European Stars and Stripes (Newspaper) - February 28, 1992, Darmstadt, Hesse                                Friday february 28, 1992 the stars and stripes a Page 19 3. Ann Landers dear Ann Landers in High school i was your typical cheerleader a bouncy preppy and popular. When i started to Date the Star on the football team All the girls envied me. He Wasny to your average Rock headed Jock. He was sensitive and intelligent and i really fell in love with him. We parted when i went East to College and he stayed in the West. It is now five years later and we Are both Back in the old Hometown. Of course the flame was rekindled and this is what in a writing about. The other night when we were getting intimate he was impotent. I tried to make a joke of it and said a a you re not Gay Are you a Ann i was totally shocked when he replied a a in a not sure. Maybe i  he then proceeded to Tell me about a three year relationship he had maintained in College with a male teachers assistant. He says he is terribly confused and needs time to a work things  i done to know what to make of this. I still love him Ann but i no longer want to sleep with him. With All we hear about aids these Days i am scared to death. If he asks me to marry him should i consider it please help me think straight. Beside myself in Seattle dear Seattle you Are Lucky the Young Man was so honest. Others May not have been. You must now face the fact that your Friend May be a homosexual. If you have any interest in becoming intimate with him you should definitely wait until he has been tested for aids and brings you the written results. I recommend counselling for him. It is obvious that he has not come to terms with his sexuality. Until this today s crossword dear Abby dear Abby my husband recently quit smoking and has gained a lot of weight. I am proud of him for giving up cigarettes he was a two pack a Day Man but his weight problem worries me. He has always been a very Nice Dresser and used to look Good in his clothes. Now his shirts Are stretched around his midsection. He prefers Button Down collars that Are now uncomfortable so he has to unbutton them most of the time. This makes him look Sloppy. He refuses to buy a larger size because he is a going to lose  if i say anything about his weight or suggest that he buy some clothes that fit him he becomes defensive and resentful. Would you please make some suggestions for him and the Many other men with the same problem if he could just see himself As others do he might lose some weight and look Nice in his clothes. Frustrated wife dear frustrated your husband a and a the Many other men with the same problem Quot a Are not interested in any advice from Abby. But May i give you some matter is resolved and his medical report comes through i suggest you put everything on hold. Dear Ann Landers. My father and Mother have been married for 40 years. He has a mistress with whom he has had a relationship for almost 20 years. I am sure my Mother is aware of this woman because my father has spent every weekend away from Home As far Back As i can remember. My father and his Girlfriend visit my sister a Kathy Quot almost every weekend. My younger sister a Rachel a refuses to go to Kathy a House on weekends because of the girlfriends presence. I enjoy going to Kathy a because she is a lot of fun to be with and my husband loves being around my father. They have a great Deal in common and enjoy hanging out together. By being in her company am i telling this woman that i think her relationship with my father is of also am i showing a Lack of respect for my Mother when i socialize with my father and his Girlfriend i have some very mixed emotions and would appreciate your opinion. Divided loyalties in new York dear divided adult children who offer hospitality to or visit their father when he is with his Girlfriend Are giving tacit approval to the relationship. They arc also being disloyal to their Mother. I suggest that you visit your sister when your father and his Girlfriend Are not there. Your husband can Eiyo your fathers company in your Home or your fathers. Since our society has become much More freewheeling these past few years i have received this question frequently and my response is one in be Given a lot of thought to. I Hope you take it seriously. C creators Syndicate How your husband looks in his clothes is not As important As the condition of his health. Tell him you love him and want to grow old with him and All that extra weight could take years Oft his life. He needs to see his physician now for a general  can bet the doctor will put him on a diet. And if your husband keeps putting off a doctors appointment ask him if his life insurance policy is up to Date. Dear Abby when a married male Friend of mine Dies should i address any correspondence to his widow As a mrs. Her first name Doe a or As a mrs. John  George Demian dear George Johns widow should be properly and legally addressed As mrs. John Doe until she Dies or remarries. Dear Abby i am the wedding coordinator at our Church and the brides Are informed by me at our very first meeting that throwing Rice or Birdseed is not allowed. You see both Are very dangerous when walked on. Most churches cannot afford the lawsuits that could result if someone fell and was seriously Hurt. Joanne Toghill Vista Calif. 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