European Stars and Stripes (Newspaper) - May 12, 1991, Darmstadt, Hesse Be our guest Happy campers a whoever you Are editors note the following was written by it cmdr. Lynn Nicolai a Navy Reserve nurse from Atlanta a with the help of seven others tall ing themselves �?ofh-15 Happy campers a in mid february near Al Jubal saudi Arabia. Fleet Hospital 15 was a Field bused Marine support unit a sorbed facility staffed by reserves that it Nicolai said ended up seeing 88 percent of All combat related casualties from the war., Nicolai started listing Quot a glimpse at life at a Fleet Hospital 15, or How we will have a changed when we go Home Quot and wound up Reading the list at a Camp Talent show to a lot of applause. Now Back in Georgia she sends it on to the stars and stripes for us to print excerpts for those now coming shares the credit for the list with its. Art i land Dana Robey Dave Ukle Jim Armstrong Susan Walker and Kim Henry and it. Cmdr. Beth Perkins. How we will have changed when we get Home it form your friends and family that your i Home is , and you Are i the co of it. Uniform of the Day required. I no air Force gloves allowed. No walking on your grass inspections will be held on Short notice at when it is coldest. Remind everyone. Who wishes to speak to you that they must use the proper Chain of com Mand. Annoy everyone with the statement a a it a a Fine Navy colors daily at 0800. Wake neighbors. If you re up they should be too a a move into the smallest room in the House establish 6 feet of personal space. Measure exactly with tape rip up carpet to expose Cement Sprinkle Libr orally with drag in All useful looking pieces of Wood that can be found. Transform them into furniture. Hang Fly strips to add to the ambiance. A replace All doors in House with flaps. Duck when entering or exiting. A1 a sandbag rooms 4 High-2 wide. If you need More sandbags procure your neighbor s. If con fronted feign ignorance. A a when fire or ambulance sirens go off race out of your House and dive. Don mask forgive neighbors who notify local psychiatrist. _ a sandbag Mailbox to protect precious mail. Demand daily delivery. Request that you receive Quot to any a occupant a Lon Days when you get no personal mail. Do not read mail papers or magazines until they Are at least 10-18 Days old. A 1 f you Sec a line go stand in it. Something vital is being handed out. A a a always carry your flashlight. Undress by flashlight Shine Light in other Peoples eyes As a you fiddle with things. Lights out at 2200. Argue about this. Play taps. A henceforth refer to Bat Hiroms As Gariy needed head items to and fro in bucket a make things As inconvenient As possible use. Hair Diyco and or Curling Iron in dark next to sleeping people. Apply makeup in dark using flashlight and hand Mirror Pray for Good resulta privacy in he afro with act not allowed. Invite strangers regularly in groups of two or three. Run out of hot water during Shower. Replace a a Mirror in head with optically distorted material. Try to remember what you Macd to look Tike a. Carry bottled water everywhere. Wave your \ a id i All entrances a. 1 a double bag everything and Label it. Keep a Many household and clothing terns As possible in Ziploc bags. A a a a a a a a a a a / a a a run Jawn Mower fans and appliances continuously to simulate . Remove Muffler from car. Run it next to your bedroom window at night. A a Stop by local service station frequently to catch whiffs of burning Oil. A precede All announcements with a attention on the compound or a now hear make announcements at regular annoying intervals instead of summoning pc pfc a request their presence a be gone when they get there quota Post family laundry schedule provide each. Troop with a mesh bag pin id 1 and an indelible Marker. Wash All clothes together in hot water to promote shrinkage and discoloration. Make sure you return it wrinkled and Damp refuse to Iron anything write or St Cit your name and san on All possessions and clothing items include children and pets. 1 a a re name your Kitchen the a mess7facility,�?� refer to All meals As �?ochow.11 establish Chow limes. Make family members wait in line. A a a a a a provide Little or no fresh Rood a Only canned dehydrated or fake. Cook it to death. Serve from a Pouch or huge bottomless pan. Never prepare quite enough for everyone. Run out the cover.4-5 senic member moms talk about How great it is to be Home this Mother s Day. The drawing by artist Sharon Kisiday on the cover is front a photograph a taken by staff writer Cary Pomeroy. From the kids.6-7 american children Ait Over Europe talk about their mothers. Books and language 8-9 so what Good books does Cher curl up with James Kilpatrick on language Best seller lists. Odds amp ends.10 have we got uses for old bases miss manners and Horoscope ,. To plus. 11 counting he bad words on screen television listings. 12-14 local Cable and satellite schedules on television. 15 Quot the Simpsons Quot arrive on video .16 Tom Selleck and Debra Winger films on video fast track .17 the life and times of Howie Mandel this weeks films .18-19 a Oscar Quot a of what a bomb Complete tafe circuit listings classified ads .20-23 last laugh.24 Dave Harry cartoons from around the world or meshing Clotine All Trilk especially pud Ding. Sci to and All pen Able Fluke add jut a Pinch of and id All Diihr a a when you need to grit iwo uth you really Cun serve and Cut pc annl butter and Jelly at Kail once a Day. 0 when Fintcher form line. Pouf nil in com turned liquids into it rom prominently displayed bucket. Make everyone took at it immediately after caring. Savor the View. Scrape off plates into a Large Metal trash can then bang plate loudly on Side of can for it Ltd measure. Wipe Hunes on pairs belch. A Hoard Pepsi or Coke under your rack. Drink warm. Develop cravings for near Beer invite your friends to share it with you and get near a drunk. A use words like a a evolution in theater i country procure promulgate retrograde reentry very Tyll and As you were whenever Possi a have at least two or three useless meetings a Day. Form committees. Remember a committee can make a decision that is More ridiculous than any of its members a install at least Ope port a John in your Yard for aesthetic viewing pleasure. A a rename at least one pet or family member a a compliments of our Marine associate refer to All family members and friends Affee-., Tiona Cly As establish a a hog log a and a a hog elect a a hog instead of Grace , preface with a Chow Down Sprinkle conversation fit or a Semper a Call cadence when travelling in groups of three or More. Most senior member marches on far right. Be consistently off step ,. A Post Road guards whenever you Cross a Street. Hold up traffic a View everything you see As potential a Kodak moment or photo Opportunity. Carry your Cam a Era everywhere. Shoot anything that moves. A Start a new Rumor every Day. Have Rumor. Contests. Establish Rumor control unit. Commit self to never believing a Rumor again in your whole life. A walk in the wrong House tent at least once or twice. Pretend to know where you arc and what doing. Exit gracefully. A a a live by two new mottos a total flexibility is not flexible enough and a it is easier to beg for a give Ness than ask Wear your rub bar band Symbol of flexibility at All times. Live it. A Fly your american Flag proudly from your Hooch. Take great Pride in the fact that you survived the adversities of our fh-15 desert storm Mission. And even managed to have a Little fun relish your Homecoming. Celebrate we earned it. Sunday Magazine Seta aside ills space each week Lor guest columnists. Send in your thoughts. In 500 words or less with a recent photo to be our guest sunday Magazine the stars and stripes Apo 09211 or Postrach 11 14 37 0-6100 Darmstadt 11 Germany. Sunday is a weekly supplement of the stars and stripes acting editor Sarah Bottorff Art direction Sharon Kisiday production Kelly Quinn. .-.�. Lisa Williams editorial assistance Louis Pierce. Marian Hamilton Page 2 a sunday May 12, 1991
