European Stars and Stripes (Newspaper) - October 13, 1991, Darmstadt, Hesse Re. Tip. A Ai arese -.7/ dueling rhymes and time to let Loose of or. Seuss i had this dream the other night where i saw Sam Kinison murder or. Seuss. It was horrible Kinison was Strung out on Crystal meth and he was screaming a you screwed up my life i Hull Yurt la the Turtle i Wanna throw up every time i hear one of those rhymes Quot and or. Seuss was just Kinda laying Back smoking a pipe in the Corner saying things like a you misunderstand me my corpulent Sam a you arc what you arc 1 am what i and Sam would say that s what Imean you Mush head you cull that poetry they be got monkeys typing on ism so ice tries that can do better than that a and this bother or. Seuss a bit a have a scat take a chair a quit your trumping around a take a breath fix your hair a Stop that bellowing this would make Sam even More mad till he just started screaming a no wonder you can Only relate to zoo animals you re a Hack a then a strange thing happened. The two men suddenly started to communicate. The louder Sam Kinison got the louder or. Seuss got. But the louder or. Seuss got the quieter Sam Kinison got. Pretty soon they were both talking at the same level. A you Ever considered Barber shop school a said Kinison. A you Are droll you Are witty a but your jokes Are not then i done to know if it was the Crystal meth or the situation or some brain vessels going haywire but suddenly Kinison trips out and starts rhyming a have you met my sex wife a what a Dud what a slut a her in was less a than the Width of her there was something about that particular rhyme that caused or. Seuss to break Down. He stand it. He said a a you re slumping your Gums a in a most Tacky Way a if you can to speak politely a then you have anything to when or. Seuss said that last line he suddenly blushed knowing he had finally forced a rhyme by putting Way too Many syllables in it. Sam Kinison started laughing like a Hyena. A a you re not even scanning a a you re a Hack you re a joke. A even rappers done to do that a your Rhymer is or. Seuss was flustered trying to get his composure Back. He started screaming a a you re a fat smelly creep a you re annoying you re crude a so get out of my face Quot and go shovel More even Sam Kinison was shocked lie said "1 meant you no harm a and 1 did t intend a to do anything More Quot than to make you my but Seuss was out of control now a Don t make me laugh a ooh. What a doozy Quot what 1 would t give Quot for a knife and an Uzi. �?o1 would slice you in half a like a Deer or a fish Quot mount your head on my Wall Quot pull your legs. Make a wish a just As Sam started to sit on or. Seuss head. I woke up in a cold sweat. Two Days later or. Seuss was dead. 1 Teel responsible. Speaking of great american institutions this week s movie Bikini Island is the Story of a serial killer who is killing sports illustrated Type swimsuit models with a giant bathroom plunger. Drive in movie scream Queen Holly Floria goes to a cattle Call gets selected by some drooling Sleazy ids to be part of a swimsuit edition takes a couple showers roots around on the Beach and eventually Battles a Bow and Arrow yielding Bikini Bunny to the death. I Hope no one out there is laughing because this is a based in part on a True i think the fictional part is the Bow and Arrow. The serial killer Bikini Bunny actually used Poison darts eight dead bodies. Six breasts. Rubber Hose strangling. Cliff plunge. Slow motion body Oil rubbing. Live mouse devoured by a Snake. Gratuitous volleyball. King fun. Bimbo fun. Plunger fun. Drive in Academy award nominations for Seth Thomas As the Tough talking Magazine owner for saying �?o1 want those girls in the Magazine not in your bed a Sherry Jensen As the cold fish hair stylist for saying a fall right ladies lets dance a Jackson Robinson As the Sleazy producer for saying Quot you probably / done to believe this but this is my first time with a Model and a i done to know what a going on Here but we Are losing models left and right a Shannon Stiles As the Brunette Bimbo for saying Quot everything turns me on a Alicia Anne Kowalski As the tall Bimbo with a killer crossbow for saying a i guess in a just a sore loser a and Anthony Markes the director for putting a song in the movie called a fall the Palm Trees Are smiling on Bikini Island a one Star. Joe Bob says Check it bobs advice to the hopeless Victory Over communism the Kanopolis Kan drive in had a Banner year with a land office business a according to 71-Ycar-old owner Tony blazing an sex Miner who built the theater in 1952. Christie Kennard of Mission kan., reminds us that with eternal vigilance the drive in will never die. Dear Joe Bob have you Ever thought about what will happen if god is a woman we have and we re really really scared. Blake 11. Smith John r. Menowsky Austin. Texas dear Blake and John i done to guess a a in la Call you tomorrow Quot would work would it dear Joe Bob a Lover of country Rock soul blues jazz and Jimmy Buffet i listen to the local a a weird station pig Freedom Calif., while driving to and being at work. Imagine my Large Brown eyes bugging out when i heard the first Joe Bob Briggs drive in movie and video tape review this person with the voice that assaulted my sense was speaking about horrible things in a very funny Way i have a name for this reverse humor copyrighted. The Man behind the ideas and voice was intriguing. I pictured him As a Short fat balding Guy with an extremely bad Choice of interests but the guts and humor to pull off his idea and show. Then 1 saw you on the tonight show. I la Tell you straight out Joe Bob my Mouth dropped open the a a voice with this physical perfection this physical perfection with these less than human interests what am i to do is it possible that a mortal with your gifts would continue to use them to encourage violence without thought mindless titillation and looking for beasts when you Are one Job 1 am challenging you to use your gift to influence an untold population toward the goal of humanism. Susan Mcknight Scotts Valley Calif. Dear Susan Lem me get this straight. You thought i was a Yahoo. An entertaining Yahoo but a Yahoo. Then you saw me go on the tonight show and act basically like a Yahoo. But you thought i was a Good looking Yahoo. So now that in Man entertaining Yahoo and a Good looking Yahoo you think i should become the Yahoo Gandhi and create world peace. Is that about it see Honey you be got to live in California to think that Way. Dear Joe Bob i know that you be heard some interesting observations about life in Papua new Guinea. But can a country that wants to re open their one and Only drive in the Skyline drive in As Well As a country that shows Bonanza reruns featuring your buddy Wayne Newton be All that bad of course not its Joe bobs Paradise we re anxiously awaiting your visit Susan Mcgee Borowko Papua new Guinea dear Susan i wont have to eat human flesh or anything will i not that in a prejudiced. To discuss the meaning of life with Joe Bob or to gel free junk in the mail and his world famous we Are the weird newsletter write Joe Bob. bom 2002, Dallas to 75221 Joe Bob s fax line is 214-368-2310. A creators Syndicate Holly Floria in one piece in Bikini Island. Joe Bob Briggs creators Syndicate october 13. 1991 sunday a Page 17
