European Stars and Stripes (Newspaper) - October 13, 1991, Darmstadt, Hesse Where there a smoke there a marriage fire Mike Mcgee guest columnist Ever see he death of a marriage even a bad marriage ranks right up there with bad car accidents open sewers used toilet paper and nuclear waste. All marriages Start out As living organisms. Most of them grow. They metabolize. They age. And so they can die. Just like a human being. Like me. Or like any other living organism. And they can be murdered. The death is More or less like what happens in the Church Light after the powerful teary eyed wedding ceremony. After everyone but the pimply laced altar boy has left the quiet Sanctuary. Rut no one Ever really sees it. Even the altar boy misses it in Bis Youthful haste to get where he thinks he needs to be next. What 110 one at the wedding Ever sees is what happens when the altar boy blows out the candles. He takes Racks full of flickering while candles alight with the fire of the love Hope aspirations and dreams of the new marriage. And when no one is looking he snuffs them leaving nothing hut a few filigree of Wispy smoke. Holy smoke. That s pretty much All that is left when the marriage ends Dies or is murdered. Why docs it happen sometimes partners discover that they never really loved each other to begin with. The whole thing was a cruel joke from jump Street. Whoops sometimes one partner so outgrows the other a callous class system sets in on the marriage. The lower class decides enough is enough. Revolution. Sometimes professions compete. A co worker displaces one marriage partner. The other partner simply gets lost in the shuffle. Sometimes the stresses of modern living make the marriage explode. Pop like a red balloon at a Lal kids birthday party. Bang sometimes somehow the love naturally Dies usually Long before anybody recognizes it has happened or is w Illing to admit it. Sometimes the marriage croaks because it is ignored. The partnership kind of gets the marital version of what psychologists Call Ana clinic depression. Sometimes one partner can simply no longer stand being in the same room with the other partner. And sometimes the love is brutally murdered usually by an act or acts of infidelity or abuse. Or both How does it happen if we really knew that we could All become marriage surgeons and maybe run around saving life partnerships that have somehow slipped to the Edge of the divorce abyss. Maybe we could even save our of n marriages. Maybe. If we really wanted to. Therapy. Self administered. Simple stuff. Like a i m or Quot i did t mean or "1 forgive or a i bought this for or a a let a go out for or "1 Trust or a a in la give you some or Quot let me help you with or Quot i love or a i Don t want to go on without then again maybe it s not really Worth the Effort. I guess each of us has to decide that for himself. And it has to be based on something More than the a a investment we be made in the partnership. It has to come from the heart. And it must rest in the future. However a broken marriage happens it s unfortunate. And bloody. And heart rending. Kind of like War. All that the survivors Are left with Are an aching heart a handful of ashes and smoke. Holy smoke. It. Col Mike Mcgee is stationed in Bamberg Germany. Send in your column plus a photo of yourself to be our guest sunday Magazine the stars and stripes Apo 09211 or Postrach 11 14 37, d-6100 Darmstadt 11, Germany. Com i \ 1 s t Runk Sinatra shows his age. Page 11.sunday is a weekly supplement of the stars and stripes. Editor Bucky Fox Art direction Wes Booher Susan p. Harris production Kelly Quinn editorial assistance Marian Hamilton Louis Pierce from the cover .4-6 sorting out the Christopher Columbus legend. Andy Rooney .7 nuts about Peanut butter. Books and language. 8-9 comeback try of a gone u7.i the Witul. Quot Odds amp ends .10 Cindy Chamfer has the answers. To Frank Sinatra on stage at 75. Television listings 12-14 let a Al Cable and satellite schedules. On the air .15 Muhammad All s knockout life. Home entertainment .16 Quot the doors Quot open on Vii Leo. Joe Bob Briggs .17 .1 Goodyne to or. Seuss. This weeks films .18-19 Chuck i Inch Quot deceived Quot rates three stars. Cut in plete circuit listings. Classified ads .20-23 last laugh .24 Daw Llano mans the ceiling. Muhammad Ali film a Winner. Page 15. Page 2 a sunday of Lobac r 13, 1991
