European Stars and Stripes (Newspaper) - April 21, 1991, Darmstadt, Hesse                                Life without to proves silence is far from Golden Leanndra Caputo. A guest columnist no year ago today i moved into an m a apartment that did not have a to b b Antenna on the roof. No an to. J a Well a 1 remember saying a a that Sok i la do More  one year has passed since 1 made that claim and i have read every Book that is crammed into and atop my Library shelf. Some twice others. Three times. A 1 have dissected every Back Issue of Cosmo Glamour Vogue Esquire and rolling Stone that hide in forgotten drawers of my Home. During More desperate Ultra quiet hours of the night 1 have even turned to my husbands motorcycle. Magazines for stimulation. A Oil spots a every motorcyclists Nightmare a i have scrutinized dozens of clothing Cata logs that never seem to get thrown out. I have made countless lists of future purchases most of which end up crumbled into balls at the Side of my bed. At first i turned within myself to find non visual stimulation. It was to be a test of imagination and my own ability to self entertain. Those first few weeks without television were personal Jour nays into my own consciousness. I Felt Independent of the Media a non to Levi Sion indoctrinated soul surviving in a universe governed by Pepsi and Miller Lite commercials. From that stage of the game the possibilities of self created a a fun a seemed endless. Things changed quickly As a member of club infantry my husband is often living in the Woods. I socialize but invariably i end up coming Back to the quiet of my apartment. I do not have kids Only a year old pet Cockatiel that does not venture outside of his Cage and hisses whenever you put your face to the bars. A. A a a a. I would turn to my usual source of company a my bookshelf a and search vainly for something new to read. As time moved on fewer unread books turned up. Then one dismal Rainy deutschland night i found nothing. Even a passions fire flames had been devoured the weekend before. I decided to clean rearrange furniture restock my canned goods. Go on a Moth Estermina lion Mission in my laundry room. Paint my toenails. Give myself a Perm. The electric drone of the refrigerator buzzed through my brain like sadistic background music. Slowly  the situation became maddening i borrowed the 2001 a space Odyssey looking Antenna from a Friend. A it could work a she said wide eyed and hopeful. A you never  As i walk away with the Antenna Talisman in my hands i silently Pray to the great Media god above to please please let it work. As in a setting it up 1 am envisioning Theo Huxtable. Dan rather. That Bald Guy from night court. A bombardment of faces that i had previously taken for granted. I twist a into a plug c into d and a it docs not work. I had been told by countless Antenna users to Quot walk around the House with it to pick up an to vibes. I cannot walk through the House with this Antenna however because the Cord is too Short. I can however reach As far As possible while standing on one leg and tilt the Antenna toward the Uhl Caborn housing area at a Diagonal. This does not work. I shift the antennas reception direction Indi eating thing toward the opposite Side of the House. Still a buzzing blizzard graces my screen. After numerous vain attempts i somehow end up standing on a chair with the Antenna raised to the ceiling in a statue of Liberty pose. Now it seems the Spray of dots on the television screen appear to become More defined. I twist the reception thing frantically but the dots do not transform into Bryant Gumble. They remain dots. I step off the chair curse and throw the Antenna onto the floor. I swore off trying to receive an to from my apartment. Now i have people tape me shows Here and there. I try to keep my unread Book Supply flowing. I get by. Yet this situation has changed me. My a when 1 go Back to the states to going to. A a fantasies have altered greatly. I envision myself on a Couch feet outstretched onto the Coffee table to Remote in hand pressing the Channel Button lazily surveying the vast expanse of visual stimulation at my command. Hey if i get bored i can always shut the to off right. Leanndra Caputo is a registrar at the Wiesbaden education Center at Wiesbaden a Ger. Many. A a. A a. A a a a a. Send your thoughts in 500 words or less to be our guest j sunday Magazine the stars and stripes Apo 09211 or Postrach ii 14 37, d-6100, Darmstadt 11, Germany. Please include a recent photograph of  mgsc0\ men c i travelling i nurse tells her i tale childcare options in Alaska your face Here Page 5. From the cover. Father and son Are a formidable team on the court Page 4. Featured ._________.______.5 desperately seeking desert storm soldiers trends. .6 making your equalizer earn its keep laser disc classics science  .7 How to Stop worrying and love the cockroach germs on the chalice books and language. 8-9 about that Haney Reagan Book other hot White House stuff Odds amp ends .10 youth and finance Don t mix genealogy and Horoscope to plus. 11 the films of summer television listings. 12-14 local Cable and satellite schedules on television .15 "21 jump Street Quot and tiny Toons on video. 16 where do All the old films go to briefs. 17 Quot cheers a still America s favorite. This weeks films. 18-19 Cowa Bunga dude this one s a Dud Complete cafes circuit listings classified ads. 20-23 last laugh .24 Dave Barry cartoons from around the world sunday is a weekly supplement of the stars and stripes acting editor Sarah Bottorff Art direction Sibisan Harris production Michelle Bucher Kelly Quinn editorial assistance Louis Pierce. Marian Hamilton the Impact of loud music on the ear. Page 7.Page 2 b sunday. April 21. 1991