European Stars and Stripes (Newspaper) - May 12, 1991, Darmstadt, Hesse                                Guys it s time to Dye your eyes for pro Dave Barry Knight Ridder newspaper Well High school seniors its almost time for graduation and that Means you re about to make the most important decision you will Ever make a decision that will determine the course of your entire life namely what to Wear to the prom. I m speaking especially to you gals. Your senior prom this years theme a a whole lot of inflated balloons should be a totally awesome experience provided that you follow Correct prom procedures. These can be found in the Spring 1991 Issue of your prom Magazine published by modern Bride. Your prom is chock full of prom advice and Glossy color advertisements for pro Wear featuring models who look exactly like High school Stu v dents would look if they were All professional models and resembled Tom cruise or Julia Roberts and did no to have acne. In fact High school students a look better today especially compared with the Way they looked when i was one in the Early 60s. When i Page through my High school yearbook theme a a goobers on Parade say to myself did we really look like that How come nobody told us How come in boys health class instead of or Beatty a spending an hour explaining How we could get mononucleosis from slow dancing a mononucleosis was a major fad Back then a he did no to just come right out and say Quot boys you re never going to get anywhere near the opposite sex until you Stop smearing your hair with what appears to be Moose  but you High school students today look great really and i know you re going to have a swell time at your proms if you have the right pro Wear and accessories this is critical  prom Magazine which Latta hta Hgt my Rev cynus gals should already have tet to your Arnm dress. If you Huberr ?. We is m Hujer Rev. Hir family car and get Dawn re  and try on dresses. A Zilow at Tess Xii Nanistor this a until you have round re car la he Tigh one.   in ism Trade the Famiie car for it to test s it Var Arram a. A we re Talkin Gabusi. Pram danger Alert Acutt Nigg tar. Tearing prom dress expert Xuy Uteri in to not . A a store can Garnin  to one else in your Choai will he �?�wcarmgrih�>3ennat.iicassof this happens to you. The Lara.   ruin your evening dim Hucorne emr Ger ant lunge at the girl  fac Kirland Ripca of Lens amp Tott  hands. A you could damage Yarm  is. A be Ter method  is responsible . Speaking tiny Xiuru i Alec. Your  states  Mould  am by now also. You  a who ii act sneering Ray a a Guy who  a Gay Vohr iss Sansiri dec Wiiri a Guy who. Above ail has Carea Yirai rpm Wear. If the / �tmht3> heh Tiitso t0f.himrtdat cosmetic surgery a  Imu Rhc week before the  teer.rt3r id Star i office is j Ammeda with  die halite. Tod sgenktngj3sv-xometits�. Dils Noi Fomai your pre prom Beauty 3cmummmx. Yew Batom Magazine contains a  regime Rha Iii Transf Jim you dam a Mornia  pets tar covered Wanh or Curr Rani Rutan. In us Northr same tune in took a Simuni  Toa to inf i with More Ingre Diemmi def Alicia Sana rate Steps in the Man Beauty rfcs which does not include the Mraz sex Imp naut  and the five step pet sure Tegner Nix. Sisr there wore i Beaury Parodz  Maunc 5cqi5, for example is. A Quot de Mhz Mowrar Tipper lip with sail Haman Creme Bike in a i As your prom Ruiru in Vise .7. Recon mini that Vou Marchese us i Tese menu Mats Esneda Ialiva  Monc. The la Cross Mumi 3xm which the Magazine rearm sea yrs us for a rdc Caius my your cer. A i Marmot  the  i to. A coir a a a rav Cias  Erm urn Nai Tdeus Toad Agate in de cad. Tar Acme n Mere a n Tec you could crack walnuts on and everybody was talking about it and the girls became so mortified that they Tan out and joined strict religious orders before we even crowned the prom King and Queen. This is the kind of prom memory you Young people will to member for the rest of your lives. I still have a Strong memory of Riding Home from Mcjunior prom in a car with about 17 other couples dropping the girls off at their houses one at a time. So when you walked your Date to the front door hoping despite the Clear risk of mononucleosis to kiss her Good night you had a Large audience. Also of course your dates front door had about 600,000 Watts of illumination on  dates father had actually rented police spotlights and positioned them around the Lawn aiming at the door so that when you attempted the kiss Man Euver you were clearly visible to Manian astronomers not to mention your friends Back in the car who were hooting and honking and pounding the doors in a sensitive and supportive manner. 1 doubt this kind of thing still goes on. Judging from Yout prom Magazine you Young people today Are a lot More sophisticated with your strapless gowns and limousines and Modem hairstyle gel and i am confident that especially for you Young ladies your prom will be a total fantasy experience from the instant your Date picks you up until the magical moment 13 hours Laid when he Ralphs on the Limo Driver. I get misty just thinking about it. Schwa0r0n urm Siai surnames a mtr to first ils. Ists1s Sart Naggie cars Messy Maasse Sis Butr a Ouick  9s Maui   War a Teves test s pcs tons Snash Bart Amsterdam Netherlands % a x y c is Jef. V i o taxing Mac account there Are no absolutes anymore tits Lup mos the Beten Dant remarkably