb. Whatever kind of flow Cris on this stamp the Point is its still a Flower. And Flowers it says Here do not belong on postage Stamps. War heroes belong on postage Stamps. Great scientists noted authors distinguished sports figures belong on Stamps. Noble animals such As. The Eagle or grizzly belong on Stamps. Historic scenes of National importance Suh As the signing of the declaration of Independence or the opening of the first automatic Teller Bank machine belong on Stamps. Elvis belongs on a stamp. The King is routinely spotted in every convenience store Winn Dixie and roller skating rink in the country. Might As Well stick him on a stamp too but 1 draw the line at Flowers. Flowers belong on boxes of bathroom tissue and certain living room sofas owned by uptight yuppies who will then cover them in protective plastic. But Flowers Are hardly the stirring symbols that belong on the postage Stamps of a great nation. If you disagree with me on this Issue Well that is certainly your privilege. Although you a be at direct Odds with Elvis. To talkback.16 John Stamos of Quot full House Quot has a past this weeks films. 18-19 Quot run Quot a run run from this movie Complete cafes circuit listings classified ads .20-23 last laugh.24 Dave Barry cartoons from around the world conservationists have caned out a Little love nest for cranes to encourage them to Breed. Page 7. Sunday is a weekly supplement of the stars and stripes editors John tier Art director Shiron or idly production l be . Denise editorial assistance less a
