European Stars and Stripes (Newspaper) - May 3, 1992, Darmstadt, Hesse Odds amp ends miss m Vii is Judith Martin dear miss manners please suggest a solution for 18-year-old male twins being a Best the Groom is in his 20s. Gentle Reader solution miss manners helped cause the problem. Contrary to general opinion in our show business oriented society the concept behind the wedding party is not to cast a number of preset roles but to have the individuals to whom the couple feel close play a part in the ceremony. Miss manners keeps urging people to think of the people first not requirement of age gender or even in this Case number. If the bridegrooms Best friends Are 18-year-old twins Why not have them act As Best men dear miss manners our family has not been a close one. Both emotionally and geographically we Are separated. However we recently organized our first family reunion. Almost everyone came and it seemed to go reasonably Well on the surface. One of my Sisters brought along a Friend for her 12-Ycar-old daughter. Although i Felt this was completely out of place i said nothing As we were unaware of her intention earlier. The girl was accepted by All. When i took pictures it became awkward. I sensed the unfortunate situation but Felt these pictures were memories of a once in a lifetime occasion. I was As polite As i could be but i excluded her. I am now the victim of a fault finding frenzy. I am accused of being rude and insensitive. This new a a excuse is causing a rift in our family. I feel Hurt and unjustly judged. I think the Lack of understanding of customary practices is what created the situation a not me. I would appreciate a note on the proper manners for inviting strangers to a family reunion or similar occasion. Gentle Reader the etiquette of any invitation is that one does not bring uninvited guests or that asks in Advance what policy about other guests will be satisfactory to everyone. Miss manners is sure you will like to hear that. But right now she is less concerned with that general Rule than she is with the particular Case of being Nice to a guest especially a child however the guest happened to be there. And there you will not like what miss manners has to say. Making it Clear to a child at a party that she is an outsider if not actually an intruder is rude and cruel. Miss manners can think of no justification for it. The child herself was innocent of the arrangements and yet she bore the bunt of the embarrassment. Anyway pictures arc supposed to reflect the occasion at which they were taken. And this occasion happened to include your nieces Friend. Why could the guest not be included and identified As such in your albums that is not to say that you could not have gotten pictures that omitted her either by posing a few of for example your generation Only or even by asking her to take one of the group pictures for you which would put her out of camera Range by being in a position of Trust and Honor behind it. But to do this in a Way that made it Clear to the child that she did not belong at the event is a greater transgression of etiquette than the one of bringing an uninvited guest. As your family was by your account not close to begin with and Quick to take what you consider to be an a a excuse for feuding it is perhaps Well that your Niece cultivate friends. She will need them. Dear miss manners my Fiance and i Are trying to finalize the members of the wedding party. Should the ring bearer and the Flower girl be a certain age or is it up to each couple to decide gentle Reader the ring bearer and the Flower girl Are supposed to be of an age to make everyone smile and nudge one another and say a Law wow look Ooka during the processional. A Mere a a done to they look cute a with no extra letters in the pronunciations Means that the Young people Are old enough to be Junior bridesmaid and usher. What age produces the desired affect is something that the bridal couple May decide. Dear miss manners when our son and his Bride to be sent out their wedding invitations they forgot to include enough postage. The amount overdue was 23 cents each. The brides Mother stopped her postman and retrieved As Many As she could. I contacted three Post offices in our area and had them cull out the invitations. I then paid the postage due before they were sent on. However Many went out of state and we done to know How to handle this embarrassment. My daughter laughingly suggested that we should simply include a Little pile of coins at each place at the reception dinner. Gentle Reader your daughter has the right idea a not the one about refunding change at the reception but the one about making a joke of it. But you can to wait until the reception. You must Deal first with the emergency Possi bitty that some of these invitations did not arrive at their destinations. You a or better yet your son and his Bride to be a must now dash off amusing Little notes a or make Telephone Calls a explaining the problem and apologizing. It take much of a joke to turn this into something memorably funny. There is comedy enough already in the situation of a flustered bridal couple. United feature Syndicate Yokom on s Taurus april 20-May 20 the weight of responsibility is heavy on your shoulders but Romance helps you carry the Load. Gemini May 21-june 20 working at Home can be quite pleasant. Decorate to create the perfect space. Cancer june 21-july 22 move ahead with business projects. This is a great time to sign contracts. Leo july 23-aug. 22 your financial picture improves and shows Promise of increased personal gains. Invest it. Virgo aug. 23-sept. 22. You get a new lease on life. Your self Confidence expands with new experiences and learning. Lirra sept. 23-oct. 22. Stimulate your mind to reach the outer limits of thought. Some Good conversation does the trick Scorpio oct. 23-nov. 21 Energy needs to be changed in your immediate surroundings make the Effort. Sagittarius nov 22-dec 20 Many professional opportunities Are opening up for you now. Explore them All. Capricorn dec. 21-Jan. 19 Contact publishers or literary agents about that manuscript you be been working on. It s time. Aquarius Jan 20-feb. 18 Money comes through the efforts of a partner. Sit Back and allow them to care for you. Pisces feb. 19-March 20 if you re not married this could be a consideration. If you Are enjoy the companionship. Aries March 21-april 19. The emphasis is on your career. Get organized both mentally and physically and move Forward. Copley news service being sexy Isnit just for women anymore Erma Bombeck Hen informed he had been named by people Magazine As the sexiest Man alive an uncomfortable Nick Nolte said a i would have picked Walter men Are new to this dubious distinction and it has been interesting to see their reactions. Almost without exception past sex Symbol winners John f. Kennedy jr., Mark Harmon Mel Gibson and Sean Connery have regarded the recognition with embarrassment. They feel awkward about it. They done to know what to say or How to react. Well get used to it Guys because in time that show you will be judged. Not on what you Are or what you do but How you look. If you re an Anchorman no one will realize you have just announced the results of a presidential Campaign. They will be sitting in their living rooms saying a they Margaret would you get a Load of his hair standing up where does he have it done at a Dairy Queen a if you want a career in show business you re going to have to buy some parts. Inject those pecs with silicone. Lift those buns and implant something a no matter what the risk. Growing old is going to be a luxury. Done to even think about it Wear a Rug. Grow two Long strands of hair and arrange them. Wash that Gray away. Wear shades. Trade your 60-year-old wife in for two 30s, spread Over a five year period. Several things in your favor Are that the requirements for being a sex Symbol have changed throughout the years. When women had a Comer on the Market they be sexy and married. If they had children forget it. That does no to seem to matter anymore. However unhappily married is better for the image you can put your brain on cruise control. You la enter pageants where ask Why you want to alleviate world hunger but the real test will be How you look in a bathing suit. For years men have had a free ride As sex symbols. They did no to have to show skin speak in whispers Wear tight pants flirt or act like they did no to know which Side of a Peanut butter and Jelly Sandwich faced up. Intelligence was sexy in a Man. So was a sense of humor. And especially vulnerability. But times Are changing. Sex objects have become equal Opportunity careers. Revenge will never be so Sweet As the Day a hunk will sing a Happy birthday Madam president in a Low husky whisper to the first woman to run this country. Universal press Syndicate wrong Flowers for mothers Dey 1. France a roses sent Only to lovers 2. Italy a mums Flowers of mourning 3. Australia a Gladiolas mean Quot working class 4. The Netherlands a White Flowers mean mourning 5. Spain yellow roses mean infidelity source world features Syndicate Page 10 a sunday May 3, 1992
