European Stars and Stripes (Newspaper) - February 23, 1992, Darmstadt, Hesse From Page 6 sensibility look ridiculous As any living thing would that has been reduced to a trinket or Bagatelle. It is hard to conceive of a setting most of these Overly coiffure pixies would be in place except victorian sitting rooms. In the ring they re amusing to watch. Their tiny feet appear not to touch the ground As they follow their handlers. The Overall impression they leave is of nervous finches hopping around on the end of Sticks. The dogs that look most at Home in the show ring Are the terriers and spaniels. The Bright lights the domineering judges the cajoling handlers a this is their world. Terriers and spaniels have glorious pasts As Hunting companions but they have been bred the Way roses have been propagated to look their Best in Competition. Not Burly enough to be labourers not effete enough to look pampered they Are the entertainers of the dog world. Show them a spotlight and make them Happy. And then there Are the poodles. Once raised As Hunters and retrievers they have been subjected to so much adulteration they would seem to be spoiled forever. They above All other Breeds Are made to look ridiculous. Poodles suffer themselves to be outfitted like clowns but they done to play the fool for anyone. There is something in poodles however clipped and shaved that permits them to retain their dignity and Pride of lineage. These self assured creatures hold their Heads High look out resolutely and show themselves to the judge with All the heart of Nobles before a King. No one is really the master of a Good show poodle. It is easier to Admire them in their hairdos and ribbons than it is a lot of other dogs who look less comical but act More subservient. The greatest Joy of the Westminster dog show is the diversity of Breeds it brings under one roof. Only Noah in his Ark had the Delight of such a variety of animals. The Friendly Cocker Spaniel eager for attention. The exotic Ibiza hound with its dog eyes and Deer face. The czarist borzoi sitting regally on a lace trimmed Pillow. The Black and Tan Coon hound lazily asleep in its crate. The Odd Basenji with its yodelling bark. The Wolf faced malamute nuzzling his owner. The Westminster show emphasizes questionable values like privilege and rank but at the Bottom its also about that magnificent creature called dog. In this contest of excellencies the dogs themselves Are the most excellent of All. Charlap v. Bourbon is in Good hands with Christina Marley alter his Junior showmanship suspicion that spying has never worked Andy Rooney what a a Nice country like the United states doing in a tawdry dishonest business like spying if they Cut the $30 billion Central intelligence Agency budget by 75 percent tomorrow it be a month too soon. A the Ciao is a better Way to refer to the Agency because it avoids the word there Are a dozen reasons Why the United states should not be engaged in the sort of activity the Cia specializes in but you can reduce those to two 1. Spying is illegal immoral and unethical. 2. Spying does no to work and its a waste of Money. A few weeks Back it was announced that the Deputy director of the Cia Richard Kerr was resigning. But inasmuch As he was critical of the new director Robert Gates during his confirmation hearings it Kinda makes a wonder Kinda makes you think. What it makes you think is he was an honest Guy who got fired. This would be a Good time to get rid of most of what the Cia does because there a a common perception that we re in no imminent danger of attack from anyone. The common perception is important because it would make it easier to drastically Cut Cia funds. Intelligence agencies of every country work the same Way. They convince citizens that they re about to be attacked by another country and because of the threat there a a need for All sorts of spy and intelligence activity. When the threat does no to materialize the intelligence Agency does no to admit it was wrong it takes credit. It says the enemy did no to attack because we built up our defences. The enemy knew we were prepared so they changed their minds about attacking us. The faulty intelligence provided us by the Cia about the soviet Union for 40 years Cost us thousands of billions of dollars. A nations intelligence is wrong As often As its right. How come we did no to know Saddam Hussein has As much nuclear strength As he did have How come we did no to have the information that North Korea was about to attack South Korea in 1950? there was a Story recently about weapons the cubans had that we did no to know about when we were thinking of going in there. How come we did no to know Why our spies locate the hostages in Lebanon for six years the course of events in the world has been Little changed by anything spies Ever came up with. They make Good movies and Good novels but they Arentt Good for much else. The legendary Mata Hari of literature was a fabulously Brave and Beautiful woman. In the books she is sentenced to death As a spy and standing in front of a French firing squad bares her breasts in the Hope that the French soldiers will be distracted. In actual fact Mata Hari was an unattractive prostitute who never got any useful information out of anyone. Spies Are generally speaking maladjusted double dealing misfits who can to make a living at anything else. The spies of our country and the spies of their country Are the same people. They re interchangeable. When you hear of defectors its almost always spies who defect not other government officials. Spies defect because they re congenitally dishonest and get their kicks out of deception. Intelligence agencies Are impervious to the kind of inspection or criticism that other agencies of a democratic government arc subjected to. When the Cia is questioned about anything it has a Standard answer a sorry. Torture us but we re patriotic americans. That a a secret that would Compromise the Security of the United spy agencies spend half their time trying to catch other spies. The course of few historical events has been altered by their work. There a a Case to be made for collecting and interpreting information. That a Why the Cia should be left with 25 percent of its budget but with none of its spies. The novelists of the future should have to go it alone. Tribune Media services february 23. 1992 sunday a Page 7
