European Stars and Stripes (Newspaper) - December 1, 1991, Darmstadt, Hesse                                Page 10 Odds amp ends newcomers learn that military life Only gets crazier miss m \  Cindy Chambers column i is i could Tell the ladies at the Corner table were newcomers. A military life is so Uncertain Quot one declared taking a healthy swig of her double Martini. A i hate not knowing where we re going to be from year to  a year to year a the other responded knocking Back a Gin and tonic. A i never know if my husbands going to be Home from night to night a it did no to take a professional eavesdropper like myself to figure out these women were new to military life. You could Tell they were the kind of people who see the rank Quot msgr and think it stands for Mon sodium glutamate. The sort of folks who think cola is something you drink when you go off your diet. The kind of women who a heaven help them a worry about their height when asked whether they re a getting  first of All they did no to have the characteristic nervous tic that develops after one move too Many. Second anyone who thinks military life is filled with uncertainty has never tried to buy pumpkin pie filling at a commissary in november. You can count on it not being there. And after you be been with the military for a thousand years roughly three Quot human Quot year you realize there arc lots of certainties about military life. They re just not the kind you want to dwell on when you re trying to sleep at night. For instance you can be absolutely certain your kids will get ear infections within 48 hours of your husbands departure for the Field. You can bet it will rain the entire time he is out and that no matter How bad things were in his absence he had a worse time than you did. You can count on the temperature dropping 30 degrees the very week they turn off the heat in housing. You can be certain the kid in the apartment next to yours will play the Drums a probably for a Nice quiet band with a name like satan a brain. And you can rest assured that no matter what rank you reach the really Good government quarters will go to the rank just above yours. Without a doubt you la be visited by relatives during your stay in Europe. And during their visit you will discover another certainty the fact that bringing a stroller on Castle tour guarantees it will have at least 36 flights of stairs. After a while you la get to be a pro at looking for these assurances. So you la know without a doubt that when your last Box is unpacked your child is finally settled in school and you find a Job you absolutely love its time to move. Cindy Chambers is a military family member in Schweinfurt Ger Many. Judith Martin dear miss manners i am a slightly overweight 17-Ycar-old girl Host grandmother constantly criticizes me. For a Long time i simply accepted her sarcasm without comment but last month i blew up at her. My father was having a birthday party and when i asked for a second piece of cake my grandmother told me that i waddled when i walked and that it was no wonder i did no to have a Boyfriend. This especially upset me because my older Cousin who is thin and Beautiful and has lots of boyfriends was also at the party. I told my grandmother to shut up and said my weight was no business of hers. She left that evening in a rage and Hasni to visited us since. My parents Are still angry with me. They agree that my grandmother has been rude but they also say i had no right to speak in that manner to an elderly relative. I say that being elderly and a relative does no to give anyone the right to Hurt and insult another person. What do you think gentle Reader like your parents miss manners is caught Between two generations of rudeness. And like them she does no to like it one bit. No being old and related does not give one License to be rude. But neither does being treated rudely give one License to be rude. The difference Between you and your grandmother in this Case is that there is More Hope that you can learn to be polite. Or so your parents and miss manners would like to believe. Done to think that we Lack sympathy with you by asking you to apologize. Miss manners will even allow you to make a veiled reference in the apology to the source of the trouble a something along the lines of a a in a very sorry that i let your teasing get me so upset that i behaved badly a teasing a in this Case is a euphemism for goading. You can to Point this out but perhaps one of your parents a the one who is this lady s child a might be Able to suggest that her method exacerbates rather than helps your difficulty. Dear miss manners when my husband and i go out to dinner with friends and we pay the Check i feel free to order anything i want from the menu. But when someone else is paying i feel that i should order a less expensive dinner. My husband said 1 should order what i like and then offer to help with the Bill. Gentle Reader. It is not quite Nice to offer to pay when someone else has made it Clear that you arc his or her guest and even less Nice if such an offer seems to assume that the invitation had a . As it happens there is a Rule that a guest always orders a from the Middle of the menu a neither the cheapest item nor the most expensive. The Host can get around this by declaring his intention of ordering the most expensive item on the menu or merely by recommending it to you. You Are then free to order what you want. Dear miss manners my 24-Ycar-old son recently attended a wedding for his Friend and when 1 asked what he was giving the bridal couple he told me that he Hadnot even thought about it since he had up to a year after the wedding to Send a gift. I guess my Shock was apparent because he told me that this was the new social Rule for giving presents. He said that everyone his age knows that and that the rules i once knew had changed. Gentle Reader. The fact is that this is a very old Rule. That it happens to be More sensible than Ever in a time when marriages themselves May not last a year is coincidental. Any time from the announcement of the engagement until the end of the first year of marriage is considered approx private for sending a wedding present. United feature Syndicate Llu it s r 1 s Sagittarius nov. 22-dec. 20 people want to Tell you their problems today. You can give them Good advice spend time outdoors. Capricorn dec. 21-Jan. 19 you May have overextended yourself during the week. Now a the time to relax and done to feel guilty about sleeping in. Aquarius Jan. 20-feb. 18 be spontaneous. Today your spirit of Freedom is dying Tor adventure and you re Able to create it. Pisces feb. 19-March 20 follow through on commitments it will help you in your career try to stay disciplined. Aries March 21-april 19 get in touch with your spirituality to keep you entered. Favourable time for studying foreign languages. Taurus april 20-May 20 play Handyman today. Fix things around the House that you be been neglecting think about recycling gemini May 21-june 20 you May seek approval from others today. People will enjoy your Light hearted humor cancer june 21-july 22 spend time in the Garden. Tending plants can give you satisfaction so will taking care of pets. Leo july 23-aug. 22 you have enough Energy and self Confidence to accomplish whatever you want today. Remember to consider other people s feelings too. Virgo aug. 23-sept. 22 Domestic Side of life needs your attention. Enjoy Quality family time. You might want to try out old family recipes. Libra sept. 23-oct. 22 your intellectual level is High so do things that stimulate your mind. A Good Day for writing correspondence Scorpio oct. 23-nov. 21 you need to partake in the creature comforts. Please the senses so you can relieve some stress. Copley news service sunday december 1, 1991